I am a 37 year old mother of 5 girls, a carer to my husband who has PTSD
and my aging parents who both along with other aging medical conditions
suffer with depression and we all live under 1 roof! I am also at
university studying a bachelor of busin...
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I am a 37 year old mother of 5 girls, a carer to my husband who has PTSD
and my aging parents who both along with other aging medical conditions
suffer with depression and we all live under 1 roof! I am also at
university studying a bachelor of business part-time maintaining a
distinction grade average. On a day to day basis, I deal with my ex and
his partner, my husbands ex and her partner and the calendar events of
our 8 yours mine and ours children as well as medical appointments and
the normal day to day of caring for others. You could say my life is
hectic, and true other people seem to always comment on how busy I must
be, and how hard it must be. I do not see it that way, truth be told it
is my blessing and my curse. It is my blessing because I can give back
to my parents for all the time they have given to me, I can watch them
live out the rest of their years in the comfort of our family home
surrounded each day by their grand children, while being cared for by
someone who loves them and who is willing to make their golden years,
well, golden. However it is also my curse, because there I pretty much
have to make an appointment with myself to get sick or to take a day
off. Truthfully sometimes I feel very overwhelmed and resentful. I
realize that I have put myself in this situation, I also realize that
circumstances have compounded my situation, and I understand that I
could give up uni, and place my parents in care, and that it would be
easy. But I cant do that. I love giving able to give back, my family is
everything to me. What I did not appreciate was the local mental health
team who told me I was depressed (without talking to me), that i needed
to go on medication and that docs would have to come and assess the
situation as no one is capable of doing what I do. I manage, at times it
is more difficult than others, some weeks are a breeze, and others well
not so good, but we all have times like that. That is called life! I
understand that as a carer depression can be a real issue, however, I
have yet to find a service that will help me in my unique situation to
prevent the from happening. So without that safety net, I still manage
on my own. I take each day as it comes, and I utilize the tools that I
do have and can access to keep me in the best mental shape I can. That
is one of the reasons that I went back to uni, to give me something
totally outside my day to day roles to do, to keep my mind active, and
to socailise in circles outside of my daily routine - also the fact that
the internet and computers have made uni available to me at home! After
I separated from my first husband I had major depression, like all
divorces it was not pleasant, we required a police presence just to be
in the same room. I sought help, I learnt to recognize when things were
starting to go south, and I learnt to get help as soon as I could, this
brings me back to the local mental health team who decided that I just
needed to be medicated again and everything would be hunky dory. Well, I
refused the medication, they called docs (docs saw no problems, our
house is clean, everyone is well fed and everything is properly
maintained and in order). I took the family on a cruise, where we could
all have a holiday in the same place so I could keep an eye on everyone,
but we could be separate at the same time! And it worked a treat! I got
the time i needed to recharge and recuperate, and my family was all
taken care of. The choice to take on my family members in the caring
role was an easy one, I am a trained personal carer, and at work I was
used to caring for 8 high dependent residents at one time, so it was
easy to apply those principles to my home life. It was also easy to
remove my emotions from my day to day caring role, by not taking things
too much to heart and to not let daily challenges drag me down.