Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[mmMekitty]

Thanks Elizabeth.

I like the way you have expanded on my thinking, as if you could see my own thoughts more clearly than I do! 😺

What I particularly like about accepting 'good enough' is that it permits me to be less harsh on myself than I otherwise might be.

Imagine some competition, possibly athletic.

I hope I will not take even last place as a failure just because I came last, but as a success for achieving getting myself to the competition & attempting to finish so even not finishing would not mean a total failure.

I could say, I put in time & effort, made the attempt, (which does not have to be my last attempt), & maybe did something I have never done before.

I want to think what I am doing is worth the effort, is worth putting my body & mind to, no matter what the end result is. There will be successes during the attempt. That will be 'good enough'.

Everything I gain during the attempt is more than what I started with. Need I ask more? I might want to ask more, but do I need to?

Warmly, ❤️❤️❤️❤️

mmMekitty

&

I keep thinking, the way Olympic GOLD is sold to us as the only important goal is so disparaging of any other achievements.

[Moonstruck]

Hello....being okay or good enough is perfect in itself...

You are perfect just as you are..that doesn't stop you from flourishing and growing beautifully in anything you choose to work on within yourself...you are enough already though....so relax. Xx

[Elizabeth CP]

Totally agree. the way Olympic GOLD is sold to us as the only important goal is so disparaging of any other achievements. I remember years ago going to a swimming competition for the youth. One of the boys had very serious health issues but he still swam. He was far slower than everyone else but everyone there watched him with admiration for his courage to have a go and to persist even when it was so hard. He acheived far more by overcoming his challenges than any of the other boys who were healthy.

The same principle can apply for our MH challenges.

[quirkywords]

Great discussion in last several days.
i don’t like the word perfect because as humans we all have some flaws.

I think the one of the best things one can hear is I like you just the way you are.
I may like the way I am, but there is always pressure and subtle suggestion tha o e needs to

relax more

eat less,

move more

read more,

be more patient

etc etc.

So how does one like one’s self just as one is while we are encouraged to change and learn more and change our thinking and to try new things.

[Guest_1584]

Thanks for that smallwolf and for the thoughts of others .

l do hope no one round here is trying to be perfect l'd feel sorry for almost anyone putting themselves under any such expectations.

rx

[Moonstruck]

Dear Quirky....I think a few may have misunderstood my lyrical musings..sorry bout that....no suggestions, no pressure, no advice...just "be". That's enough. No striving for "perfection"...you already are.

[HamSolo01]

"Do you like yourself?"

Not today I don't sadly, But days change 🙂

[mmMekitty]

Hello HanSolo,

Are there some aspect of yourself you like right now?

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone......🤗.

Hans it’s so sad to read that you didn’t like yourself yesterday....

your words “Days change” are so true...

Om Tuesday at work...I was bombarded by questions about this and that and it totally confused me..and for that day I felt so useless that I found myself calling me all sorts of degrading names...that day I think I disliked myself so much....

Now come today...I do like myself, I’ve not done nothing at all much today, but do feel much more better towards myself....and I’m sitting out side, with a hot milo in the fresh crisp winters day, all rugged up and just watching the clouds drifting passed my home....It’s one of the self care things I do for myself...Have you done anything today to care for yourself?....I do hope so....your always helping others here with your gentle words of inspiration and encouragement....now today is the day to give some of that back to you....

I think circumstances, that we find ourselves in..does have a lot to do about liking ourselves....What do you wonderful BB community think about this....If your having a good day..do you like yourself more, then if your having a bad day?

I would love to hear if you think circumstances do have anything to us liking or not liking ourselves...

Please everyone...be gentle and kind to yourselves today...and give yourselves some self care...it’s really really important to do...after all we are all we really have, so we need to care for ourselves the very best we can....

Kind thoughts with my care..

Grandy..

[Moonstruck]

Hi dear Grandy.....such a lovely friend you are to me..

To answer one of your questions...re "if I'm having a good day, or a bad day...does it affect my liking myself?"

No, it doesn't affect my liking of myself at all. "whether you are shining like a star, or beaten down to your knees in the dirt, you are strong, beautiful, and brave... You got this!! "

xx