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BeyondBlue Tradies National Health Month
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond... View more

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond Blue is hosting a special free webinar for our tradie community on Tuesday 12 August at 4.30pm which you can register for here. We know that Tradies can face unique stressors, with a culture of toughness and difficult job demands that can impact personal time and self-care. It can also be tough for partners and family members who aren’t sure how to support someone in a trade who may be showing signs that their mental health isn’t at its best. If you’re unsure where to start your conversation this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Hope Assistance Local Tradies: Home This Is A Conversation Starter: TIACS - This is a Conversation Starter Mates in Construction: MATES - Industry Based Suicide Prevention - MATES Don’t forget - our counsellors are always here for you on 1300 22 46 36. We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight The Significance of being "reasonable"
  • replies: 16

What is “reasonable”? If you have a mental illness and are actively mingling with other people be it work or socialising, you are likely to often trip up where your behaviour/reactions is seen as extreme. For the stable out there we could easily be s... View more

What is “reasonable”? If you have a mental illness and are actively mingling with other people be it work or socialising, you are likely to often trip up where your behaviour/reactions is seen as extreme. For the stable out there we could easily be seen as unreasonable. These people largely don’t have or rarely have the emotion level we have. (I’m speaking broadly). Fragile emotions that are often in the high range has little room for negotiation in a calm relaxed approach. We seem to others as not being able to reason as emotion gets in the way and that's what they focus on. In defense however often the instigator isn’t reasonable in the first place. But does that justify being unreasonable ourselves? Probably not. What do we lack? To be able to be reasonable? I’ve thought for some time about this. I have a friend, a reasonable friend meaning she seems to be calm and calculating even under stress. When she converses with others that are heated in their frame of mind, she doesn’t “lose it”. But what she has is something I don’t have- quick wit. Having quick wit allows you to think quickly and evaluate the situation to your favour. There was a classic example of this recently. She borrowed a beach umbrella some months ago for the summer. After the hot weather ended she tried to return it and she’d purchased one herself. But her friend had gone on an overseas holiday. She tried a few weeks later, he had returned but went on another holiday. Nearly 9 months went by and I was there when he called in. He immediately accused her of keeping the umbrella for 9 months “way in excess of what I’d lend it to you” he snapped. Her reply was calm and collected. Firstly it is a beach umbrella, I don’t use beach umbrella’s in the winter. Secondly, you have been overseas on the two occasions I dropped by at your home. They both went to her shed and she produced the umbrella “take note of the cobwebs on it, it hasn’t moved for 6 months” she calmly exclaimed. Her friend apologised and left. Had I been her I would have argued and got upset. Her responses were measured and witty, thinking on her feet, not predetermined. This form of thinking doesn’t come naturally for some but it is something we can work on. Staying calm, asking for some time to think about the situation, allowing others to get upset and waiting until they are calm….all contribute towards less emotion. And that’s a good challenge if you want to be “reasonable” and less emotional. Tony WK

Guest_9466 Travelling with depression and anxiety
  • replies: 12

Hi, I may start this thread in the wrong area, so please move it to where it belongs. I am travelling at the moment and has been travelling for the past three months. However, recently, my anxiety and depression have been overwhelming. The worse it g... View more

Hi, I may start this thread in the wrong area, so please move it to where it belongs. I am travelling at the moment and has been travelling for the past three months. However, recently, my anxiety and depression have been overwhelming. The worse it gets, the more guilty I felt, as I am travelling with hubby and recently, with daughter. I felt guilty for running their holiday. Not sure where I am heading with this thread, except, perhaps I am trying to reach out for empathy? Anyway, I think I did the right thing by sending hubby off to do some sight seeing on his own. Although, I didn't feel like it, I went off on my own to explore the neighbourhood. I am lucky that a friend who is now travelling, kindly shared her home with us so we can chill out until our next big adventure next week for a week. We are also heading to somewhere warmer, so perhaps my spirits will be uplifted somewhat. I don't really want to go but I felt that I must.

myownworstenemy Keeping Well
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I have managed to keep myself reasonably well by doing some voluntary work in the op-shop at church, getting regular exercise (also a good way to lose some weight), eating a healthy diet and thinking positive. I also take my medications corre... View more

Hi all, I have managed to keep myself reasonably well by doing some voluntary work in the op-shop at church, getting regular exercise (also a good way to lose some weight), eating a healthy diet and thinking positive. I also take my medications correctly and regularly, listen to my favourite music and play with my cats. When I do feel anxious and agitated, I do something to take my mind off whatever is the problem and distract myself which works really well.

phoenixstone When You May Need These Words
  • replies: 3

When the light isn't bright enough to lead the way, when not enough sorries can keep the hurt at bay, when there's not enough strength to step out of bed, when so many voices threaten to fill the head, when the clock on the wall haunts the inner ear,... View more

When the light isn't bright enough to lead the way, when not enough sorries can keep the hurt at bay, when there's not enough strength to step out of bed, when so many voices threaten to fill the head, when the clock on the wall haunts the inner ear, when scars are a reminder that death is always near, when not enough words can change a frown, when the world threatens to make the up become the down, when friend's offers always seem to fall on you, when smiling becomes your soul's greatest taboo, when the phone rings and it isn't who you desire, when someone's around your solitude lights on fire, when your heart is sick of fighting with willpower's fists, when not enough positives fill your empty lists, when hope has fled from you to a place unknown, and when darkness creeps to turn your life to stone, read these words to yourself is all that I'll ever ask. Let them surround you and comfort you for that is their task, may these words bring you hope from a place unknown, may these words split the darkness that brought the stone, may these words let your heart rest as it lifts its fists, may these words delete the negatives that fill your lists, may these words call you and bring about desire, may these words be with you as your companion's fire, may these words bring offers that are suitable for you, may these words be a smile filled with laughter's taboo, may these words be enough to change your frown, may these words make it fun when the up becomes the down, may these words silent the ticking that possesses the ear, may these words cover the scars so you see life is near, may these words give you the strength to leave the bed, may these words be the voices that fill your head, may these words be the peace that keeps the sorries at bay, may these words be bright enough to always light your way. -------- I wrote this for myself to keep me going. Writing is my greatest gift and the contribution I want to make in this world, so this is the first time I actually wrote something for me specifically, but I think it could help others too. Hope this helps at least one other person. I'll know I've done something right.

Dorian_Gray Thankfulness Advice
  • replies: 3

Hi All, I’ve been advised to do a thankfulness exercise, writing three things I’m thankful for each day. I’ve seen the posts of “Three things to be thankful for” here and it has some interesting examples of how to find small things to be thankful for... View more

Hi All, I’ve been advised to do a thankfulness exercise, writing three things I’m thankful for each day. I’ve seen the posts of “Three things to be thankful for” here and it has some interesting examples of how to find small things to be thankful for, so I'm really thankful (thankful for others thankfulness you might say!) for people having posted them. Even so, though I have been writing out my list each day for a while now, I don’t really “feel” thankful for any of the things on it; it’s just like an intellectual acknowledgement with no real substance. I’m wondering if anyone else who uses this technique has any advice on how to actually feel thankful for things rather than just noting them, or if you’ve experienced something similar etc.? BTW Today I am thankful for 1) My job 2) History books…and the fact I have the time and money to buy and read them 3) airconditioning Thanks D_G

Guest_2350 Helpful apps
  • replies: 3

Hello All, in this new era of mobile phones, are there any great apps that you know and use when you get sad, have an anxiety attack, pick yourself up, or you just want to monitor your daily progress / journal? I travel heaps and it is good to have s... View more

Hello All, in this new era of mobile phones, are there any great apps that you know and use when you get sad, have an anxiety attack, pick yourself up, or you just want to monitor your daily progress / journal? I travel heaps and it is good to have something that is always with me. I have a couple of meditation apps that I use: "isleep Easy" which has "falling asleep" and "waking during the night" meditations. There is another one called "At Ease" that I am trying to use for meditation when anxiety hits (have not used it much yet).There is also a "walking meditation" from the same programmer. I also use "Smiling mind" but more when I am having a good day - I like eating my chocolate with the eating meditation, but I struggle with any of the feelings, thoughts or emotions meditations. I have made a movie with photos of people I love and music that is soothing - have not tried that yet - to help me in a dark hour (I keep forgetting that i have it). I also have a photo food journal to remind me to prepare nice and healthy meals - this really motivates me to eat. On youtube I play motivational videos, some of my favourites used to be "Unbroken" and "Why do we fall" - though I have to say, that this is less relevant for my current journey. I loved these when I was working on fitness goals, but I get strength out of them for my current journey as well. Would be great to hear about your apps. Cheers, Yggy

triptych Music helps
  • replies: 11

Firstly, hello, and thank-you to all of the moderators and contributors on this forum. I've recently found this place and have trawled through quite a few threads so far... It's great to have a resource where we don't need to feel so alone. Think I m... View more

Firstly, hello, and thank-you to all of the moderators and contributors on this forum. I've recently found this place and have trawled through quite a few threads so far... It's great to have a resource where we don't need to feel so alone. Think I may stick around for a while. I've been dealing with various issues on my own for years, and am only just learning that it's OK to talk about them. With that said, Here goes with my first post... I've had varying degrees of depression and anxiety over the years, but recently had my first experience of a "proper" panic attack and it sent me into a bit of a tailspin. As the storm clouds cleared (they always do) and I once more tried to collect my strength, I've relearned something I knew instinctively when I was a teenager - Music helps. I've always been into music, and found myself surprised revisiting some albums that I haven't listened to in years.. whether it be an uplifting solo, a beat that gets you going or some inspiring lyrics, There's been a mountain of help lined up on the shelves of the lounge room wall all along. I'm starting to build up an arsenal of go-to tracks, for when I need that kick inside. Right now, I am being incredibly inspired by the maturity and sensitivity of the words of Mike Skinner (The Streets). When I last listened to his albums I heard it as jokey, laddish music about partying and such. Coming back to it with open ears in a time of need, I now hear his incredible maturity and emotional sensitivity in so many of his lyrics, He's been there, and has the talent to express in words what so few of us men are unable to. I'm hoping to find more gems like this, but it's a bit like a needle in the haystack. So I am putting it out there... Whether it be finding the strength to get out of bed, grieving a lost relationship, or just struggling to make sense of it all, What music helps you when you need a little mental leg-up? I'll start, The Streets - On The Edge Of A Cliff

Guest_2350 Help - tips for travelling overseas
  • replies: 4

Good morning, I am in my final preparation for a 4 week trip to Europe and I am getting increasingly worried about losing my support network here, not seeing my GP and psych and losing my daily routine - I struggle when I lose my daily routine and ev... View more

Good morning, I am in my final preparation for a 4 week trip to Europe and I am getting increasingly worried about losing my support network here, not seeing my GP and psych and losing my daily routine - I struggle when I lose my daily routine and everyday will be different and challenging for me when away. I have depression and C-PTSD and I will actually face a few trigger places when abroad, which freaks me out as well. It is a trip of a life time and actually something to look forward to and I would like to do as much as I can to make it a pleasant exprience for myself and everyone around me. I am talking to the psych and GP but feel like time is running out... What has helped you to prepare & get through it with a smile? Thanks, Yggy

white knight REJECTION - it's hard to swallow
  • replies: 11

Mental illness often brings with it excess sensitivity among many other quirky characteristics. Quirky because we aren't talking about common sensitivity, we are talking about being really easy to upset and indeed remain upset for a long period of ti... View more

Mental illness often brings with it excess sensitivity among many other quirky characteristics. Quirky because we aren't talking about common sensitivity, we are talking about being really easy to upset and indeed remain upset for a long period of time. Hence we react heavily to bullying, embarrassing moments, financial pressures etc. We worry and worry isn't good. What about rejection? I suspect my mother to have BPD in the extreme and she's left a train wreck where ever she has been within both sides of my family. Every time my sister or I have had a falling out with her we also have lost other relatives or family friends. But there was one auntie that I've lost and its hard to swallow. As a boy she was the dairy farmers wife with 7 kids, my cousins and we'd cart hay and go rabbiting. She was the warmth that filled her home. She was the stable older female in my life that filled the hole when my mother would be on her crusades against others or me depending on her mood. See, the problem with excess BPD people when they don't get treatment (so don't take it personally) is that some gather support from other family members and before you know it you've got many of these that no longer talk to you no matter how hard you try. But this auntie (by marriage) I didn't expect to reject me. I'm 60yo she is 82yo. I've written 3 letters in the last 4 years mentioning what a wonderful auntie she was when I was young and how I understand her hardship over many years.So what is the best action for me now? Well what I've done is write many times letters on the computer then erased them. It helps. The other thing is to imagine in your mind that these people that reject you have a limited understanding of what its like to live a life in your shoes. How could this auntie possibly understand what its like to be a child of a very excessive train wreck of a mother that has periodically abused you and not given you a stable childhood? Letter writing is effective. Today I wrote my auntie 4 letters, none of them will be sent. My first letter had anger in it. Comments like "I've never got between you and your children when you've argued so why are you taking sides in this family rift?" Comments of justifying my situation or more like not justifying her stance. The last letter was much shorter and I wished her well, that she has choices in life and I do also. I wished her good health. And that I loved her regardless. Then erased that to. Now I'm at peace.

Pontius Little List of Goals
  • replies: 2

Hello, I have found that writing a list of goals (they don't have to be big things, just small things that you want to achieve) can be really helpful. Then you keep that list where you can get it if you want to and look at it so you can see all the t... View more

Hello, I have found that writing a list of goals (they don't have to be big things, just small things that you want to achieve) can be really helpful. Then you keep that list where you can get it if you want to and look at it so you can see all the things you want to achieve in life. You don't have to stick it on the fridge where everyone can see you goals, you can keep it somewhere and work through it quietly and privately. I just find this useful because then you can see what you want to achieve and it has made me think twice about quitting. This has been useful for me (as well as keeping a Gratitude Diary where you write what you are grateful for each day). I hope it might be useful for you too. Pontius​