Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[blondguy]

Hey Quirky....new posters are always welcome to post too!

you have been a huge support on this thread and providing your life experience on many other threads too

It is difficult to 'like ourselves' during a global pandemic yet if this thread provides HOPE then it has achieved its objective

Nice1 Quirky

[ecomama]

Hello dear forum friends, new and "old" lol

I'm so humbled to read how deeply everyone's given thought to if they like themselves in this moment or not.

It actually hurts me inside to read when others put themselves down and call themselves names. I don't want anyone to worry about my reaction (lol) or add more to their "pile", just to know that as a friend, I wouldn't call you those names.

I don't see those things in the people here.
The kindness and understanding. The care and support offered is second to none.
I SEE how valuable each of you are!
I wish you could see this in yourself!

The beautiful qualities each of you have SHINE so brightly!

Yes I like myself.
I can love and can forgive.
I'm so grateful and am grateful I can experience gratitude!
It's a FREEING experience to have gratitude.

Sometimes the only reason we CAN think one way is that the other way doesn't help us or support us in our healing journeys. If it doesn't work for us, we are allowed to discard.

Loving ourselves DOES work.
Grandy pointed to self-care and it's so true!
These little things we do for ourselves can make us smile or laugh or simply enjoy life in that moment.

The "true you" is bursting to come out in your real life and to shine so brightly. No need to cover it up in other ppls bs.

Love to you all in your healing journeys - we're all on it!
EMxxxx

[CMF]

Do I hate myself or just hate life at the moment.

Can't please anyone, starting to dislike humans and people in my life. Selfish, insensitive, uncaring.

Just don't care anymore.

[smallwolf]

Hi CMF.

It depends on what you hate the other person for. And rather than HATE, perhaps INTENSE DISLIKE or ANGER. Or is it their actions or behaviour you are HATING?

I think though that hating life long enough could make you hate yourself.

[Guest_1584]

Know what you mean in one sense.'

With me l actually don't mind myself it's not that , l'm proud of being weird and odd and different and l like it in the few people l even meet that are different too , l've always loved different in anything not only people. l don't fit normal nor want to fit normal , never have, whatever normal is.

But nah , l think l tried to talk about it here somewhere way back but lt's about life for me and for me that reflects back to me and so in that way , if life isn't where l want it , and it rarely is , then l sort of take the blame l suppose you could say.

Unfortunately it hasn't been where l want it for quite awhile now , and so l suppose l haven't been either. Mind you , it has been offered to me on platter , so of course l only have myself to blame.

rx

[blondguy]

Hi everyone....new and current members are always welcome to post their thoughts!

Hey EM..thankyou for your helpful post...I have attached part of it below...Nice1

EM mentioned 'Loving ourselves DOES work. Grandy pointed to self-care and it's so true!
These little things we do for ourselves can make us smile or laugh or simply enjoy life in that moment.

Hey CMF.....I am sorry that you felt so bad when you posted on the 4th. I hope you are doing better. Please dont hate yourself as the 'H' word takes so much of our energy..even to write it. You are and always have been a kind person. This is a difficult and trying period we are going through...I understand where you are coming from x

Hey Tim....always great to have your input here and across the forums. Thankyou for the support you provided to CMF. Just for myself I avoid using the 'H' word as it can do more harm than good

Have a good weekend everyone 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[white knight]

Hi CMF

You're a veteran here, as admired and appreciated as the best contributors. We were about you. Caring for yourself is more a priority.

When I went through a cycle of despising myself I chose to reset my life. I didn't shut down but i did step back, reassess my life in every way and after a couple of weeks I was ready to get back to normal with several changes that made all the difference.

• I used tokens as a guide to who cared about me and who didn't. If someone even simply asked how I was traveling that would be enough care for me.
• Distance myself from those without any hint of care in their bones
• Seek out more empathetic personalities.
• Speak to that person in the mirror "I am lovable, I am a good person..."
• "Don't think...do!" Famous words from an AFL coach.
• Enjoy the new journey of the above. In the right frame of mind it can be exciting

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

CMF

I hope you are feeling better than when you posted last. It is good you can be honest here and explain how you feel.

[ecomama]

Hey CMF, you're not alone in that thinking!

It occurs to me quite often in fact. There ARE so many uncaring and insensitive people around, it's horrible!

I will sound so blunt when I say what I do in these cases, identify WHO those ppl are and go No Contact or as low contact as I can if it's extended family or ppl at work.

I call it the 3%er Rule - with this and other things.
Meaning around 97% of ppl I meet will probably NOT be people I would choose to have in my life.

That's ok. Horses for courses.

Like so many others here on the forums, I also hope you're feeling much better.

You are SO WORTHY of having wonderful caring people in your life!
People just like YOU.

Hugs.

To respect the topic, sure I like myself! I'm freaking awesome hahaha. Only joking folks.

Perhaps it's because I really don't care about other people's judgments of me (my own standards of myself are high enough lol!).

Most ppl are nasty and unhappy with their lives when they have to spout criticism ie toxic or abusive ppl, so I don't care to hear it.
In fact they don't have the credibility to make judgment calls.... "walk a mile in my shoes.." an' all.

I listen to feedback from my supervisors at work though. All good there.

Remember when someone is pointing their finger at YOU, they've got 3 fingers pointing back at themselves.
Ppl like this could take their own advice 3 x more. 😉

Love EMxxxx

[Guest_1584]

Hiya cm and sorry l forgot in the end to reply in my last post.

But people here are right and you've steadfast supported so many around here for so long, no two ways about it and l know it's been hugely appreciated, myself included. And l know it would be around you and in life , at home, and work too , even if it's not exactly showing at times.

l hope your feeling better.

rx