Does "life Begin at 60"

[meercat]

As the saying goes "life begins at 60"

Since turning 64 recently iv been wondering.. am i different since i hit 60...

Has your life changed since then?

Someone said the other day.."try to get to know yourself.. find out what you want to get out of life?"

Statistically iv got 29 years to find myself.. my dad's 93..

When we hit 60 where do we go..what do we do?

meercat xx

[Hanna3]

Hi quirky,

I often wonder how terrifying it must be for actresses and models and very beautiful people to get older - I suppose that's why so many of them have so much plastic surgery done... it must be devastating to be incredibly good looking and then lose that... my young woman GP recently told me most of the women who see her have had some form of plastic surgery done, and botox - I had never thought of doing something like that!

I think the best thing we can do is try to smile and be cheerful - the worst thing is a cranky complaining old person, so I guess we need to do our best out there to be cheerful and have a sense of humour about getting older... I know when I've stood in a queue for ages while an elderly person takes up time talking to the person in the shop at the counter about all their ailments and aches and pains, how dreary it is!

I was talking to my music teacher this afternoon about getting older and he said the main thing is to keep interested in lots of things, he wonders why people are busy with their jobs and family all their working lives and then when they retire they have time to do things and don't bother anymore - things like joining a group or taking up a hobby or a musical instrument or anything really.

I have a book called Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Gordon Livingston which is about how to be/not to be as you get older, and it's a really good guide! Maybe you're near a library that might have it?

I understand about the aches and pains and yes it's tough isn't it! Bummer. What can we do? Have you read The Weekend by Charlotte Wood? I couldn't stop laughing, although sometimes ruefully - it's about a group of women friends facing getting older. Thoroughly recommended! Cheers.

[quirkywords]

Hanna
thanks for your post. I have a copy of that book by Charlotte Wood but have not read it. Thanks for your review.

[ecomama]

Hey good lookin' over 60s lol!

As I was reading the last few posts, I wasn't sure if there was intentional humour in them or not sorry but I got a chuckle because I do see the humour eg "You know you are getting older when you do the warm up exercises for a 15 min online session and you are exhausted and aching before the real exercises start!!"

Hey Hanna, a slipped disc isn't fun, I absolutely wasn't laughing at that, but there are solutions, I think you asked for some ideas? I see a Chiro regularly.
After breaking my back over 30y ago (and it not being diagnosed for a good long while after!), I slip discs "often" now. I slipped 3 catching a far too heavy branch last year after climbing the tree and sawing the branch half off, then continuing sawing from the ground and catching it!

My Chiro encourages me ALL the time to keep active. Maybe not catch falling branches but keep moving.

I also had hypnotherapy when I was pregnant with my first baby for managing the "sensations" of labour and aftermath. Those techniques help ALOT when my back does that. Don't need meds, can still go to work etc till I see the Chiro.

Ageing is exactly how we see it. No matter how someone sees the elements of their own ageing, they're right.

Quirky, I was very athletic when I was younger and don't have a problem with not being able to do all those things I could do. I'm far too practical nowadays to need to walk on my hands lol. I can still do cartwheels though. Not roundoffs lol!
Although I am very grateful I was athletic because my muscle structure has supported the injuries really well.

I can look back and feel great that I COULD do those things. I can still do so much.

I'm SO GRATEFUL I've been able to live this long!!
Most of my elders live(d) well into their 90s or passed 100 in good health, still living independently. My Nana could beat us in a walk around the park in her 90s LOL!

I agree Hanna, it's very sad to see ppl remaining stagnant and giving up.
I would never argue with them, they're making their own choices.

This year we have another School Reunion, we have them every year but this one's a big one. Our old school friends usually travel back from overseas for the big ones. I doubt this will happen this year but it is what it is.

I'm going to have an "After Party" back at my house lol! Even a few having a sleep over, ALMOST like we used to do lol. Why not.

Love EM

[Hanna3]

Hi Em!

That's so interesting about the hypnotherapy, because I've noticed when I'm busy talking to someone or playing music I don't notice the pain - my mind must be so busy on something else (talking, making music) that I forget about the pain? How does it work I wonder, but amazingly it does... once I didn't feel the pain while I was enjoying chatting to someone, then felt it again as soon as I got home! This afternoon I was busy chatting to someone interesting for nearly two hours and I didn't think about the pain once... now I'm home and it's bothering me!

Yes I used to be very physically active - dancing, cycling, tai chi, swimming - I'm going to go back to lap swimming regularly I think it's one of the best things we can do!

It must be strange to go to school reunions and see everyone looking older - I don't know how I would find that, I guess you all have a laugh!

Nice to see all the talk going on here isn't it? We "oldies" need to give each other lots of support and laughs!!

[Elizabeth CP]

My dad was a great example of 'life begins at 60' which I would benefit from following.

He had always been an active loving person but was forced to stop work & lost his licence at 59 due to serious health issues. By this time my mum who was 8 years younger was struggling to walk without support & ended up in a wheelchair soon after. Certainly not what he wanted. He would have been justified in just giving up.

Instead his old life was gone but he started his new life doing the things he enjoyed or mattered to him. He loved his garden and spent hours each day digging planting moving rocks. He loved woodwork so continued renovating the house (even though legally blind) He took up painting classes, swimming/hydrotherapy with mum as well as engaging in other community activities. He loved his grandkids so took every opportunity to spend time with them.

What this shows is the importance of accepting what can't be changed including health issues but choosing to make the most of what we can do.

I need to remember his example and use it to motivate me to change so I can embrace what I can do rather than wish things were better.

[geoff]

Hello Every One, this is a question that will keep being asked for years, imagine when we were 10 years old, our grandparents at 60 seemed to be old, we had to open the jars, the bottles of lemonade for them believing this will never happen to me, well yes, that's exactly what I have to get my son to do and say one day you'll be like this, and at their age, they realise it will happen.

Before we retire, we promise ourselves that we'll travel, create this or that and take up painting or perhaps furniture restoring, but once the day comes, what do we do, nothing except reading the morning paper, have an afternoon nap and then it's dinner time, the days gone, but what we forget is that one door closes another one opens.

So each month, or year when we're asked this, it could radically change, physically, perhaps no it doesn't get better, but our personality has matured, maybe our humour has increased, without considering any mental issues, or at times people have lost their humour and do become sour, with justification.

I remember when I was 30, I often heard the same, life begins at 30, then the same at 40, again at 50 and now at 66 the physical transformation is different, and certainly can't run 100 m, but maturity from all our different experiences have enhanced our personality, positively or unfortunately negatively.

My best.

Geoff.

[Moonstruck]

Hello everyone...well this thread seems to have a new injection of life suddenly...a few of you mentioned the importance of "keeping moving, being active" and I couldn't agree more...which is what I've made sure I include as I get older....the point I was trying to emphasise (perhaps I didn't get it across properly) is that is the precise reason I am feeling so hopeless at the moment...it's because I can't....be active, keep moving as I used to which I know is so important....because I've had an injury which added to the usual joint pains of the 60s and older, has made it impossible for me to even walk around the block.

I have no reason to think it will get any better...in fact it will obviously get worse as I get older. There is no joy or relaxation in taking a leisurely stroll along the beach if it results in agonising "baby steps" just to get home again! Yes of course I want to be active. I'd like to take a walk right now...as I write this....but it is an effort just going from room to room...one day recently I had to hold onto the walls as I went, breaking down in tears with the frustration.

If I have to curtail my beloved activity, the thing that brings me joy and fulfillment, or give it up because my body can no longer cope.....I do not want to go on at all........

[Sophie_M]

Hi Moonstruck,

Thank you for so honestly sharing with us what you are feeling. We're sorry that you are physically limited right now and can't do the the activities you so enjoy without pain. It's clearly causing you a degree of mental distress. This is why our Support Service is reaching out to you via email as we are worried about you.

Please keep reaching out here and letting us know how you are getting on whenever you feel up to it. In the meantime, you might find the stories on this page to be of some comfort: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/older-people/starts-at-sixty

[Hanna3]

Hi Moon

This is really tough. I knew an elderly man a while ago - I used to walk past his house and he was always out gardening, especially his roses which he was very proud of... later he got to the stage where he could no longer garden... he was anguished because he could no longer take care of his roses, and enjoy being outdoors working in the yard.

There's no easy way out of these things is there...there was an episode of One Plus One on the ABC recently about a young footballer who sustained a severe spinal injury and could no longer walk - it took him ages to come to terms with it...

I wish I could help... I think we find a way to manage these things but there's no easy route...I'm losing quite a lot of my eyesight... and I just have to keep adjusting... and I think you have to let yourself grieve for what is lost.. and know it's OK to get angry and frustrated and upset at times too, and it's OK to have a cry and kick something (not the cat).. and somehow we go on. It takes courage, a lot of it. Life can be hard. It sucks sometimes!

[Moonstruck]

Is this an achievement for me? Or am I over dramatising? I went in the ocean yesterday....2 days before I tried to, (it was a big thing just to get dressed and go there, to get my mind around it)..and it was a little more choppy than I expected (usually a safe calm swimming spot) I found myself "afraid" to walk too far in. After decades swimming in this safe spot, here I was...scared of the uneven ground, which being under the water, I could not see!

Perhaps sub consciously I have been carefully watching where I walk, what the ground is like etc since my injury so this sudden unexpected "fear and hesitation" to walk further in spooked me a bit.

So 2 days later I tried again. This time, although very slowly I went in far enough to plunge in and swim and it was gorgeous of course. No pain. No discomfort....wonderful. I had expected "walking out" onto the beach would be scary..but went really really slowly (finally didn't care what others thought of me) probably looked like an old cripple...(but perhaps I am just that, for now at least).....I can hardly wait to return. I found just being by the ocean afterwards sort of healing for me....I could forget the injury just for a little while, floating in the waves.