Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[blondguy]

Hey Kitty and EM!

Thankyou for your super helpful support here and across the forums 😊

Without being overly complicated...just for myself.."When I see the ceiling in the morning then I know its going to be a good day"

I hope that was somewhat helpful? It can be a somewhat challenging topic yet if we didnt 'Like Ourselves' then we wouldnt have the will to self heal/post and help support others as well as you do!

New posters are always welcome to say hello too

Hugs always

Paul

Volunteer

[quirkywords]

Paul and everyone reading, 

i have found this thread again and I like reading the posts.

I now reframe the question to can I live with myself and yes on most days I can and I can be my friend. I think I have a come a long way and I do go back at times.

At the moment I am unwell with covid but I feel good about myself.

Thanks Paul for this thread. 
quirky 

[ecomama]

Oh dear quirky, get better soon! 

I like what you wrote, esp the part about being a good friend to yourself. That's nice. 😍

It's probably more important than ever to be kind to yourself when you're feeling unwell, physically or otherwise. 

I've been reading an interesting book about Boundaries over the weekend (lol obviously my life long lessons).. 
being able to forgive myself for whatever "wrong" paths I took or "revolting" relationships I entered into without realising. 

Most of this was because I have so much empathy. 
I don't need to forgive myself for having empathy lol. 

It's more about allowing others to walk all over me... it was usually a slow process, but not exiting damaging relationships - even friendships. 
I have exited of course, but now I'm going Low Contact with others and I feel more PEACE in my life. 

In answer to Do I like myself? 
Sure. 
I'm ALWAYS a work in progress. It's really cool to be saying this in my older years. 

I'm also pretty proud of myself, for about the first time in my life.
Why? The answer is why not lol. 

Love EMxxxx

[blondguy]

Hey Everyone...new posters are always welcome to join in too!

Hi Quirky...Your ongoing support is welcome and thankyou....I hope your symptoms are not  overly severe and I do hope you feel better soon. You have been through a tough couple of years Quirky (Hugs always) 

Hi EM....You are very proactive on the forums and thankyou!  Thankyou for your great post..including..

EM mentioned " I don't need to forgive myself for having empathy" I love this EM....a lot! 

my kindest always

Paul

[ecomama]

Hey Everyone...new posters are always welcome to join in too!

Hey Paul, just having a read back on this awesome thread you created, then saw your comment... "When I see the ceiling in the morning then I know its going to be a good day"

That's super positive lol. Love it really. 

My Counsellor has a LOT of input along my journey towards better mental health, just saying SHE'S AWESOME... and I've decided along with her to take more steps including being brave with my life. 

So when my feet hit the floor in the morning, I'm deciding to be BRAVE with my life today. 

You won't believe it BUT she advised me "to find my own voice" lol... I don't speak what I need to in my circles. 
I recognise the absolute NEED for gentleness within my own family, it's not them I need to change dynamics with. 
It's at work. Perhaps with some friendships too, IDK lol... 

My point here is that when we set goals, and small goals are GOOD GOALS... then we can feel like we've achieved progress within ourselves. 
I don't care if anyone else notices, it's important to ME that I make progress. 

Sure I like myself, just to answer the thread's question. 
I'm doing well and being brave with my life. 

Onwards and UPwards people! 
Love EM

[quirkywords]

EM 

I have always commented on how helpful Pauls thread is.

Now I am having post covid fatigue but still doing things just slower and for short periods. 

I get frustrated but I like the way i keep trying even when tired. 

I use the word baby steps because goals put pressure on me but I know others find the word goals useful.

[ecomama]

Dear quirky, I'm sorry you're dealing with post covid fatigue, ughhh, it's a thing though isn't it? 
My eldest daughter suffered with this for months afterwards, possibly 4 months? 
It hit her hard as it's hit you hard too. 

Baby steps is a gentle way of putting it, nice one quirky! 

I like "goals" but it's about whatever suits the person on their journey. 
I have goals and aims but my To-Do Lists I've had to say, yeah whenever I get to them is fine by me. 

Today I was brave at work, a number of times actually and it really paid off. 
It suits me better to be brave, I'm liking it lol. 

I'm actually going WAYYYY way out on a limb with a new program I'm introducing at work lol. 
Sometimes, just by listening to that inner voice, we can be guided in really amazing ways. 
As happenchance has it, my way out there program COINCIDED with huge push by my Dept with Aboriginal Culture and I'm rapt about this! 

Happy days. 
Yes I like myself. 

Love EMxxxx

[ecomama]

Hello BBers, everyone is welcome to post here, yes that means YOU too! 

I've been listening to some brilliant podcasts, YT clips this week as per lol. 

I found a helpful question to ask myself: "What is the next BEST step I can take?"

Sounds simple but so profound.

This question led me to another question: "What would I do right now if I loved myself?"
Then did exactly THAT. 
Over and over again, day and night. 

Incredible things happened this week, too many to list! 
A paradigm shift occurred that was waiting to be awakened all along. 

In answer to the question: "Do you like yourself?"... well since LOVE is a VERB as well, I'm LOVING myself. 

It feels AWESOME. 

Love EMxxxx

[quirkywords]

I sometimes ask myself why can’t I like  and care for myself the way I like and care for  my  family and friends.  
It is simple but revealing. We all will be kind to our friends accept their struggles but with ourselves we can be critical and demanding. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone….🤗,

Quirky you are an amazing person, who helps so many people on these forums…You really have plenty to like about yourself….Self criticism is really easy for us to give to ourselves….I do that a lot…but their are times I can accept my flaws and like myself for who I am or what I do….I think we all have a love/hate relationship with ourselves, but it’s very important to acknowledge all the good things we do… reflect on those only….and give a little love and care back to you…..

We have only ourselves that can really know what we need to be happy or content…if that means sitting outside, or having that chocolate that you’ve been eyeing off all day…then do it, have it….a little bit of an effort to giving self care for ourselves goes a really long way…in the journey to liking ourselves…..We are all worth that effort…

Well done ecomama….I also do like myself today…Why?, I think it’s because I have achieved so much over this week…

Sending love, hugs and care to everyone…

Grandy…💕🦋🤗..

I do like myself today…