Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

[WokingOnIt]

Due to logistics, there will be at least 8 weeks in which I won't be able to see my psychologist. The break started almost 2 weeks ago, with our last session for the year, and next one won't be until after February 1st.

The sessions are fortnightly anyway, but still. 14 days always seems like a long time to me, between sessions, so 8 weeks (or more) is really daunting.

Life is really hard at the moment too. Many things going on at once.

I am trying to put strategies in place to help me cope for the 8 weeks, until I can start therapy again.

I would appreciate any input or ideas.

I had quit drinking alcohol, and had been sober for 120 days (go me!!!) but have since started again as am just not coping with life. This is a problem and I need to quit again, which I HOPE I can do by myself in the next week or so, rather than have to wait until therapy starts again.

I am trying to take care of myself physically but food aversion has kicked in full force (am autistic and struggle with eating food anyway, but worse when I am stressed) and I am really struggling to get enough to eat, as everything seems disgusting and I cannot force myself to eat much.

I am really trying to reach out and interact more in my online spaces (hence this thread...) as I don't have any/many people in real life to talk to. When I feel really bad I isolate myself from even online spaces though.

I need to organise a new support worker, but that is too hard for me to do without support (ha, irony) so I am not sure what to do there.

Anyway! Bit rambling, sorry. Ideas welcome. I might come back and add mine as I think of new ones and use this thread as a record of how I'm doing over the eight weeks...

[WokingOnIt]

I have been struggling with anxiety hugely since I stopped drinking alcohol on the first day of this year. But, I DID do that, and today is Day 15 of sobriety so go me!! This is a good thing and I hope I can keep it up for the rest of the year.

I am anxious about my daughter starting Year One at school this year. Last year was awful for her in school, and the teachers/principal/vice principal etc were all SO dismissive and told me to my face that I was wrong about her struggling, and they refused to accommodate or support her. I believe she is autistic too, like I am, but she doesn't have an official diagnosis yet so no one is taking me seriously. Last year we both had a bit of a mental breakdown in the last few weeks of the school year, and I am so stressed about this year being the same. We won't cope with it, if so. I am doing everything I can to try to make this experience different for my daughter (and therefore for me, because if she is okay, then I don't have to worry about her and spend all my energy trying to advocate for her with an unsupportive school).

Whenever I think about school I feel panicky and physically sick with anxiety. It's awful. I don't know what to do about it except keep pushing myself to do the things that might help (trying to organise an assessment for her through an Occupational Therapist, for example)

[smallwolf]

Going for 15 day is better than 10 and better than 5. Each day you win adds one to the counter.

Belated happy birthday to you as well. And jigsaws make a good distraction also.

Starting school can be stressful for both kids and parents. Maybe if you had a look some resources on places like kids help line you might get some ideas to make it easier for both of you?

[WokingOnIt]

Thanks. 🙂

I really like jigsaw puzzles. A good distraction, as you say, but also it gives me a different perspective on life when you view it as a bit like a jigsaw puzzle... confusing at first, you can't see the whole picture, just a jumble of pieces. Bit by bit if you keep trying, little parts start to make sense. Sometimes you can spend a long time waiting and looking for the right piece before something starts to make sense, and you can spend some quiet time sorting things through without actually making any visible progress... but later, that quiet sorting time will make visible progress easier. Sometimes it is fun to work on alone. Sometimes you can make faster progress with some help. Little by little, day by day... the picture becomes clearer.

[WokingOnIt]

Update....

So the 8 week break turned into a 9 week break, but I got to have my first therapy session for the year last weekend. It was... challenging. New place, new building, new room... having not seen him in all that time.
I don't remember people when I am not with them - not sure if that is an autistic thing or not - but I don't remember faces/voices/experiences, so after some time away from a person I basically have to readjust entirely to what it is like to talk to them.

I had a best friend a while ago who lived very close by, and when I didn't see her for a week or so I would forget entirely that I liked her and it was fun to hang out, and would literally exclaim, "Oh! I just remembered I really like you!" while we were hanging out... which in hindsight could have been taken badly but she was always nice about it.

So, big adjustments. He was not as patient as he could have been. But we worked it out and by the end of the session I was starting to feel kind of okay with it again.

He keeps saying he doesn't want to be a crutch though, which made me think of how hard this nine week break was, and how I had to plan and strategise to cope with it, and if maybe that means I *AM* too reliant (despite still being very guarded and defensive and detached, because trust issues) and if I should work on disconnecting a bit more.

But at the same time, I feel like I can't DO proper therapy (and actually talk and feel and process and so on) if I can't feel safe enough to rely on him and lean into it a little.

Anyway. Still sober, go me. Not self harming. Trying to Do The Adult Things Required, even if they are stressful.

Booked an appointment with my GP a few weeks ago purely to talk about medication, and had a really really good conversation about it and walked out with the exact result I wanted, and feeling very understood and supported. So that was awesome. I am very lucky to have found a good GP.

[WokingOnIt]

Trying to pull in more supports for the rest of my life, which is a long and complicated process apparently. I have NDIS funding for a support worker but having to actually find and meet and organise a support worker... is really really hard for me to do. So I haven't managed it yet, but I am still trying.

"Still Trying". Kind of the catch phrase for my life right now. Apparently I am in the 100th percentile for depression, 100th percentile for anxiety and 98th percentile for stress, according to the questionnaire I did at my psych's office last week. So. I feel utterly awful. BUT. That is nothing too new. And we shall persevere.

[Guest_4643]

Hey WokingOnIt.

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through but you said you've done a few things such as giving up alcohol and whatnot and wow, that's a great achievement aswell as the other things you said you've tried so well done, you should be proud.

Hmm that 8 week gap between sessions sounds quite weird, have you seen the therapist since? Is it because they have a busy schedule or are going away or something? I have a Psychiatrist that I see on Skype (who is great) so I relate to the lengthy wait but he's the only therapist I want and trust (I've had bad experiences with GPs & Psychologists in the past, which by the way, I hope you don't). Maybe if they're not helping and keeping you waiting too long, you could look into seeing another therapist and/or a GP who specialises in mental health, and perhaps Autism, if you're comfortable though?

You can always come on these forums or chat to BB on their webchat or email, just like Lifeline, SANE, Kids Helpline etc. Or you can look at websites like Reach Out for some ideas. Do you have any interests such as writing, art, anything like that? You could give that a go, for example just throwing paint onto a canvas? It can be fun. Up to you of course.

I hope things improve for you and that you can see your therapist soon or find different health professionals who can help if you're interested. I'm thinking of you, I'm here if you would like to chat here or anywhere on the forums. Good luck with everything, I hope things go well.

Love and hugs,

Tayla (20 years old)

[WokingOnIt]

Hi Tayla,
Thanks so much for your response. And your kind words about my achievements. I forget, sometimes, to be proud of myself for what I AM managing to do.

The 8 week break (that turned into a 9 week break, after all) was because he'd moved offices, had to move out of the old one and couldn't get new space for that amount of time. He's got the new space now, and I've seen him again, once, and from now on we should be back to our regular once-a-fortnight session. Two weeks between sessions still feels like a long time to me (but manageable) so nine weeks felt like soooo long.

Apart from logistical issues, he's actually pretty great - he does specialise in seeing autistic folks, and is the only practitioner I have ever felt could actually help me. I just need a chance to settle in properly, which I haven't been able to do so far (because $$ last year, and then when money finally got sorted out he announced he was changing premises and the long break). I am hoping this year I get a chance to actually settle in and feel safe and start doing some real work.

I have had really bad experiences with GP's and psychologists/counselors in the past too, so now that I have finally found a good one I really don't want to change and try again with someone else. Like yours, he is the only one I want and trust so I keep turning down his offers of referrals.

I do need to spend more time on BB forums. I find it helpful when I remember. And art and writing are two things that I love, but don't do enough of. I will try to make time for those things as well. I do find them helpful, when I remember and make time to do them.

I am prioritising brain care and taking care of myself again, this year. I forgot, for a while, or couldn't, because of the level of overwhelm and stress over the past few months. Trying to remember to breathe, learning how to repair my autonomic nervous system from the damage trauma has caused, and just generally take care of myself with nutrition/exercise etc. I am hoping this will gradually make a difference in my mental state.

[smallwolf]

You are actually doing quite well - despite how you might be feeling, one of the things I am constantly reminded of (by my psych*) is to look at how far you have come and you are doing all the right things, and this would apply to you. Remember that real change takes time.

I can understand what you mean when you talk about turning down referrals. Though I also see my GP as having a set of skills, and when things get outside her skill set she will refer me elsewhere - that is how I was referred to my psychologist and psychiatrist. When my psychiatrist moved from one group to another, I moved with her also so that I would not have to change to a different psychiatrist and have to explain my situation again, especially after developing a good relationship with her.

Anyway, from your post it sounds as though you are back with your GP and psychologist. One thing you do is have a look at a book called "the happiness trap" where you might get some ideas for breathing exercises etc. It was a book recommended to me by my psych. and should be available from your library as well.

Tim

[Guest_4643]

Hey again WokingOnIt.

Oh okay, fair enough. Hopefully you can see them fortnightly again. I agree with you, fortnightly feels like ages especially on certain days, but 8-9 weeks is even longer! I know how you feel, trust me, because it's ages until I see my Psychiatrist between sessions (I see him through Skype, a Telehealth thing). I see him on Feb 18 though.

You're welcome about the kind words, I mean it, and yes you should be proud, good on you. I'm glad you like your Psychologist, that's an important thing with mental health but it's different for everyone - health professionals, treatment, meds, all of that. I agree. I hope you feel comfortable with them and trust them.

I'm sorry to hear that you've also had bad experiences with GPs and other health professionals. As sad as it is, it seems like a common issue that people have shared on these forums, that's pretty sad. But that's great that you finally found one you're happy with and I hope you can keep working with them.

I'm glad to see that you have things that help you such as art and writing, that's great. They can be therapeutic, I agree. I'm not artistically talented although I wish I was, but I suppose everyone can get creative at times.

Good on you, I hope things get better and improve for you. Feel free to come on the forums whenever you like, you're always welcome 24/7, and of course to take time to yourself, I understand.

I'm here if you'd like to chat here or anywhere else on the forums, I have a couple of threads myself if you'd like to check them out (I guess you could try searching my username to find them? I'm not sure).

Love and hugs, and well done with everything, I'm proud of you. I believe in you and I'm happy for you.

Tayla x