DNA what you cant change

[white knight]

We often get members here that seek change. Maybe they dont like themselves. Maybe they are told by someone they are useless. Maybe they dont fit in?

So sooner or later we try to change but how much of us is changable?. If we know what is changable we'd concentrate on that and not waste our time on the other stuff -correct?

Some athletes or rulers say "you can do anything you put your mind to". Its great to be positive but not healthy to be unrealistic. I was 92 kg at 17yo. I think I'd be disappointed if my goal was to be a jockey.

So here is my take on that-

Changable to an achievable level

- some mental illnesses like mild anxiety

- traits like punctuality, over reaction, dishonesty, criminal intent, nastiness, lifestyle, addictions, goals and challenges, negative to positive thinking, stopping intrusive thoughts. Fitness, eating habits.

Personality changes that take a long time with great effort

- worry, depression, anger, some drug addictions, alcoholism, narcissism, effect of cults, violence, hoarding, deceipt, denial, commitment, cruelty to animals, grandeur, greed, reactions, foot in mouth, careers, commitment,

DNA rarely if ever changable

- vulnerability, some serious mental illnesses like autism, BPD, bipolar, schizophrenia..., humour, observations, sensitivity, emotions, physical abilities, natural talents, kindness, grief processes,

So, if we are bipolar we'd be wasting our time and energy roaming the world finding a cure. Better to seek out up to date medical treatment to reduce the symptoms as well as assistance from others, group therapy and peer groups like here on this forum.

With DNA areas we must find acceptance by making that our goal. Time and again I read about "I've had it with this bipolar" yet it isnt curable. Thats ok if its just venting but as a person with bipolar that has tried for many years to accept my illness and to achieve my goal of being as well and as stable as possible with this disorder...Im pleased because I also know that improvement beyond this is unlikely. There are limits to what we can achieve.

DNA. Its inground in our makeup. Its our nature.

Google

Topic: the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

Tony WK

[ecomama]

Dear TonyWK

Thankyou for sharing more of your back story. I'm really grateful for people like you who show courage and determination in their journey to wellness and in sharing - it's beautiful generosity. I want you to know that if I APPRECIATE you then countless others do too. It makes the world of difference to people like me.
Thankyou.

Thankyou for your kind words about my parenting. All my children are their own gift to me every minute of every day.

I popped in to say that I RESPECT everybody's story and everybody's journey.

There is no right or wrong way to get to "wellness". If there was just ONE right way then we'd have this all licked!

We are all individuals.
We all have different needs beyond the basics of food, shelter, love.

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother.

I'm so grateful you made it through to be here with us.

Love EM

[white knight]

Hi EM

Thankyou for your soft words of appreciation.

Ive not read anyone so proactive on this forum before. Your research is astonishing and your heart is in the right place, Neerja is a good example.

One of the transformations I made was inner peace ignited by the guru Prem Rawat MAHARAJI, that I often recommend here. I’m still watching his YouTube videos (at first they were cassette tapes in 1987). At first his video “sunset” struck a cord then “appreciate” hit me between the eyes with what I lacked in my attitude.

Suddenly I had new found humility I’d never felt before. So my journey might have tragic events but I’ve been enlightened by other developments sparked by my own motivation and ideas. Such insights I think can offer others options in how to tackle their mental illness.

TonyWK

[ecomama]

Hi TonyWK

It's wonderful having someone on the forums with such a wealth of experience, advice and so eloquently spoken lol. It's almost poetry just reading your posts! lol.

I completely agree with what you're saying about Meditation.

Coming from a deeply religious childhood my benefit (lol) was learning Prayer. I've not stopped! lol.

From my 20s I attended lots of beautiful Meditation classes. omg pure bliss. The city I lived in in my 20s was FULL of them. I loved the ones given by Buddhist monks and still go to workshops whenever I can. It was serendipitous that I was posted there after my training.

We have a beautiful, totally PROACTIVE Reverend at a local church here (not mine but mine are gorgeous too lol), and he INVITES Buddhist monks to run workshops at his Church! How wonderful. I love that.

To find that inner calm.
To be 'at peace'.
To have those blissful moments when time stands still.

I know so many people say "I can't meditate" but I think they don't realise that it takes PRACTICE. Sometimes years of it. That's ok!

You've shared a wonderful tool for us all to use.

There are lots of apps that are so fun! I LOVE Smiling Minds. I used this during Covid. ALL of my children including myself were "essential workers". Then our shifts / workloads quadrupled. I'm not kidding you. Our colleagues were self isolating and not going to work.

Some of my children's clients would have died had they not attended to them. There was NO ONE ELSE.

It was so stressful. I had to use Smiling Minds lol. In fact I used EVERYTHING I could in that time.
That's how I ended up here on the forums.

And THANK GOD / The Universe for that.

Love EM

[white knight]

Hi Ecomama

I'm sorry that I missed your reply from some time ago. However it is always relevant to read back on threads and find the "one that got away".

I'm wondering how you are going with shift work. Also how are you coping.?

This poem I wrote immediately after a meditation session.

DRAGONS OF MY HEART

I walked like a moping shuffling unicorn
As men like me do when a woman’s scorned
And blades poke through my toes of peeping grass
I don’t know what to do till this agony will pass

But my head rises as I spot colour of gold
Colour I wont get tired of as I grow old
So many colours I cant tell my favourites apart
Snap dragons we planted… the dragons of my heart

And so it goes I reflect upon my soul
This is where our love will never dissolve
She is my friend of a lifetime and no foe behold
Beyond the horizons of chatter when I grow old

Unicorn sprints among daisies of white
Mane flows freely against sunrise so bright
And the sun shone through tearing leaves apart
Nothing compares with the dragons of my heart

I pick a dragon or three of ebony cream
My ticket to my loved one harmony redeemed
Snapping dragons presented with a shaking hand
Everybody knows and would forever understand

Spirits rising when goosebumps misbehave
Someone walked over my grave,
And roots bathed by my cradled tears
Flowers blooming year after year

Horses galloping prancing unicorns
Like eagles gliding through as spirit reborn
And the sun shone through tearing leaves apart
Nothing compares to the dragons of my heart….

TonyWK