Following your gut to find happiness

[sadgirl57]

So this is more a question in terms of staying well rather than tips because I personally find my depression is due to trying to find not an easy path but a path that gets me to at least coping and surviving than following my gut. taking risks and doing things that'll make me genuinely happy and finding my purpose so my question is has anyone used spirituality to get in touch with their intuition, meditation etc to find what they really wanted and go for things that may have not feel like they made sense at the time that turned out to be great?

Sorry if this thread isn't fit for here but I just... there's a lifestyle I want to live and things I want to do but I feel so stuck in my current rat-race lifestyle and part of me feels like I should try fit in with the norm and it be against everything I'm about and make the most of it or completely go against the grain and do the best that I can, maybe not be rich but be happy. I don't know. I don't know. I need to find some guidance within myself and want to know if meditation not just helped with the calm but real, life-changing experience.
I hope someone can help, no pressure though.

[Jacko777]

Hi sadgirl57,

I am glad you asked! I have seen many doctors and counsellors and I have also been on a spiritual journey that has been highly enlightening. I went through a phase years ago of practicing meditation every day, some times for hours and it has brought me much calmness and happiness. It really changed my complete outlook on life and I feel like I can now respond form my heart/spirit to the challenges of life rather than react out of emotion. I have come much closer to being able to give unconditional love without expectation of anything in return. I have become aware of energy flows between my self and others and by monitoring this I can control my responses.

Being happy and calm IS being rich. Be rich in love and care, don't ever deny the value of the passion in your heart, let it become one with your mind and let it flow out, don't ever be ashamed or embarrassed, what you think of your self is important, what others think of you is a reflection of their relationship with their self. We can't know what other people are thinking so we can't really tell if being rich makes one happy anyway, we can find happiness whether we are financially rich or broke. I believe that if you respond to life with love in your heart then you cannot go wrong, every negative becomes a positive to a soul that is up for growth, nothing is negative because we take challenges on board and learn and grow to become better people.

Being true to my self is what gives me the energy and love to spend my time trying to help others, I get on these forums and I am a public speaker for Beyond Blue, I don't even get nervous in front of 200 people because I am there to help and to give love, what they give back to me is not important, only what I can give to them.

There are thousands of books on the subject of spirituality and you could start reading, i have read probably hundreds and every book has something of value. I could talk about spirituality for days! So talk here any time, i am so glad I saw your post!

Jack x

[sadgirl57]

Hi Jack, 

I'm glad you saw my post too! I feel like we could talk for hours about this subject. I'm so curious about it and always read about it but it hasn't become apart of my daily routine yet because I really, really suck at focusing and I fall asleep. I find meditation so difficult and even found myself wanting to remove myself from a group meditation session because I couldn't keep still and relax. When I do it at home, sleep time. I feel so blocked on so many different levels of life and am finding it really overwhelming trying to get into a new schedule and fit in all these things I want to fit in. I have some big, life changing decisions I need to make and I don't want to just think with my head, I want to feel the right answer come from my gut - I want to lead a life with my intuition because I know it's good at what it does, I forget to listen to it and have been burned countless times for not listening to it. I'm really in a rut right now where I don't feel I've really been myself for a very, very long time because of bullying at school and just shut the real me away and now that I want to be that person again I'm terrified, feeling like none of my friends and family really know me and I feel like I need to find somewhere I belong because my day to day life, friends, everything just feels wrong. I don't know if that would make sense to you at all. A lot of people didn't and don't like me because of my full on/out there personality and I don't know who I can be myself around and find myself being my own best friend because no one else can handle me or likes me. Every time I feel I've found someone I can be me around I let it out and they're put off and I find myself being shut away again. I feel meditation might lead me to a place I belong. 

Thanks, Cassie xo.

[Jacko777]

Thanks for your reply Cassie.

Yes you make sense and I am sure many would relate to what you are saying. I went through a phase of falling asleep in meditation, don't worry about it, whatever happens is a part of your journey, embrace where you are at and keep plodding away I reckon. The practice of meditation is just that, a practice, few perfect it and that is not the purpose I believe. Any meditation will bring positive results, whether you fall asleep or have a busy mind. I used to set an alarm in case I fell asleep, some of my best meditations have been on the edge of sleep and it takes practice to stay focused. You could try putting some music on, or try a guided meditation on Youtube, something to focus on, some people meditate on a visual object, like a candle or such. Maybe you could try mixing it up, try a fresh approach.

I started my journey of recovery with psychology and came to spirituality later. I could not have come to spirituality without first clearing some 'blockages' in my mind first, I had old programs running that had been left to fester and without help I may have never become aware of them. With my mind largely at ease I could focus on discovering my true self. 

I think that if you can stay on your path to be true to your self you won't lose many if any friends. You will be happier and people will like to see you like that. Do you think your 'full on personality' is your true passionate self? You can treat life like a meditation too, every moment we can practice being true to ourselves, dropping any emotion of the mind and being aware of how we give and take energy. I hope that if you continue to be true to your self you will come to meet more like minded people. I am always curious about spirituality too, if I have a spirit then it is within me and I should be able to access it, I should know about it. Would you lie to talk about the life changing decisions you need to make?

Jack xo

[sadgirl57]

Most of the time I do meditation at home anyway when I have lots of free time. I'm not bothered by falling asleep, I guess I was under the impression it wouldn't be working if I fell asleep. 

Maybe that's why I find meditation so difficult. I recently gave up certain illicit things and have been practicing a more open mindset and I'm seeing positive effects so far which is good. At first I was horribly cranky and not sleeping, I'm still not sleeping so well but I got my dreams back and I feel more balanced. 

I feel like what's blocking me from being myself is the idea that I have to be one certain person all the time but I'm such a chameleon. I guess everyone is like that at times. And yes to the personality thing, I was listening to a spiritual podcast the other day and it was saying some people are overly sensitive and empathic and that's so me. I'm coming across articles and stuff that are making me feel like I'm not as different as I feel. 

I hope I meet at least one person soon that's more like me so I don't have to feel so alone in this world. 

Yeah, so pretty much my Dad is a pretty crap human and I'm working on healing myself from a traumatic childhood and he's been trying to contact me because he might die soon from medical issues and I don't know if I should try reconcile or salvage what's left of a normal father/daughter relationship or what. He makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't feel like I even know the guy (I did grow up with him and always lived with him and everything but stopped contact a year or so ago), really the only reason I would contact him is for his own benefit so he didn't feel like a piece of crap before he goes. 

And relationship as well. I'm having trouble with it, it's just because it's so easy for me to just pack up and leave people instead of working on relationships because I'm okay with being alone. He's so good for me in so many ways and then so crap in other ways and I'm confused. No one else would be able to cope with my mental health like he has. Sometimes I feel like we're not really in love and we're just a team giving each other support and company. And in a lot of ways holding each other back. I never know what to do. 

[Jacko777]

Thanks SG, I am humbled that you would share your deepest concerns. And I think you can take some steps to improve these situations, perhaps you could even consider some counselling support, it's really helped me when trying to get my head around relationship issues.

You have certainly made some great positive changes and you are taking steps to have a greater awareness of your self. So well done! Life is a journey and we have the choice to enjoy the journey or not, it takes practice...lots of practice. I completely relate to your feelings of sensitivity and empathy, I suppose it is about finding a balance in life, embrace your true self and partake in a life you choose, giving gratitude for what you have and taking satisfaction from the challenges you face. I have to ensure that I am being 100% truthful about my self, denying or ignoring a negative part of my self would defeat the purpose.

My message to self when it comes to meditation...just do it. It doesn't really matter how it goes, all that matters is that I have a go, it's time spent training my mind to focus which I can then use to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Removing negative thinking from my life takes practice and brings me so much calmness, being thankful for everything in my life right down to the breath brings me much happiness and satisfaction. When it comes to spiritual journeys I believe that when you get in the saddle the path will reveal itself, keep an eye out for that!

I'm not sure about your dad SG. I don't want you to regret not seeing him if he passes. He may have been a crap human, but you're not. You might be able to find the strength to contact him and you both might benefit, you possibly might not get this opportunity again. It helps me to be clear about what choices I have and be aware of the choice I am making, then if I have niggling thoughts I can pull my self up and remind my self that I have made the right choice, i'm sticking with it and I don't need to think about it any more. (Practice!)

..........

[Jacko777]

Perhaps you could write down the positives and negatives in your relationship, see how they weigh up. As you know, relationships take work and with the right actions you could re inject some love and intimacy, reduce the supportive roles. However the negative issues you have mentioned could be challenging and here I go again...a relationships counsellor could really help you there! Most of us would relate to not knowing what to do, so we get help, get informed and supported and make some choices, take small steps to achieve our goals.You are doing great mate. Jack x

[sadgirl57]

Haha, no unfortunately there's no chance of relationship counselor or anything like that. I don't think it's worth thinking too much about. My boyfriend on the other hand maybe. 

[Just Sara]

Hi Sadgirl and Jacko; I'm wondering if it's ok to join in. I did the spiritual journey first and then psychology. Some people confuse spirituality with new age subjects. For me it bought something new and exciting and it took me into groups of people who were concentrating on psychic ability and visual meditations. 

However, people who are emotionally charged and empathic by nature, like me, can get 'attached' to others and the outcome is carrying around what doesn't belong to you. Learning to detach from issues, not people, is the key. The whole energy system does exist, but it's the invisible world. Take it from me, this realm is a reflection of how we live our lives in the physical. That's all!

I must stress, our brains have evolved to interpret the physical world. Since the introduction of new age thinking, we have challenged our minds to deal with interpreting dreams, ghostly apparitions and the like. Our minds aren't built to comprehend these phenomenon, so it uses the rules for the physical. If you concentrate on something long and hard enough, the brain will think it's 'reality' especially if it's in pictures. Our mental health is paramount to everything we do, feel, think and say. We need it to survive. That's why grounding is so important. I know first hand that accessing the future and past is possible. But as I've stated, the brain doesn't know the difference and will think it's 'now'. Therefore we continue to recreate our pasts over and over. And; getting into the heads of others can cause problems if you consider the above. If we 'picture' what others are feeling or thinking, our brain may interpret this as 'us'. 

I have no doubt this is a key to mental health issues. That's why it's so important for us to only deal with our own stuff. Spirituality is about knowing and creating the self with positive thoughts and especially boundaries. Our culture is filled with advertisements meant to invade our psyche to encourage spending and a complex lifestyle. The KISS theory is so important for those of us who are energy sensitive. We only need food, water, shelter and clothing to live. Yet we've bought into the illusion that 'things' depict our value. Our minds are trying to evolve to deal with the onslaught of material thinking and the invisible realm. 

The issue of energy is real and I could talk about it for ages. Live your life today, tomorrow will take care of itself with each decision, action and thought. Cheers..Dizzy x

[sadgirl57]

Hi guys, 

I'm hoping you can help  me with a spiritual/ lifestyle matter. I'm trying to have like a lifestyle overhaul right now and I don't know if you've ever felt like you weren't in the right place or around the right people, there's nothing particularly wrong with the people in my life but I just feel like I don't connect with them and I've just read an article on 'warning signs the universe gives you when you're on the wrong path' and I basically ticked all the boxes and have had a gut feeling I'm not in the right place so my question is how do I know the difference between a brash decision or intuition?