Hi Cath22 and welcome to the community.
Your husband is fortunate to have you looking out for him. A loving, consistent and patient supporter is the most valuable gift of all when you're unwell.
I am very similar to your partner. Being physical is one of the best ways to help myself too but when I'm low I just cannot motivate myself. I'll make excuses and lash out if hubby nags me.
How about privately making a list of ideas you can do as a family and gently work through them. Record which ones succeed and which don't. This will help you find any patterns. What works. What doesn't. What makes it worse.
For example my husband often tries too hard to get me out and on his days off will drag me out endlessly. Too much. I get even more exhausted so when he returns to work I end up slumping again badly and he gets annoyed.
Gentle and small changes over time is key I believe.
However... I also need to be pushed firmly. I need him to drag me out (Just in small doses).
Some things to try based on what works for us... Not all these are exercise as such but they are physical and help connect me with my body.
- Sex. Ok sorry if that seems rude but it can work and it is exercise. Plus it makes you both feel good and closer to eachother.
- Stretches. I help my husband with stretches he learnt at the physio before bed. It sounds silly but again it feels intimate (and to be blunt often leads to my first point).
- Massage. Take turns. Feet and hands are very helpful especially if like me you find massage uncomfortable.
- Dancing. Have you ever learned to waltz? Hubby dragged me to lessons before our wedding. I am hopeless but there is something about the slow waltz at home that makes me feel so loved.
- Find a piece of exercise equipment he enjoys and buy one for home. Make it part of the routine for your family. Time for him in a private room ten minutes every day. His favourite music and good headphones (a dark room helps too for me anyway). It helps if you both have time. If you do ten minutes too he is more likely to agree.
- Gardening! This is my absolute saviour.
- Working outside at home. Mulching. Digging. Raking. Sweeping. Stacking rocks. Painting. Doesn't matter what... Just active.
- Outdoor toys for your child and hubby to share. Sandpit. Swing. Trampoline!
- Bushwalks and a picnic.
- Family roadtrips.
- Routine of walking the dog as a family.
It is trial and error but your husband is so lucky to have you. I hope exercise makes you feel good too.
I wish you luck.
Nat
