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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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ScarlettR Do you find watching Youtube 4K walk videos a great way to unwind and relax at home?
  • replies: 3

As we are still in a pandemic, lockdowns and their aftermaths have worn down the best of us. Even then, sometimes we just can't leave our homes to venture into the city or local shopping centre for some reason. On Youtube, there are 4k videos - basic... View more

As we are still in a pandemic, lockdowns and their aftermaths have worn down the best of us. Even then, sometimes we just can't leave our homes to venture into the city or local shopping centre for some reason. On Youtube, there are 4k videos - basically, it's someone who's filming their POV as they walk through cities and attractions. There are hundreds of such videos on Youtube, covering many cities and places across the world. They tend to run for about 30 minutes on average, and it's a great opportunity to do people-watching and contemplating the sights. I used to live in South Australia, and I often watch 4K videos of Adelaide CBD, because it brings back so many nice memories and I feel a release of bottled-up emotions and feel I'm actually there, walking in Adelaide. It's also just interesting to watch the other people walking and any new developments in the area. Does anyone else watch 4K videos, too? I think it's great for people with mental illness who are curious about the world and can get a personal "tour" of any global city.

Is_it_Just_Me_ Staying Positive
  • replies: 7

Hi there, how are you? Can I ask for help first please........I don't know how to register a profile name. Adivice would be much appreciated. I struggle sometime with the fear of losing my peace which I find through 'connections'.........I know my tr... View more

Hi there, how are you? Can I ask for help first please........I don't know how to register a profile name. Adivice would be much appreciated. I struggle sometime with the fear of losing my peace which I find through 'connections'.........I know my triggers can be loneliness, self-pity, boredom. When this happens I feel myself slipping and this frightens me senseless because then it's a slow slide down the old rabbit hole. I could feel it happening the other day and the fear was tangible.......and I thought, you know what, you're not getting me this time. Forced myself to think about what I could do...........life had dealt some pretty heafty blows in the last few months and I'm more of a listener than a talker so I keep things to myself. Big mistake I know. I'd been giving and giving and giving which is fine. I didn't want to talk to a 'professional" as it wasn't something I couldn't work on myself. What I realised was, I needed someone to talk to as a friend, to just share the ups and downs of life and someone who could also relate to the fear of when things are going good that you're maybe wondering how long you've got being connected to life to being dis-connected and becoming that pain-filled zombie. I missed having a really good laugh about it all to be honest. So, here I am...a person without a name - lol and just connecting........don't know if anyone will answer but I'm enjoying just writing. Was trying to think of a profile name and people come up with all these really clever ones and I can't think of anything really. I don't want anything cheesy or too positive cos that turns me off a bit so I kinda came up with "Is it Just Me?" Anyway, very strange typing into something that you don't know is really real so I'll be pleasantly surprised if I get a reply. Stay safe........... "Is it Just Me?"

Jacq333 Irritability and impatience - how to stop it??
  • replies: 6

When my anxiety and depression is high, I get extremely irritable and lash out about the smallest things such as traffic or simply someone not hearing me (not, not listening, not hearing). My whole body feels tense, my insides feel like they are on f... View more

When my anxiety and depression is high, I get extremely irritable and lash out about the smallest things such as traffic or simply someone not hearing me (not, not listening, not hearing). My whole body feels tense, my insides feel like they are on fire and that I could just scream at someone. when it subsides sometimes a day or 2 later I end up a wreck and cry a lot. I know a big sleep helps calm me down too. Does anyone else get this? How do you control it or stop it being so bad? I feel awful afterwards as I know I have snapped and shouted at people for no reason. I don't get violent thankfully. Any tips would be great

Sliksista63 Introducing myself
  • replies: 8

Hi all I'm new to the thread so hi, I'm looking forward to getting started and not feeling so detached, I have anxiety and depression and a really troublesome fear to having my blood pressure taken (even at home), I do a fair bit to help myself pract... View more

Hi all I'm new to the thread so hi, I'm looking forward to getting started and not feeling so detached, I have anxiety and depression and a really troublesome fear to having my blood pressure taken (even at home), I do a fair bit to help myself practicing aspects of spiritually, exercise, meditation social swimming and water aerobics, so yeah, hi. Looking forward to hearing from you.

contrarymary Ideas for a better night sleep without taking medication
  • replies: 5

I feel like I have never slept a full night since my children were small many years ago i go to bed around 9.30pm and read for about an hour nothing to heavy usually a woman's magazine what usually happens I drop of to sleep whilst reading and wake u... View more

I feel like I have never slept a full night since my children were small many years ago i go to bed around 9.30pm and read for about an hour nothing to heavy usually a woman's magazine what usually happens I drop of to sleep whilst reading and wake up about midnight and that's it I am awake for hours before going back to sleep i have tried going to bed later only to wake after a couple of hours sleep. Tried listening to music or reading a boring book still wake up after a couple of hours. i did an experiment last week I watched a comedy on britbox fell asleep whilst watching when I woke up I had slept through 4 episodes which was 2 hours lookingfor ideas on how to sleep longer. I am not tired when I get up in morning or during the day, I would like a night where I don't lie awake for hours. Spoke to GP his answer was sleeping pills don't want to start. its the same when we are away from home, perhaps I am one of those people who don't need much sleep last night I put light out at 10.30pm woke up what I thought was hours later but it was 12.30pm any advice appreciated

white knight GUILT the tormentor
  • replies: 45

Guilt in my opinion originates from a factor in our childhood. I dont think its hereditary but if our homelife includes generations of narcissistic behaviour then it could feel like its passed down. I know its not passed down because although I am a ... View more

Guilt in my opinion originates from a factor in our childhood. I dont think its hereditary but if our homelife includes generations of narcissistic behaviour then it could feel like its passed down. I know its not passed down because although I am a child of a narcissistic mother (and a nurturing one) I stopped the flow on to my children by refusing the trend of becoming a controlling parent. If hereditary I couldnt have succeeded. So why did I end up suffering guilty intrusive thoughts? As my father worked 14 hour days 6 days a week, our mother was our prime parent. She didnt work. Outsiders never knew. Its what went on behind closed doors that scarred us forever. As a young child, there is a huge difference between control and guidance. As teenagers there is a gap between a parent with recommendations and domination. As we arrive in our 20's we cant deal with our bossy parent any longer and fight back against what is by now manipulation and a gang mentality...even emotional blackmail. The narcissistic parent is clever. They'll use any means at their disposal to control. In my case turning our loving father and relatives against us. They can be possessive of your friends and even try to coerce you to choose a partner preferring one that can be "moulded" into their deputy...more control. If you've read this far you might also be a victim. What can you do? Im 61yo. Right up till 54yo I tried everything but nothing worked. My sister and I broke off all contact, put "return to sender" on letters from our mother and as she had ruined my first wedding in 1985, got a court order so she couldnt ruin my second wedding (her threat) It is highly unlikely a relationship with a narcissist of little contact will work as the control they lust for isnt with them, its with you. How dare you control your own life! So guilt forms in ways like being told- they are never wrong, you are at fault, you make poor choices, if you do that I'll do this, if you do that I'll ruin your life, etc Add to that some anxiety if the narcissistic parent is a "yeller". The expectations are too great as to your immature capacity to "be a good boy". You are their robot. I attended a psychologist. I'll never forget his words at the last session "do you think you need her permission to live without fear?" That was the light that sparked me realising her hold was a firm grip. Demand to yourself the basic right to mental freedom. Walk away, get help to repair the guilt wound ..into a scar. Tony WK

OhmeOhmy Sunshine and Fresh Air
  • replies: 25

Good Morning Everyone, This morning as I lay in bed a battle was being fought within me, do I face the world today or do I hide away and slip down that slope into the waiting darkness. I want to live my life well, I want to feel healthy and happy, I ... View more

Good Morning Everyone, This morning as I lay in bed a battle was being fought within me, do I face the world today or do I hide away and slip down that slope into the waiting darkness. I want to live my life well, I want to feel healthy and happy, I want to feel empowered and I know that the only way that can happen is if I listen to that inner knowing, that gentle persistent whisper that urges me to connect with nature and to move my body. I got up and I went to the gym for the first time in weeks, only half an hour but I moved my body and got my blood flowing faster, sending oxygen and life to every cell in my being, reminding me how good it feels to be alive. As I drove home I knew I had to do more, that persistent knowing again. When I got home I took my jacket off even though its cold and I walked at a good pace down to the lake. I focused on the sun on my skin and the cool air, I listened to the birds and I took a minute to stop and stare out over the water. Tears came to my eyes as I felt gratitude for nature. Nature so giving in its beauty and energy, so cleansing and healing. My mood is better than it has been for several weeks now and I know without a doubt that if I want to feel better I have to listen to the inner knowing and take action. If I don't listen the knowing will get louder to get my attention, it may present as anxiety, it may start screaming at me desperate to to get my attention and guide me back to wellness. My friends I have been feeling myself sinking back into that scary place for several weeks now, that dark, sad and lonely place that far too many of us are familiar with but today I won the battle, I listened and I took action and I think I will again tomorrow. May sunshine and fresh air reach every one of you today and every day.

Romes88 Who is that in the mirror?
  • replies: 6

Hi all, I have had 2 kids who are beautiful and I love being words, but since having them I have lost every part of myself. They are 4 and 1 and everyday all day is consumed with them or other adult things that need to be done, with zero time for mys... View more

Hi all, I have had 2 kids who are beautiful and I love being words, but since having them I have lost every part of myself. They are 4 and 1 and everyday all day is consumed with them or other adult things that need to be done, with zero time for myself. I had 2 C sections, my body is so different, I can't move the weight and I'm too tired to do anything about it. My mind is fried, I overthink everything, worry I'm not doing enough or failing, can't take jokes from my husband anymore and feel like I've been turned into this nagging depressed housewife. I used to enjoy a drink with friends as a good time, but now I just don't know when to stop and start fights with my husband about all the things I've bottled up.... so they come out in the most negative way. So now I'm also hurting him. How do I get out of this?!

Herefortheforums How to help someone who feels ‘violated’
  • replies: 5

Hi all posting here as someone I work with is going through a hard time at the moment and yes I do have feelings for her. Recently she’s being doing it tough with work and to make things worse, she had her home broken into and they stole her handbag ... View more

Hi all posting here as someone I work with is going through a hard time at the moment and yes I do have feelings for her. Recently she’s being doing it tough with work and to make things worse, she had her home broken into and they stole her handbag and her car. Since then, she hasn’t been doing to well and I even sent her flowers to help cheer her up which she appreciated. i guess the biggest thing I’m looking to know is, how do you comfort someone who wakes up crying in the morning (she isn’t a crier normally) and feels ‘violated’? (Her words) I like this girl and I’m going to keep doing what feels right, but any help anyone has with helping someone through tough times like this would be greatly appreciated Thanks

Mel- Emotionally distanced by husband
  • replies: 2

I am a 33 year old mum. I am feeling that my husband is not in to me. I’m a introvert person but my husband is quite opposite. I need to stay in the relationship for my 2 kids. But so painful to realise partner don’t have any emotional and physical a... View more

I am a 33 year old mum. I am feeling that my husband is not in to me. I’m a introvert person but my husband is quite opposite. I need to stay in the relationship for my 2 kids. But so painful to realise partner don’t have any emotional and physical attraction