--->>> OTT --- Old Thought Thoughts! <<<---

[SourceShield]

Greetings!

This post is about LIMITING-BELIEFS, or as me and my brother Matt now call them, Old Thought Thoughts - OTT.

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This post will most likely not appeal to many people, because I am writing about our beliefs that we have about life and ourselves, that we all have had for much of our life.

Our beliefs are personal, and yet oddly the 'same' as well.

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There is a school of thought that teaches us that when we identify the OTT i.e. I am unlovable.

Relate to the OTT, rather than from it.

We can then release the attachment to the OTT, as well as the aversion to the OTT.

For example -

A child is told that they are no good, useless and worthless, every other day.

-sadly, this is a story often told, by many.

As this child grows a set of OTT have been programmed into the mind-body of the now grown adult-child.

I am no good.

I am useless.

I am worthless.

etc etc etc

The adult-child now has an attachment to the OTT.

But also you would see an aversion to those OTT as well.

I am no good <- the attachment.

And, I hate that I am no good <- the aversion. The judgement for having the OTT in the first place, keeps us attached to the OTT.

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Not all beliefs are limiting.

All beliefs are fluid.

They are mutable - liable to change, as all things in existence are!

But...

How do we release the OTT?

Thats what we're most interested in!.

I am going to share a few things of how I am learning to release all of the OTT that once ruled my life, and would love to read yours as well!.

1) Refer to the OTT being in the past. If we keep on affirming the OTT in the present moment, it stays in the present moment. By writing and talking about the OTT being in the past, youre correcting the memory. REWIRE!

2) I AUGMENT positive memories. Whatever they are, whenever they happened. This is why I actively look for things to be thankful and grateful for. Appreciation, heals! And thats now science...if youre interested in the research about this, let me know!

3) I have learned to ask for help, and to RECEIVE it graciously, whenever it comes to me. And, it always does.

4) I SMILE and LAUGH more. Theres research for this too!

5) I have changed my eating habits. I EAT WELL now. I am now on the Guts and Psychology Syndrome foodplan GAPS. I used to be obese. No more.

6) I EXPRESS in healthy ways - dance, music, write..

7) I take time out to LOVE - my family, friends, my dog bundy, nature..

REMEMBERING to LOVE is a biggie!.

And, whatta 'bout you?...

[Shred1106]

Hi SourceShield

You raise some interesting points - you've obviously come a long way.Well done to you.My problem is though that the OTTs are so prolific that I can't stop them or make sense of them.Relaxing and being calm is very difficult.

[SourceShield]

Hi Shredster!

Welcome to the convo!

Thanks for joining us

You said -

"...My problem is though that the OTTs are so prolific that I can't stop them or make sense of them. Relaxing and being calm is very difficult".

Shred, can you see how that whole statement, is an OTT?

1) "My problem is though that the OTTs are so prolific" -

You've taken ownership of the OTT.

This is what we do.

You arent alone on this one.

But, this OTT isnt yours anymore.

Start to refer to them as simply, THE OTT, like you were observing them as separate from you - like you were a scientist observing a phenomena.

Thats all that this is - An OTT phenomena.

Passing through, like an internal emotional weather-system.

Relating to the OTT in this way, releases all personal ownership.

Giving you a lot more 'breathing' space to get back to a state of calm, or at least...less anxious.

Because if your thoughts are bothering you in this way, that much, Shred - I hope that you have spoken to a Dr about this?

Dont be foolish like me!

See a Dr or a professional that you trust if the OTT are THAT persistent.

Does the need to release ownership make sense to you, if it doesnt, just say, I can use other terminology or imagery to help you with this.

Thats too easy...thats the power of creativity!

2) "I can't stop them or make sense of them"

Okay, this may blow your mind but we arent meant to 'stop' thoughts, and the OTT are going to float about no matter what.

That was a tough pill for me to swallow too.

I have some strategies that I will write about in another post for you, okay Shred?

3) "Relaxing and being calm is very difficult"

There is truth here, YES - relaxing and being calm is very difficult.

For those of us that live with any disorder etc, being relaxed and calm can be challenging.

But, thats only half of the picture.

The other half is possible.

It is possible for us to be more calm, in more moments, throughout our day. Day after day.

I believe that, do you Shred?

It is possible to be more relaxed, in more moments, throughout our day. Day after day.

I believe that, do you Shred?

One day at a time.

Dont expect to be a genius at this straight away, okay?

Just stick with it.

Read the post above re: practise when we dont need to practise.

Do you think that you could find 15mins of your day to practise being Calm&Relaxed with me?

We could set our alarms, and do this exercise together, A CyberMeditation Class.

Anyone else keen to do that?

MuchLove&Peace

[1113]

Morning All,

Shreadstar,

Welcome...your journey is just beginning. Give yourself some time and find some point to relate to. Everybody is different......at different stages........ feel differently.........understand differently.

Start with this.

OTT

Shred1106 said:

Hi SourceShield

You raise some interesting points - you've obviously come a long way.Well done to you.My problem is though that the OTTs are so prolific that I can't stop them or make sense of them.Relaxing and being calm is very difficult.

This is very hard.......yes. I am making some headway.

Relaxing is hard......yes. I dont need to be perfect at it just yet.

I can't make sense of them.......yes. I am not alone. I'm here on the BB forums and that is an awesome start.

I'm proud of you shredstar. This is your journey to take however you wish. When your ready. Slow and steady.

You are understood...not alone.

white rose can help you here too. She is kind and has some relaxation techniques that could be helpful.

Do you do any relaxation?​

Matt.

[White_Rose]

Hello Shred

Nice to catch up with you. I don't think we have 'met' before.

Prolific OTTs! That's a nuisance because it's hard to know where to start. I have spoken a little, above, about meditation. For me this is a guiding way to live with me and my difficulties. It's not merely a form of relaxation but of getting to the centre of myself and learning to be at peace there. For me, being in that place is the start of dealing with life. I do find it a little difficult to explain so if there are any ambiguities please let me know.

It's not an instant cure or a way of relaxing, though that is one of the benefits. It's more about taking yourself out of time to be with yourself. Just in case that sounds not only scary but also pretentious, let me say I am not talking about having out of body experiences or anything of that nature. It's being in a place with yourself and for a short time the world is at arm's length.

Having that daily time to commune as it were with yourself, starts your healing process. I think my explanations are making meditation sound airy fairy at best, don't want to think what the worst looks like. 😊 Read my explanations above and see if any of it makes sense. Come back and chat and ask questions. Not sure if I can answer everything but I will try.

The main thing I want to say is when I meditate regularly I begin to see where I need to go. Really it allows me to work out my priorities because they are quietly sitting on the back burner and cooking at their own rate. When one issue indicates it ready for action it is natural to do something for or about that issue. Yes it's a long process but it gives so much back and is far more gentle than being hustled into talking about things that are still very raw or not quite ready to see the sunlight. It's also easier to go through the letting go process.

Hope this is helpful and not creepy.

Mary

[CompulsiveLiar]

Hello SourceShield.

Thank you for inviting me to join this thread, and thanks again so much for reaching out to me this morning. As I have written in my first post last night, I have an AntiSocial Personality Disorder APSD. This is one of the most unpopular of all the disorders because most of us have been criminals, or seen as nothing but criminals, for most of our life. Im here because as my username says I have been a compulsive liar, for as long as I can remember. Source when you reached out to me this morning, you offered me a lifeline. No one has ever really cared or taken the time to acknowledge the pain that this disorder causes me and so many other people, but you did that.

I have hurt people. Ive never taken another persons life or anything major like that, I guess youre going to have to believe that for yourselves. As mentioned in my first post, the thing with telling lies is that eventually no one believes you. My therapist says that in spite of what others may think of me, as long as I still really do want to change and improve my life, I can. I believe that you Source also reached out to me and offered to check in with me, to help me to stay accountable. Im so very appreciative of that right now. Having the ASPD can be a very lonely thing to live with.

My question Source is as youve written above - responsibility.

How can I take full responsibility for my life when I have done so much bad?

You say that we arent meant to stop thoughts but what about when they just dont stop?

I cant control what I think. I already know what youre going to say, that this is an OTT, so how do I release it?

I would never expect you to have all the answers but you seem like someone that in spite of what you have been through, because I have read your other posts too, you seem like someone that is ready to move forward, as you say. I'd like to do that as well, but the OTT just get the better of me.

I have promised my therapist that I would always be as honest as I can with him, and I pledge this to you as well Source. Im not going to get too involved with too many other threads right now, because I feel like I dont have much to offer, so I will make sure to drop into this thread as often as I can, you also mentioned that you would check in on me Source, on my first post. I would appreciate that as well.

I am doing StoryTelling therapy, may seem funny for a guy thats been telling stories all his life, but this is teaching me that my story matters. Thanks

[Shred1106]

Hi 1113

Thanks for your reply.

I used to do relaxation on a regular basis but have been finding it very hard to "stop" with all the anxiety mixed into what's going on for me. I feel like I am in a washing machine on the spin cycle, only the cycle doesn't stop.At night, when I try to sleep I am processing all that has gone on during the day and what I haven't done.

If I went any slower with things - I don't know...

I am not proud of me, and my parents never said they were proud of me. I am not looking for sympathy but rather understanding. It's so darn hard to be positive about anything just now.

Trying to look past today is hard to.

I guess though I am trying

[Shred1106]

Hi White Rose -

It is helpful on one level.You know what I mean. I feel like things are there just in front of me but I can't reach them.Like finding peace and calm.

I am trying

[SourceShield]

Hey Shred,

I did get back to you.

Just a bit of lag with uploading the post.

But its there now.

Take a look, and get back to me, with how you feel about it.

We can then, go from there, okay?

Thanks

MuchLove

[SourceShield]

Hey CL,

Thanks for joining us here.

You get no judgement from me, okay?

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1) How do you take responsibility?

You just do!.

The question that we must ask ourselves is 'when'.

When will you take responsibility for your own life CL?

Now?

If not now, then when?

Once youve made your mind up from there, whether it be now or later, then we can move forward.

Because the truth of the matter is, the HOW TOs are what we all want to work out...

If we all knew how to not be this way, we would already be there.

Im still learning to.

I make mistakes all the time.

Im dead certain now though that the making of the mistakes, is all part of it.

From a spiritual point of view, there are no mistakes.

Its all part of ones journey.

So taking responsibility for ones journey is a huge part of the deal, and that must include all the horrible things that we have said or done to people.

You tell me that you have ASPD, and a conduct disorder, as a kid, in your first post. That means youve been 'getting into trouble' for most of your life.

I really feel for you man.

That must be such a rough life that you have lived so far.

Im not at all surprised that you feel the way that you do about life and your place in it.

I dont know what youve done. And I dont ever need to.

I just know that I believe that we can be free of the attachment to the OTT.

Its the attachment and the aversion to the OTT, that keep us locked onto that OTT.

2) This leads me to the next point - Remember its impossible to stop thoughts.

Thats not our job.

People that think that thats what this is all about, have been misled.

Its not the stopping of the thoughts, that we can do at all, but its the attachment to certain kinds of thoughts, that we can release ourselves from, thats what this is all about.

Dig it?

Do you know the difference between THOUGHTS and THINKING?

Thoughts happen. Whether we like it or not.

We have automatic thoughts, that pop into our head involuntarily.

We have 'conscious' thoughts.

Thoughts will keep on happening.

THINKING is where we take back the power.

Actively choosing what we THINK about is the key.

Think more positive feeling thoughts.

Actively choose to think about something in a new way.

This is what I love about creativity.

I have complete control over what I want to think about, and so do you?

Can you dig it?

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NPT

"I can always learn new things, and think new thoughts".

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Thanks again for joining us, CL.

You're not alone!

Peace.

[CompulsiveLiar]

wow

Source, as 1113 said in one of his posts, that just exploded my brain!.

That all makes sense to me. I think I can dig it.

I cant stop thoughts from happening but I can control what I think about?. Its the attachment to some thoughts that needs to be released?. Is that correct?

I am ready to take full responsibility. Have you got any more tricks to help with that?

You are right some of my earliest memories are very painful memories and that I feel like I have been in trouble all of my life. Im in a lot of pain a lot of the time. Once a person with ASPD starts to open up I was told that we experoience a hell of a lot of emotional pain from all the baggage of the past. Guilt is a heavy feeling and is taking a lot of therapy to work through it. Writing is helping. I can write honestly and say that I feel guilty for all that I have done, and that I can let some of that guilt go now, and a little more tomorrow. Thats right isnt it Source?

I dont want to meditate but I like the idea of some of the other meditations, whats a sound bath?

I think that everyone here is doing really good work and that it isnt easy for me to write that but I wanted to. But I appreciate you taking the time to respond Source. Thanks