Finding Hope

[grungerock]

I am an Australian male living and working in Hong Kong. 3 years ago I suffered anxiety disorder with mild depression, treated with medication with some minor therapy for 6 months.

I was well for the last 3 years, until recently I had a relapsed because of job change - but this time it's more depression but minor anxiety. 

I was feeling hopeless with this relapse, I went with the same above medication but it didn't work and psychiatrist changes it. The issue is I am dwelling / worry about this sickness, I still haven't accepted and depressive symptoms are more challenging.  It's like when things are so great for the last time..then "bam"....it returns.

I like to hear from people around how do they cope this when it relapse and staying well.

Thanks.

[AGrace]

Hi grungerock,

Welcome!

Wow, Hong Kong such a great city.

Rather than me rehashing every suggestion of coping strategies, I wanted to ask whether you have visited any of the threads under TREATMENTS or RECOVERY & STAYING WELL? You'll find a heap of threads here where various members have posted their techniques, feel free to join any of the discussions here.

I will say for me, I've had to tackle symptoms from a number of angles:

Medication - find the right type & dose. Have this reviewed regularly.

Psychology - learning coping skills with a trained professional, but also actually putting them into practice in day to day life.

Support groups/Group therapy - the opportunity to share like experiences with others. Adding to your skills basket. Feeling a sense of belonging.

Mindfulness - learning to be aware of the present, rather than ruminating over the past or worrying about the future.

Exercise - even just a small walk daily

Diet - eating at regular intervals from 5 food groups, reduce alcohol, caffeine, and sugar consumption.

Sleep - As much as you can at night, try to avoid daytime napping.

I hope this is helpful.

AGrace

[grungerock]

I feel down... I cannot relate and be feeling happy to my 2 year old daughter....

I have unknown fear and worry... and I start doubting the psychiatrist medication if it's the right one....

[grungerock]

Hi AgGrace

Thanks for the post. I went through  the threads under TREATMENTS or RECOVERY & STAYING WELL at this moment. I am still overwhelmed.  I do really like your positive post... must be a long way road to stay positive.

Medication - The psychiatric doctor has started an alternative medication instead of the 1st relapse medication... just fear n worry that it's not working since it's already 2-3 weeks... since I still have anxiety.

.Psychology - Yep this I am going through clinical psychologist... big mistake 3 years ago is I didn't follow up since I take medication for granted!

Thanks

[geoff]

dear Grungerock, I tend to believe that your anxiety hasn't changed, it's just that your depression has increased ten fold.

I am a person who is always sustainable in having relapses, as I have had two this year, fortunately they only last a couple of days and then I pick up again.

One of them I knew I was going to have, while the other was debatable.

It seems as though you are in denial trying to accept that you have depression, because your anxiety has been the strong illness.

I couldn't have stopped my relapse, while others could do so by what Amber has suggested, but it depends on how each person feels.

In regard to the medication you should stay in contact with your psychiatrist, because within a couple of weeks if it's going to help you, then it should start to work, otherwise you have to tell it's not, and please let us know. Geoff.

[grungerock]

I hope someone can give me some insight into the depression. What I am suffering is not thought provokings but the emotional roller coaster (fear, worry...) has been overwhelming.  Can anyone give me insight how to deal with this? Thanks

[Doolhof]

Hi Grunerock,

Welcome to the community here at BB. It is great that you have reached out trying to find some answers and advice about your depression and anxiety. I'm a lady who has experienced depression for about 40 years now off and on, and have recently thrown in stress for good measure.

AGrace and Geoff have given you great feedback. From my experience, it is quite difficult to put the wonderful methods AGrace has mentioned into practise, so maybe chose one idea which you might like to try and give it a go. Do this as well as seeing your GP and getting all the professional assistance you can.

Am I reading your story right in thinking the depression has become greater than the anxiety and you are concerned and confused about the depression? For every single person on earth, depression can mean and feel like something different.

 It may help you if you write out how DEPRESSION feels for you, how it has changed your wellbeing, how it manifests itself in your life, how has it affected your moods and feelings, and anything else you can think of. Write out your fears and worries concerning your depression. You could post the list here and take it to your clinical psychologist as well.

You mentioned your two year old daughter, and not being able to be happy for her. For now, just take pleasure in allowing yourself to enjoy your daughter and all she is up to in her life. Take her to the beach if you are close by and just watch her having fun in the sand and in the sea, take her to Ocean Park and see the happiness and joy on her face as she looks at all the creatures there, go to a park and enjoy pushing her on a swing and be thrilled with her squeals of laughter, get some paints and finger paint together, the mess will all wash out in water! Hang up your creations so you can both enjoy looking at them.

Take one day at a time, do not put too much burden on tomorrow when it has not arrived yet. Could you join in some of the early morning Tia Chi/Relaxation activities that seem to happen on the streets of Hong Kong? Sounds like a great way to start the day to me.

Thinking of you and hoping you can come to terms with and conquer your depression and anxiety.

From Dools.

[grungerock]

Hello Dools

Thanks a lot for the long advise and encouragement.

Am I reading your story right in thinking the depression has become greater than the anxiety and you are concerned and confused about the depression? For every single person on earth, depression can mean and feel like something different.

To answer this, I am confused. I spoke to my psychologist and I explain that I have more of the anxiety disorder feelings than depression.  The feelings of worry and fear. These have no trigger reasons, just purely feelings. When this feelings come, I feel I am in the depersonalization area.  I like to bring this up to my psychiatry, he's so far giving me an sedative antidepressant (for depression) because the relapse started with sleep anxiety.  This sedative antidepressant puts me to sleep great and my depression mood is lifted. 

[Doolhof]

Hello Grungerock,

Yer, I don't usually do short messages! Sometimes I* wish I could find a few words to express how I feel instead of writing a complete letter each time, but hey, we all express ourselves differently!

I am so thrilled for you that your feeling of depression has lifted and you are sleeping a lot better. It seems though you are still hampered by the feelings of anxiety, worry and fear.

So do any of the following sound like what you are experiencing (this information is from a book called Taking Care of Yourself and Your Family by John Ashfield)

Feelin on edge or wound up most of the time

Constantly worried about a lot of things

Feeling irritable frequently

Tense or nervous much of the time

Avoiding people and social situations

Trembling, tingling, light-headedness, dizzy spells, sweating

Feeling panicky in some situations

Having difficulty relaxing

Worrying a lot

Compulsively checking, counting, or cleaning things

Tiredness and fatigue

(just to name a few)

If you are experiencing any of these, you could make a note of them and show your psychiatrist at your next appointment, and write down anything about how you are feeling.

You could look up Anxiety, Worry and Fear on the computer and see if there are worksheets available to assist you to take control of these feelings.

I'd like to continue to encourage you to see the help and advice you need to get some answers so you can be a conqueror of these conditions.

All the best to you, from Dools

[grungerock]

I went to my psychiatrist and he decided to up my dosage for additional 2 weeks (since I am now on 4th week) and to see how it goes. If it does not work, he will change the medication.

I did explain to him what my feelings are and he wrote and listen down carefully.

Cognitively I know what I am doing:

1. Fear of the fear

2. Hypervigilance

(This sound like an anxiety disorder)

and my psychologist said that I have selective attention

Now the CBT part is the challenging!