--->>> OTT --- Old Thought Thoughts! <<<---

[SourceShield]

Greetings!

This post is about LIMITING-BELIEFS, or as me and my brother Matt now call them, Old Thought Thoughts - OTT.

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This post will most likely not appeal to many people, because I am writing about our beliefs that we have about life and ourselves, that we all have had for much of our life.

Our beliefs are personal, and yet oddly the 'same' as well.

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There is a school of thought that teaches us that when we identify the OTT i.e. I am unlovable.

Relate to the OTT, rather than from it.

We can then release the attachment to the OTT, as well as the aversion to the OTT.

For example -

A child is told that they are no good, useless and worthless, every other day.

-sadly, this is a story often told, by many.

As this child grows a set of OTT have been programmed into the mind-body of the now grown adult-child.

I am no good.

I am useless.

I am worthless.

etc etc etc

The adult-child now has an attachment to the OTT.

But also you would see an aversion to those OTT as well.

I am no good <- the attachment.

And, I hate that I am no good <- the aversion. The judgement for having the OTT in the first place, keeps us attached to the OTT.

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Not all beliefs are limiting.

All beliefs are fluid.

They are mutable - liable to change, as all things in existence are!

But...

How do we release the OTT?

Thats what we're most interested in!.

I am going to share a few things of how I am learning to release all of the OTT that once ruled my life, and would love to read yours as well!.

1) Refer to the OTT being in the past. If we keep on affirming the OTT in the present moment, it stays in the present moment. By writing and talking about the OTT being in the past, youre correcting the memory. REWIRE!

2) I AUGMENT positive memories. Whatever they are, whenever they happened. This is why I actively look for things to be thankful and grateful for. Appreciation, heals! And thats now science...if youre interested in the research about this, let me know!

3) I have learned to ask for help, and to RECEIVE it graciously, whenever it comes to me. And, it always does.

4) I SMILE and LAUGH more. Theres research for this too!

5) I have changed my eating habits. I EAT WELL now. I am now on the Guts and Psychology Syndrome foodplan GAPS. I used to be obese. No more.

6) I EXPRESS in healthy ways - dance, music, write..

7) I take time out to LOVE - my family, friends, my dog bundy, nature..

REMEMBERING to LOVE is a biggie!.

And, whatta 'bout you?...

[1113]

Hello brother cl,

take your time. Rome wasn't built in a day.

My head didn't actually explode. Joke.

Its important not to jump to far ahead of yourself. You mentioned that it could cause a lot of pain. Maybe thats best for your specialist. If you really want to be kind to yourself, take it slow.

Really give things time to sink in.

Opening up old wounds can be a hard thing. Unless you have some support with you.

Be strong and have some patients.

All in good time bro

Caring brother.

Matt.

[Guest_9809]

Hi Kiatoa, you invited me to join this thread last week.

I have visited a few times, but havent yet contributed. Mainly because right now I cant think of anything. I just re-read the 7 things you listed at the start of your thread. I know I need to work on all 7 of them. But for now, I dont have anything to add. I did want to post here though, so its easier to keep track of the thread. I do like reading all your stories.

And for anybody I havent yet met - namely, Matt, Mary, Lyn. I greet you with a shy smile. I think most of the others here, I have met elsewhere. Nice to read all your stories. I hope to have something to offer in future. But in the meantime I will read your stories as inspiration.

Taurus xx

[SourceShield]

Exactly Matt!

In fact its taken approximately 1,009,491 days apparently.

Thats nearly 3000years.

Technically, Rome is still being built!.

Thats how it is for us, we are still being 'built' as well.

Neuroplasticity.

Matt wrote, be strong and have patience!.

Thats the truth.

Make sure that youre speaking to your therapist about all this, and anytime you wanna question anything Ive written...go right ahead.

Traumatic memories and moments should never be 'handled' alone, at least not to start off with, at all.

We dont go from being a baby to being an adult.

The seed grows into the tree.

So too is it true for us as well.

All this takes a commitment of time, and sincere presence of mind.

If being free, is what you want, step up and step towards it, more and more each day, just like youve written.

A little more each day.

But just start with the 'easy' memories first.

Dont bother yourself with the really full on memories, that bring up a lot of stuff.

Dont go there.

Anytime, my brain wants to go there...I have 'go to' images and soundbites.

Works everytime.

If my brain wants to wander about into the 'shadow realms', and I know its not the place I want to be, I have a go to image of my dog, Bundy, that I flash to, and I make that image as 'real' as I can.

I distract myself, and then use other self-soothing techniques.

Works a treat, when I really dont want to focus or ruminate on the heavier thoughts.

This isnt a competition.

This isnt a 'race' to the end.

We are all gonna get there, eventually.

By learning to relax more and more into life, just a day at a time, we become more at ease with ourselves and life.

The journey becomes the focus.

Less stress about the stuff that you have absolutely no control over.

Be kind to yourself!.

I know that for someone with ASPD thats actually not that easy at all.

For you this disorder does funny things to your brain, when you think of words like kindness, they seem foreign right?

Stay with the therapist.

Stay in touch.

MuchSupport

Kaitoa

[SourceShield]

Hey TS,

Good to 'see' you!

Youre welcome here whenever you like.

You take your time, and take good care of you.

MuchLove

Kaitoa

[Shred1106]

Hey SourceShield

I am having trouble understanding the responsibility you talk of. I am in this "hole" currently and can't get out. I want to make sense of the OTTs because they are a part of where I am at currently. My mind needs to make sense of them before I can put them aside.

As for relaxation and calmness, I welcome any opportunity to try things.

Looking for anything that will help just now..

[Shred1106]

Hi 1113

What sort of point do you refer to when you say find a point you can relate to?

Just wondering

[CompulsiveLiar]

Thank you Matt.

Youre correct on that one. I understand that all this takes time. I read your thread, and like you Ive been checking out Emo-Intel. Therapy is good too. (All True)

Matt, I read in a post above here that you were really agoraphobic, is that right? How is that going for you mate?

Since I started all this soul-searching stuff, Ive become really agoraphobic myself. Im working on it but today I didnt get out of bed, properly, until it was 1pm. Today was a rough day. Didnt go outside until about 6pm. (All True)

Matt, if youve ever been mistreated by someone, or if youve ever been hurt badly by someone, Im sorry about that. I was a bully. I was a horrible kid. You sound like the perfect dad. When I went through the other thread I can tell that you truly love your boy. If you were ever harmed by another person, on their behalf, Im really sorry about that. (All true)

I get that it doesnt change much but Im sorry if you were ever hurt by another person, or people. Ive been at both ends of this spectrum. The victim and the bully. You get hurt no matter where you are. Whats sad is that we all get hurt. I have to learn how to use my emotional intelligence too, like you are. Thats not that easy with a disorder the ASPD. (All True)

Writing is getting easier (Lie).

I appreciate you responding to my post. (True)

CL.

[1113]

Hi shredstar,

Im trying my hardest to limit my screen time otherwise I can't sleep properly. But I will lend a hand. The point I am speaking of is more like trying to understand OTT. When your in a "hole" as you say, it can be really hard. I can relate to that and so can many others suffering.

I will refer to the end of your past post as an OTT.

OTT: trying to look past today is hard to

NTT: guess I'm trying though

One is positive and one is negative. Use the positive one and let go of the other.

I hope you can relate to that.

I wish you a restful night.

I know sleep is hard.

Keep trying to focus on your breath. Slow deep breathing and maybe just sit your hands on your stomach. When you lose focus say " guess I'm trying though". Then try again.

Practice makes better.

Will chat more later.

Matt.

I

[1113]

Morning CL,

Thankyou so much for your kind words. Bad things happen to everybody. I don't need to list mine, just accept them.

Agrophobia is when I'm at my lowest. For me its a mixture of to many symptoms, pain and fear. I really believe you should listen to your body. When my agrophobia kicks in big time I don't go outside at all. This forum has helped me see that making some sense in my own head is good. Thats important! You are the master of yourself.....not the other way around. HWJT helps with that. Please join in. Make up your own. Creativity is just that. Finding what helps you....what you relate to.....it needs to suit you.....finding yourself how you see yourself....nobody can do thay but you. Kaitoa, I hope thats a fair assessment of your work. Peace bro.

Todays OTT is mine to release.

OTT: I am agrophobic. Scared and ashamed of myself. I am worthless. I am so sick of feeling this way. Why can I just be normal again. Why are people looking at me this way. Loop affect of negative thinking. BIG TIME.

NTT: I am good. Proud and happy with myself. I am worthy. I am managing a illness well. With practice and dedication normality will proceed. I look at myself in this way. Loop affect of positive thinking.

Proof:

In the last two days I have felt this way. When I went out in public. First to my DR, and I sat in a room with a 500 people at an award ceremony. It was tough. It drained all my energy. But I did it and things are looking up in that respect.

Practice makes better.

( all true)

Matt.

[1113]

Hi Taurus,

Welcome.

My dog ( Amber) and my boy are all well.

Take your time.

Kaitoa keeps telling me its not a race.

Hope you are doing well.

Matt.