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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Jacko777 Divert Your Attention; re-ignite your passions
  • replies: 2

Hi Folks, We have probably all heard that we can divert our attention to help ease our suffering with depression and anxiety. So divert your thinking to what? I have found that diverting my attention to say, doing the dishes, doesn't really cut it. W... View more

Hi Folks, We have probably all heard that we can divert our attention to help ease our suffering with depression and anxiety. So divert your thinking to what? I have found that diverting my attention to say, doing the dishes, doesn't really cut it. What I find far more interesting and absorbing are the things I am passionate about. So I have been through a process of finding a strong understanding about my passions, essentially the things in life that I care about the most. There are some obvious ones that a lot of us share; family, home, career. Then there are the interests and pastimes that can be investigated. What would I do with my time if money was not an issue? What things make me happy, what do I care about, what makes me frustrated or angry? Your list could be short or long. I care a lot about Nature, I want to conserve and protect our environment. I love music, I am crap on guitar and drums but I love it. And I care about people, I feel sadness when others are hurting, I want to help people to find greater peace and happiness cause I know it is possible. So my passions as listed are where I want to divert my attention to, anywhere in there will bring me happiness or at least satisfaction. This is hopefully a constantly changing thing, I try to make goals in each area and plans to reach those goals, working it back to what I can do today. So for example, today's list could look like this; Family; I need to spend more time with my partner, so I can focus my attention for a little while on how this can be achieved, I need to keep in touch with family interstate, I could make a call today, I need some quality time with my son this week, i shall keep Saturday morning free for a bike ride. Nature; I feel highly rewarded when I give my time to conserve the planet, so today I can answer an email about a possible event coming up...keep the ball rolling. Home; Laundry tap! I've put it off for 7 years, it will take 90 minutes to fix. I will sit back for a moment and be thankful for the beautiful place where I live, feel satisfied for the work I have already done. People; I will get on Beyond Blue, just in case I can help someone. I will send my mate a text and organise a jam. So if I can get a bit done each day in my key areas I will have diverted my attention but also I will have satisfaction knowing that I have kept my passions alight, the things that are most important to me. I try not to over-think activities, action cures fear. Jack

WallPop How does a 61 y.o. Male learn to apply coping STRATEGIES?
  • replies: 4

i hope I've started off correctly here? Still a little uncertain navigating correctly here in the programme. Anyway as some of you might have seen in a couple of Posts I've been dealing with depression for 18 years or so. Have had some success with c... View more

i hope I've started off correctly here? Still a little uncertain navigating correctly here in the programme. Anyway as some of you might have seen in a couple of Posts I've been dealing with depression for 18 years or so. Have had some success with certain Meds but had a relapse back in February which I am finding very difficult to get over. This last week I was prescribed a Med which caused me anxiety problems three years ago as well as generally making me feel ill. Also been seeing a Mental Health Counsellor of recent weeks. I don't want to do anything and just stay in bed (I answered a Post to Lazybones a little while ago which might outline my problem better). The Counsellor is hoping to set up stratergies to deal with depression and I'm not managing with it. Today my wife spoke with our G.P. who indicated I have to put some strategies in place too. I feel ill with the medication don't know how to PRACTICE any strategies!!! I am now concerned that if I don't learn to apply whatever strategies that might be my doctor might take a dim view towards believing me and helping me to get onto a more suitable medication. How does a 61 y.o. Male learn to apply STRATEGIES, I honestly don't know how to apply such mechanism and am feeling quite apprehensive about my position, that apprehension being to fail at what might be expected of me by way of self help!!!

Doolhof Tributes to Friends
  • replies: 22

FRIENDS: we all have them at some stage in our lives or we would dearly like to have one right now. I've just picked up a book by Hulton Getty called "Best Friends" Over time I am going to share some of the quotes with you and see if I can recall pos... View more

FRIENDS: we all have them at some stage in our lives or we would dearly like to have one right now. I've just picked up a book by Hulton Getty called "Best Friends" Over time I am going to share some of the quotes with you and see if I can recall positive stories about my friends to share with you. Sometimes my brain forgets things. Ha. Ha. Today's quote is "Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life" by President Thomas Jefferson. For some reason the following story came to mind. When I was about 12, a friend and I stayed in an old half derelict house belonging to her family. We tried to get the wood stove going so we could pop corn on the stove in a saucepan. The stove took ages to heat up and we left the popcorn on the stove and went to bed. During the night the fire in the stove took off and the corn started to pop and scared the "whatevers" out of us! We certainly needed each other that night until we realised what was happening! Hope you can share some stories about your friends. Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

white knight Overstaying their welcome
  • replies: 3

Considering ,many of us that have a mental illness live our lives in extremes, we have to realise that many or even most of our behaviour is at the ends of tolerance. My wife and I have a dear friend. He's 81yo and we met him when riding our motorcyc... View more

Considering ,many of us that have a mental illness live our lives in extremes, we have to realise that many or even most of our behaviour is at the ends of tolerance. My wife and I have a dear friend. He's 81yo and we met him when riding our motorcycles in this vast country of ours. This week he arrived unannounced as he didnt have our phone number. We made him welcome. He is single and lonely. He left today, 6 days after her arrived. In my mind he stayed 2-3 days too long. So how did I tolerate these last few day? My main method was to go for a short walk or bury my head in the garage and leave him talking to my wife. Bare in mind that there is zero wrong with this visitor of ours....its all got to do with my level of tolerance of others. It has upset my routine, I've had dozens more coffees and teas than usual and I delayed my personal projects I love doing. This is where the guilt comes in. We are retired. We should be able to delay projects. We should tolerate visitors especially the friends we have because we have surrounded ourselves with kind loving people and one of them is this fellow. But 3 days is my max before I really want them to leave. On this occasion this chap was from Tassy and he arrived here earlier than he expected as the friends he was going to visit had moved and he, all of a sudden, had 6 days left with nowhere to go. So I dont think this is going to be the norm. As I said, its my guilt I'm wrestling with. My inability to be patient (and I've tried everything there). I do "blame" it on my issues of bipolar 2, dysthymia, depression etc but whatever it is thats responsible one cant pull tolerance out of a hat and apply it. And one moves away from mentioning the dreaded words "I've got a mental illness" to explain when you need to have space for even 30 minutes to clear your head. How do you deal with these "demons" that wrestle within? Tony WK

check-in_chick It takes a long time....
  • replies: 3

I think like a lot of people when I first sought help for my depression (didn't even know that's what it was back then) I was after the magic pill. I have a sore throat I get some pills....I have a headache.... etc etc. A year or so on now through ho... View more

I think like a lot of people when I first sought help for my depression (didn't even know that's what it was back then) I was after the magic pill. I have a sore throat I get some pills....I have a headache.... etc etc. A year or so on now through hospital admissions and a suicide attempt, I have finally come to a point of awareness and acceptance. But it hasn't been easy and it is still not easy....it is had work to be well sometimes. Really HARD work!. I don't want to put anyone off from trying because I can see how that might sound. "I am lost.... I see no future....I feel hopeless and worthless...why would I want to work hard to perpetuate this endless nothingness?..." I've been there.... I get it...I still go there. I just want to say to you, whoever you are that you are worthwhile and YOU are enough. Try, as impossibly hard as it seems, to live in the present and challenge that depression. It is not a good friend. It seems comforting and safe but it's not.

Melvin What worked for me
  • replies: 5

Hi BB community, I don't know how long i have had issues with depression and anxiety, but it has been a fair chunk of my life, at times taken a big chunk out of me, who i am and even the ability to have positive thoughts for extended periods of time ... View more

Hi BB community, I don't know how long i have had issues with depression and anxiety, but it has been a fair chunk of my life, at times taken a big chunk out of me, who i am and even the ability to have positive thoughts for extended periods of time (up to 6 months). Then i would drink & smoke and feel even worse and get stuck into these habits no with others, but alone. I have cried myself to sleep so many times that it almost became part of my life. I remember the lowest point i have felt, was when i was struggling to choke back tears whilst in a group discussion, that is a pain like no other. I feel my depression occurs when i start over thinking on stuff like comparing myself to others, work [average 6-7 days a week the last 7 years], the condition of our world, environment and attitude in society brought me into this realm. It changed my opinions to the point of hating people for their ignorance. I also would pick on myself, hate myself, and hurt loved ones around most of all my parents who i was so cynical to when i returned home from traveling for two years (i left Australia for the reasons above). That was my direction. I then started taking it out on others upon my return, if someone picked on me, i would become very aggressive, antagonistic and sometimes violent. The last time was with my brothers in Sydney where i ended up in Jail for the night. This is the first time i have ever shared this with anyone, but i am glad it is in confidence of persons who have struggled in a similar way. I briefly ran through some of the symptoms of depression and i could tick all the of them off at one point or another. Depression has taken my lifestyle, point of view and direction away from me. [when feeling anxious/depressed] The biggest resource for me now when feeling this way, is interacting with others, including my closest friends who have always seen the signs and talked me through it. On the other hand what i have found was what works for me in managing this. Diet and Hobbies I moderate my drinking now and don't smoke. Writing issues down has helped I now try to identify the problem, write down i reacted, and what i could do to manage it next time. I am patching things up with my family, though i don't think they realized how long i have been dealing with this and have been dismissive until recently. They would say things like "why cant you just be happy", "your so hard on yourself" & "stop worrying so much". Battling but getting there. I hope you do aswell

white knight Festering issues or moving on
  • replies: 4

We've all heard the phrases "crying over spilt milk", "drama queen", "stewing over it", etc.Some people are prone to not resolving issues as they run around and around in their minds without rest. But there are also other phrases like "Bringing it to... View more

We've all heard the phrases "crying over spilt milk", "drama queen", "stewing over it", etc.Some people are prone to not resolving issues as they run around and around in their minds without rest. But there are also other phrases like "Bringing it to a head", move on", "close the door", "shut it down" etc that is the other extreme isnt it? The first state of mind is a real concern for the mentally ill because, in my view from my limited experience those with mental illness often have less defining drive to resolve issues. We worry more, stew over matters more sometimes for years and years...even all our lives. This lack of resolve - where does it come from? I believe when we have this "side" condition it could come from excessive care for others either in a personal view, caring manner or compulsive thinking. Have you ever heard of someone saying "I dont think about them anymore".? Gee, wish I could stop thinking about other people more. Especially those I've had serious issues with at the workplace years ago (am now retired). I know absolutely that few people I've met would be churning over these same sorts of issues 10, 20 years later. In fact now that I have more time on my hands I have been thinking about a chap I joined the Air Force with in 1973, that I later assaulted. I was 19yo.I'm now 59yo. Go figure. Then there is the extreme of all of the above- ease of discounting anything that causes stress of concern. Ever met these people? They move on so quickly. A definitive mind, decisive, direct, firm and content. They are the ones in the workplace that express quickly to the troubled one "are you still talking about that- get over it". Such comments hurt us that stew over things. Do these that move on so quickly have the capacity to care? If they did wouldnt they recognise the confusion of the troubled ones? Of course they care...they just care differently and cannot fathom how anyone can think over and over about what is often a distressing topic, so repetitively. They see this behaviour as troublemaking and not fun at all. They dont realise it is a symptom of either an average thinking person that isnt happy with unresolved matters or someone with mental illness that hasnt got the capacity to find peace about topics of a distressing nature. The ideal is somewhere in between both extremes. But us humans are rarely in the ideal sphere. Thats why we fight each other. Better to find acceptance for others how they think. It doesnt mean they dont care.. Tony WK

Indra What things keep you positive?
  • replies: 8

Hi, I am Indra and have recently joined here. I am suffering from depression and have what is described as ongoing grief. This is what they say to you when your child gets diagnosed with a moderate to severe lifelong disability and now the possibilit... View more

Hi, I am Indra and have recently joined here. I am suffering from depression and have what is described as ongoing grief. This is what they say to you when your child gets diagnosed with a moderate to severe lifelong disability and now the possibility that my youngest may have the same disability but on a mild level. I have also overcome an anxiety disorder which I had in my late teens - mainly due to the fact that I had nearly died from health reasons. The things that keep me going at the moment are my two boys - who create some of my stress, but also give me many rewarding experiences and show me a lot of love. Music is a must and when I find a quiet minute (a rarity) I like to write. Feel free to share Indra

Doolhof Greetings from Doolhof, Mrs. Dools, or Lauren
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone. I have had a super busy weekend and have not been near the computer at all so I hope you are all doing okay. I've been thinking of all of you who I have been in contact with recently and am looking forward to having the time to catch up ... View more

Hi everyone. I have had a super busy weekend and have not been near the computer at all so I hope you are all doing okay. I've been thinking of all of you who I have been in contact with recently and am looking forward to having the time to catch up soon. Today I have a full day of work and a meeting tonight, so maybe after that I will have some computer time! Wishing you all a day of hope and inner peace. Cyber hugs to you all from Mrs. Dools or Lauren