COPING STRATEGIES

[startingnew]

hi everyone

so ive only been on these forums for about 2 months now and have come to realise alot of people are after coping strategies.

i have quite alot of coping strategies- not all of them work on me but i thought id share what i have and what i think of as it goes along and maybe itll help others.

please feel free to add your own coping strategies too 🙂 the more the better 🙂

[startingnew]

im really glad your finding these useful and thank you for adding your input in as well

[startingnew]

GRIEF COPING STRATEGIES

Take time out. In many ways, the experience of grief is similar to recovery from a serious illness; some days will be darker, and some will be brighter. Recognize your limits, and separate the things that must be done from those that can wait. Don't worry about keeping up with your usual schedule. If you have to cancel or reschedule commitments, people will understand.

Avoid making major decisions. Grief can cloud your judgment and make it difficult to see beyond the pain you're feeling at the moment. Impulsive decisions – to move or change jobs, for example – can have far-reaching implications for which you may be unprepared. If you must make an important decision, discuss your options with someone you trust, such as a friend or financial advisor.

Talk. Painful feelings held inside are like an infection festering in a wound – they need to come out in order for you to heal. When friends ask how they can help, ask them to just be with you and listen. Tell them how important it is for you to be able to express what you're thinking and feeling. If you think you need more than the support of your friends, consider talking with a professional counselor.

Express yourself creatively. Writing is another excellent way to express yourself. Try keeping a journal or writing letters, whether you send them or not. When words won't come, artistic outlets like painting or sculpting can help you to communicate what's in your heart and soul. Creative expression can bring clarity to the turmoil you feel and insight into feelings you weren't aware of

Have fun. Grieving is difficult, but it doesn't mean you have to feel bad all the time; in fact, it's important to take a break from focusing on your grief. Have fun when you can, whether it's reading a good book, watching a movie, playing cards, or resuming other activities you enjoyed before your loss. Don't feel guilty about it.

[startingnew]

GRIEF STRATEGIES PT2

Take care of your physical health. Grief takes a physical toll as well as an emotional toll. Rest, exercise, and proper nutrition are essential to healing. Counteract a poor appetite by eating small amounts of healthy foods rather than large meals. If you have difficulty sleeping, try taking brief naps or just putting your feet up and relaxing whenever you can. And while you may not be motivated to exercise, just taking a brief walk now and then can lift your spirits and help you to sleep at night.

Avoid using chemicals to numb your feelings. A glass of wine can be good for the soul and help to settle jangled nerves, but overdoing it can bring a host of new problems. Attempting to numb your feelings with alcohol, illicit drugs, or prescription medications will only prolong the pain. Eventually, one way or the other, you must come to terms with your grief.

Plan ahead for special occasions. Anniversaries and holidays can be stressful times when you've lost someone you love, and especially so in the first year or two. Talk with family members about your concerns; this may be a good time to introduce new traditions to mark special occasions.

Reach out. In the beginning, grief may be so intense that you just want to withdraw or isolate. Soon, though, you'll be ready to ease back into social contact. Make a date with an old friend, or invite a neighbor to lunch. Or try volunteering with your church or favorite charity – you'll make new social contacts while you help others, and you'll feel good about yourself.

[startingnew]

GRIEF STRATEGIES PT 3

allow yourself to experience the pain of loss
As much as it hurts, it is natural and normal to grieve. Sometimes people feel guilty about the way they feel, thinking they should “get over it.” Let yourself grieve and fully experience the feelings of grief, such as shock, sadness, anger, and loneliness. Don't judge yourself for having feelings that seem wrong. Let yourself react in ways that help you process and release intense emotions, even if it means crying or screaming. Some people set aside private time every day to think about their loved one and experience the feelings that arise. This approach is especially helpful for those who have difficulty showing their feelings to others.

Engage in physical activity. Find a physical activity—such as walking, running, or riding a bicycle—to help you cope with your feelings. Exercise and activities like hitting a punching bag or hitting golf balls at a driving range may help release frustration or anger.

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the things you regret doing or saying to your loved one. Also forgive yourself for the things you regret not doing or saying. Letting go of regrets and the pain that comes with them will allow you to focus on the good memories.

Be patient. Allow your grief to unfold at a pace that is natural for you. Don't judge or criticize yourself for not coping as well or healing as quickly as you think you should. Each person needs to grieve in ways that feel right.

Take care of yourself. It is important to attend to your physical needs during the period after a loss. Grieving is both emotionally and physically exhausting. Care for yourself by trying to get enough sleep at night, eating a healthy diet, and exercising.

Join a support group. Support groups offer you the chance to talk with others who have similar experiences. Group members can offer encouragement, comfort, guidance, and practical suggestions. And, they can reassure you that your experiences are normal. You may want to join a general loss support group. Or, you may prefer a group that is specific to your situation, such as a group for those who have lost a spouse to cancer.

[startingnew]

DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY STRATEGIES

Engage in physical activity. Find a physical activity—such as walking, running, or riding a bicycle—to help you cope with your feelings. Exercise and activities like hitting a punching bag or hitting golf balls at a driving range may help release frustration or anger.

Maintain a routine. Keeping a basic routine of daily activities helps you structure your time and keeps you connected to familiar people and places. If possible, avoid making major decisions, such as changing jobs or moving within the first year after a loss. This will help you maintain a sense of normalcy and security and lessen additional stress.

Stay in touch
Don't withdraw from life. Socialising can improve your mood. Keeping in touch with friends and family means you have someone to talk to when you feel low.

try to eat a healthy diet

Some people don't feel like eating when they're depressed and are at risk of becoming underweight. Others find comfort in food and can put on excess weight.
Antidepressants can also affect your appetite.
If you're concerned about weight loss, weight gain or how antidepressants are affecting your appetite, talk to your GP

[Sapphire_]

Thanks for suggesting this post Startingnew. I needed to see this thread. You have put in alot of effort and love. I especially like the toolbox one and am going to put one together. Also am going to start meditation and put mindfulness into practice. I did a mindfulness course so i should atleast utilise what i learnt.

One thing i do try to do when feeling low, anxious, have unwanted thoughts is to go sit under my huge tree and imagine those thoughts floating away on the clouds in the sky or watch the butterflies in my garden carry them away. Sometimes this helps and sometimes it does not.

I was also told about arousal levels. So things like pepermint to bring your arousal levels up if your feeling flat. Weighted blanket to make you feel secure. Splash cold water onto face. Smelling lavender to ground and bring arousal levels down. Im sure google would have more on arousal levels for bringing them up or down. I hope this makes sense...

❤🌼❤🌼

[startingnew]

i am so glad youve found this thread helpful and your willing to try some of these. i really hope they work but if they arent then theres plenty more 🙂

if you find anything your more than welcome to add them in here too

[Sapphire_]

The STOP SKILL:

Stop- Dont just react. Stop. Freeze. Dont move a muscle. Your emotions may try to make you act without thinking. Stay in control.

Take a step back- Take a step back from the situation. Take a break. Let go. Take a deep breath. Do not let your feelings make you act impulsively.

Observe- Notice what is going on inside and outside you. What is the situation? What are your thoughys and feelings? What are others saying or doing?

Proceed midfully- Act with awareness. In deciding what to do, consider your thoughts and feelings, the situation, and other people's thoughts and feelings. Think about your goals. Which actions will make it better or worse?

This is part of my distress tolerance skills and have used very recently. I found it especially good because i am an impulsive person. It helped me to break the situation down and not get overwhelmed to the point i act on my thoughts. I hope this helps.

[Sapphire_]

Cold water on the face.

Dipping your face into cold water and holding your breath for 15-30 seconds causes a "dive response". It tells your brain you are diving under water. It slows the heart rate. Redirects blood flow to the brain and heart. It can help regulate your emotions.

This is useful for a distress tolerance strategy when you are having very strong, distressing emotion. Or when you are having strong urges to engage in dangerous behaviours.
Please be mindful if you have a heart condition as this strategy lowers heart rate.

This also is taken from DBT. (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.)

[startingnew]

thank you heaps for sharing!