Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Doolhof]

I am really liking myself right now.

I managed to drive myself to the beach. I packed a picnic lunch. I enjoyed a walk on the beach had my lunch, wandered around the region and looked at some pretty gardens.

There are some days this is just not possible due to my mental health. That is okay. On those days I need to accept what I can manage and be thankful for all I achieve.

Yesterday I listened to a You Tube chat about depression. It talked about "Rediscovering self esteem, hope for the future and perception regarding the meaning of life."

It didn't go into detail explaining how to achieve any of this. Just pondering these thoughts has been helpful.

Cheers all from Dools

[blondguy]

Hi Dools

Thankyou for your good vibrations

You have always been a survivor and always speak from the heart....I understand where you are coming from when we have days when its not possible having a tired mind..I get it

my kindest always

Paul

[Doolhof]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your kind words.

Life has been quite a ride this last year or so. I'm in a position at present where I am more accepting of my depression and PTSD issues.

While my mind is in a slightly calmer state I am trying to put actions into practise, considering all those things I have read about, the psychologist has suggested and people here have recommended or commented on to help along the journey of mental health.

Yesterday I was going to contact my sister and cancel our afternoon together. Thankfully I didn't. I pushed through my thoughts and feelings.

We walked in a pine forest, I gather a bag of pine cones to put near the Christmas tree in a basket. Her daughter came to their home later so we had a lovely catch up.

I drove home thankful I had the strength and will power to get out of the house. I know there will be days where this is not possible or where it will feel really impossible. I can remind myself there are times it can be done!

Due to my efforts this week I feel better about going to work today.

May you all have moments where you are really pleased with yourself, even if it is because you got up out of bed!

[Guest_1584]

Thanks for explaining that dool.

lt's helped me get my head around the way my daughter might be feeling and struggling of late and given me a better understanding. Proud of you for pushing yourself out the door to your sisters, well done good for you.

Do you think us nudging and encouraging my d can help , or make it worse or feel like pressure ? She hardly leaves the house or her room lately , this has been going on 4mths now. She does go to a friends every wk or two , but then it's back to her room. She's had trouble with shops too and just going out in general.

rx

[Doolhof]

Hi rx,

For everyone it is different. Sometimes all I need is for someone else to make the decisions for me. I have days when my mind can just not seem to activate appropriately me get outside the door! It is like a massive imaginative barrier is there and I don't know how to push through it.

Some days my husband says to me "We are going out" and I just follow. Once I am in the car and down the road I am okay. By myself I might not have been able to get out the house. Some days I drive down the road, turn around and come home again.

So days I manage really well. Some days I feel like yelling and screaming and busting down the doors on my way out.

With your D maybe try something small. What does she like to do? I understand Covid restrictions can be a bother as well.

Is it possible to go for a drive somewhere different? Take a picnic. Go for a walk. Visit a dog park even if you don't have a dog, watching them can be entertaining.

Maybe go to the shops for only a few things and reward her with a special treat, her favourite food or drink?

Do you have a garden? Can you have a meal out there?

I don't know if any of this might help. Some days it is tough to get out. Encouragement might work, be prepared to back down as well, fighting against a mind that wants you to stay put when others hope you can move is daunting. It can be frightening. Getting unstuck and motivated takes effort.

All the best to both of you! Cheers from Dools

[Guest_1584]

Thanks very much dools

Yeah we do try all of that and as long as l'm taking her , driving and doing it she'll tag along usually , if it interests her at all. lt's getting her out of her own accord or even up around the house and helping out a bit where the road blocks are. Been getting a bit pissed too lately and losing patience which we know is probably the worst thing and pressure. Sometimes though you've got so much to do but yet a perfectly fit and very clever 20yrd's in bed in her room all day , so wrong. Sometimes you ask yourself is this just laziness , or real . Bit of ea l think personally , but l might be wrong. When she's good she's very active and full of energy.

l dunno. rx

[white knight]

Hi Dools,

I've mentioned many times over 9 years about a man called Prem Rawat or Maharaji. His youtube videos have helped me since 1988. I suggest you play the following while you walk on the beach. They will uplift you.

I would say Maharaji has been the main reason for my confidence development

https://youtu.be/BhrtbBrMQ1Y

https://youtu.be/MpfuMFsBgNk

He has dozens more on youtube

TonyWK

[Doolhof]

Hi TonyWK,

Thanks for these. I will have a listen.

Cheers from Dools

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone....

Dools, On Tony’s suggestion a few years ago I listen to Maharaji at times....He is a great inspirational man...

If we dislike ourselves it only closes our mind to depression and our dislike and depressive thoughts begin to grow out of control then turns to darkness.....but if we can find that we can like ourselves, even a little, it opens our minds to so much more...and that darkness is swamped out by a beautiful bright light...with self care, kindness, compassion not only to ourselves but to everyone that crosses our path...

Caring hugs...with kind thoughts..

Grandy..

[quirkywords]

Grand

Your words really spoke to me.

...but if we can find that we can like ourselves, even a little, it opens our minds to so much more...and that darkness is swamped out by a beautiful bright light...with self care, kindness, compassion not only to ourselves but to everyone that crosses our path...

Dools I really found your words so helpful and realistic.

Some days it is tough to get out. Encouragement might work, be prepared to back down as well, fighting against a mind that wants you to stay put when others hope you can move is daunting. It can be frightening. Getting unstuck and motivated takes effort.

Paul, thanks for the way you keep on top of this thread and highlight comments and make helpful summaries as well as mike everyone who posts and reads feel importnat.

Your compassion is much appreciated. Keeping a thread on topic and still going for such a long time takes much dedication.