Immediate support
Immediate support

Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. If you're interested - Beyond Blue also have a 'money and mental health' quiz to gauge a sense of how finances may be impacting your mental health and what to do next. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Start a discussion

SourceShield Addicted To Dopamine...and all the rest.
  • replies: 2

Hey. I have come to see BeyondBlue, or more-so, the Forums and how I can respond to other threads etc...as another way that I am 'feeding' an addictive personality behaviour. HFA - for me, means that my brain goes at high speed, all the time. I use t... View more

Hey. I have come to see BeyondBlue, or more-so, the Forums and how I can respond to other threads etc...as another way that I am 'feeding' an addictive personality behaviour. HFA - for me, means that my brain goes at high speed, all the time. I use this 'power' for good - completing a PhD and I run my own company and micro-businesses, as well. But, I have mindfully assessed that as I respond to more post - though still sincere and as objective as I can - this gives me a huge 'rush'...its the dopamine (other neurotransmitters etc would be at play, but this would be the dominant chem released) I am becoming addicted to the forums, because, as I respond I 'feel' good. Dopamine = Happy Chem produced when we 'do' things, the REWARD drug!. Like when we tick things off a list...dopamine rush! BUT - Dopamine will also be released when unpleasant situations are encountered. i.e. when I get an email stating that a post is being moderated. Sends my brain into...OH NO, WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG NOW mode... Which also releases dopamine. I am writing to, see if others can see this in any areas of their life too?. Having an IQ of 160, I have prided myself on how my brain is quick and efficient with info-processing, but when we combine this with how the frontal lobe, the home of the empathy network, can work or doesn't work together in some cases, its easy to see how we can become addicted to stimuli. i.e. Lets say that a person was abused as a child. The neo-cortex will develop in such a way that they are forever 'feeling' and looking for danger...as is seen in hyper-vigilance. The dopamine receptors will maladapt and instead of 'scouting' for 'positive' ways to release the happy-chem, theyll seek out painful and hurtful and abusive relationships because they are hooked to the way the dopamine rush feels for them...even if it is an abusive relationship. Its all rather twisted. I work from home, and I can easily sit in front of the laptop and 'post' all day...like a drug fiend. I'm gonna clean my room now - which will be a 'good' rush of the chem. Lift some weights and then take the muttly for a walk. Eat some good food. And, limit my time on BB...as much as I am thankful to the community, for being here. Its important to release the 'chems' in other ways too, so that when I am on BB...its a pleasure and not a chore! This revelation has helped me to see more space in my life that needs balance and harmony. How is it for you?. MuchLove.

white knight Being withdrawn to achieving confidence
  • replies: 3

I find it amusing, of all the people I’ve met that have had a diagnosed mental illness, none have in my opinion been arrogant. Why would this be? Could there be a common factor among the emotionally unstable that does not allow them to be seen or act... View more

I find it amusing, of all the people I’ve met that have had a diagnosed mental illness, none have in my opinion been arrogant. Why would this be? Could there be a common factor among the emotionally unstable that does not allow them to be seen or act in an arrogant way? I think so. In a sliding scale it could be assumed we are within the scope of withdrawn and confident. Confidence is when we have sufficient knowledge on topics and can convey that knowledge to other people. An “air” of confidence results. We can rely on our own abilities and opinions then we are confident within ourselves. Arrogance is when one has knowledge of topics but believes other people have less knowledge and portrays grandeur. We all know what withdrawn means and it doesn't sound positive. However seeking withdrawal could be voluntary as a means for example of finding safety. Some of us are comfortable with our own company or limited in the numbers of people in contact and the quality of people we associate with. On-line forums such as this one offers anonymousity which can be wonderful for the withdrawn because one can regulate ones input from zero to regular. So most of us should have a goal. To become confident within ourselves enough so that we possess knowledge of our illnesses, emotions and restrictions to the point whereby we know all facets of our condition. That alone would give us awareness enough to continue on with life better than it has. It would mean we are improving, advancing and in many ways we are conquering our fears brought about from doubt, lack of information and knowledge. Once confident we can then pass onto others our store of information. There is one proviso- that we don’t emit an air of grandeur or we would have slid onto into the arrogant category. People don’t like arrogance so that would work against us. Learning, for many new members is right here within the pages of this forum. Each night you could choose two threads, read, learn and digest them to add to your knowledge, for knowledge obtained about yourself and why you are like you are is one of the best tools for recovery. Remember, recovery is not likely 100% but a level of happiness, contentment, as much stability you are capable of achieving and a minimum of social communication. Research, listening to others mixed with professional guidance can be a potent mix to point you in the right direction to becoming confident. Confidence through knowledge is good. Tony WK

SourceShield Just A Simple Reflection.
  • replies: 22

Morning! Simply sharing to express, rather than to seek advice. I'm just asking questions, and your comments are always valuable...even when I'm feeling gruff. I'm a bit of a lone wolf you see. Thought I was tough. I heard a tale the other day that m... View more

Morning! Simply sharing to express, rather than to seek advice. I'm just asking questions, and your comments are always valuable...even when I'm feeling gruff. I'm a bit of a lone wolf you see. Thought I was tough. I heard a tale the other day that made perfect sense to me, and I wanted to share it with you. Just too see, what you think of it. We all have two wolves inside of us, they are always hungry and gnash and growl at each other. One wolf feeds on our apathy, grief, envy, fear etc... The other, on our courage, acceptance, joy and compassion etc... Its not the best wolf that wins the battle within, but the wolf we feed. The question that begs to be answered of course is, what wolf am I feeding? Courage looks different on all of us at different times of our life... Sometimes courage can look like walking away from an abusive relationship, and sometimes its being with the person you love, even if your friends and family don't understand your sexuality. Acceptance can look like tears of joy or tears of sadness. I'm just writing because I was told over and over and over again to shut up as a kid, that now I just wanna talk to people...but it has to be healthy talk now. I've been, what I now recognise as, completely and holistically unwell for all of my life so far. But thankfully, I now believe...and know for sure that I can be healthy and well. We all can - In whatever way that looks like for you, and for me...for everyone. It's not an overnight process, but it does come down to a choice made in a moment. They never told me that forgiveness is a process, but now I know and I forgive because it does actually feel good for me. Forgiveness...is selfish, but in a good way. I reckon. Its saying, I'm over this kaka, and I am moving on, AND I'm growing from this experience. It's the ultimate two-finger salute of them all! Here's something crazy for you... I currently have a limit of 2500 characters to use when posting - it happens for all newbies, I think, BUT my nutty HFA brain must use ALL the characters, or else it goes cuckoo-bird for a bit. I'll make the rest of this post as painless as possible! I'm actually taking the complete mickey out of myself, 'cause at this stage of ones life...its important to accept ones 'crazy' moments. I have many. Whats yours? I have a thing with smells. Textures...etc etc I get that you may not want to share your 'crazy' but if you do, keep it clean and safe... All g.

SourceShield HFA - High Functioning Autism
  • replies: 0

Hi there. I would like to share how it is for me - living with an HFA brain, and maybe this will also resonate with any other HFA champions out here! Many of my HFA characteristics are actually non-typical in that, back when I was born, in the late 7... View more

Hi there. I would like to share how it is for me - living with an HFA brain, and maybe this will also resonate with any other HFA champions out here! Many of my HFA characteristics are actually non-typical in that, back when I was born, in the late 70s and in NZ, we really had no idea about HFA, so this condition went undiagnosed for many, many, many years - What this means is that, because no one was looking for or looking at the HFA, my behaviours - which would now be seen as TYPICAL HFA behaviours etc, were actually just seen as me being a naughty boy...and so that was the label that I wore. I lived up to that label. But, NOW - I know that its 'just' HFA. It means that we live in world of NEURODIVERSITY - means that our brains, though mostly of the same structure, are all wired differently! Thats all. Most people in the world are classified as NEUROTYPICAL - normal functioning brains, but some have Aspergers, and some a more severely debilitating form of autism, and others, like me, have HFA. HFA and Autism are untreatable, in that, this is how our brain is always gonna be! I used to see that as a blight but I have fully, as fully as I can, embraced the HFA - which is important. Making peace with something that is untreatable...is vital to ones holistic health...otherwise the battle becomes a never ending war, and that just gets really exhausting and can lead to other ailments and conditions. What most people dont get about HFA is that... Most people overthink - thats actually kinda normal, BUT with HFA, multiply that times a trillion! I feel that its important to turn what could be a negative into a positive, so I use my super-analytical brain to do wonderful things! People like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg have learned how to channel that 'energy' into worthy causes and goals and objectives etc. And, I too aspire to do great things with my life. But, its a misconception that all people with HFA are geniuses or have a high IQ, thats just not possible. Most HFA peeps are able to live a very good, healthy life but its also common for those of us that have developed non-typical responses to have developed anxiety disorders, major depressive episodes etc etc etc...especially if the HFA has gone untreated, as mine did. I am incredibly blessed and live a life full of rich and beautiful experiences but I still, like many here, have my down days and moments too. I'm here to support any person here with Autism, Aspergers or HFA. Peace

gld Promoting a better environment
  • replies: 3

Hi, How as a society/group promote a better environment in a workplace/public to help others who are finding things difficult and not sharing to have better outcomes. Gen

Hi, How as a society/group promote a better environment in a workplace/public to help others who are finding things difficult and not sharing to have better outcomes. Gen

Hopefulldance Does exercise improve mood or cause a crash
  • replies: 7

I have gone to crossfit several times now and every time without fail I crash. I have bipolar2. Does this happen to anyone else?

I have gone to crossfit several times now and every time without fail I crash. I have bipolar2. Does this happen to anyone else?

white knight Bipolar triggers
  • replies: 3

I'm writing this while in the depths if despair. I'm not sure of the statistics but suicide rates for bipolar sufferers is high about 20% or more. I can say I'm not suicidal currently and have referred to my suicidal path as being a one off period in... View more

I'm writing this while in the depths if despair. I'm not sure of the statistics but suicide rates for bipolar sufferers is high about 20% or more. I can say I'm not suicidal currently and have referred to my suicidal path as being a one off period in 1996, one week prior to my marriage ending. However, immediately a trigger arrives for the next period up to about 3 hours...sadly I feel the same as that sad time in 1996. To clarify, post upset, although it is likely normal for emotions to be elevated...my emotions are far beyond that. Do I think suicide thoughts?. No because I'm not planning anything and won't. But I do feel living is arduous and the regularity of upset is too often for me to cope with. What are the triggers? Being spoken to as a child. Eg if I leave a tool under the verandah and the next day I ask my wife where it is and get a reply "in your tool box where it should be". I will take that reply as being spoken to as if a mother to a 8 yo son. Bills. As a young man I was never good at managing money. I've handed over most of our finances to my good wife due to this. If we get an unexpected bill eg car repairs are always double of what's expected ...then its a trigger Nasty people. Some comments cut to the core on social media. I've regulated my use of it but you can't lock yourself away. Besides I do like interaction. Bit double edged really. Poor health. I have an extremely low pain threshold. This can make me ultra sensitive. Can other bipolar people relate to these issues? I presume the low lows of bipolar is what I'm talking about. Tony WK

V17 What would you want to do that would make you happy if money or time were not a factor?
  • replies: 17

I believe - more so now, especially now; that there is/has to be a purpose why I am on this earth. Before the pain; before the torment, the hurts and fears I've faced and am overcoming, there was a time - no mater how long ago it it was; I smiled. No... View more

I believe - more so now, especially now; that there is/has to be a purpose why I am on this earth. Before the pain; before the torment, the hurts and fears I've faced and am overcoming, there was a time - no mater how long ago it it was; I smiled. Not that smile you sow on your face to placate or appease but the heartfelt smile. My psych asked me this question the other day, "What would you want to do that would make you happy if money or time where not a factor". So I said, "Even if it takes 10 years?." She countered, "Even if it took 20." Okay. "What - like a job?" "A job, a pastime - anything that you need to work towards to achieve it." Shit. Okay. Alright. "I would write a book." Nod. Yeah. "What's stopping you?", she replied. Some where in the distance a dog barked. (hehe, sorry - had to) This has been a pivotal moment for me. Without going too much into detail other than to say I fired back many 'buts' at her, the question remained the same. This question and the dialogue that followed has been one of many beginnings to the journey I am now willing, not so much happy to - more determined - to undertake. No, it's not going to be easy - how can it be? - but, jeez; I love to write. So, may I ask you who is reading this - if not to post a reply, then to ask yourself.. what would you want to do that would make you happy if money or time were not a factor? I wish you the BEST of days. V.

white knight Coping with death
  • replies: 1

Probably one of the most difficult topics I've chosen to talk about, to make sense of and share. An old lady once my neighbour told me once "we are born alone and we die alone". That's solemn but to approach this subject we have to be frank. Life inc... View more

Probably one of the most difficult topics I've chosen to talk about, to make sense of and share. An old lady once my neighbour told me once "we are born alone and we die alone". That's solemn but to approach this subject we have to be frank. Life includes many things, one of those things is death. No other animal on earth realises more than humans that a loved one has died. Humans have such high intelligence we try to evaluate the journey our loved ones travel after dying. A High percentage of humans have chosen one of more than 5000 religions in order to grasp faith for what? In many cases its to feel that if there is life after death they will graduate into it and...live on. But here in life one of the most difficult challenges we have is coping with a loved one that has passed. Grief is huge because we cannot come to terms that our loved one will never return. Or if you believe it, you won't have them in this life...only in that place beyond life. Either way, your loss is more than substantial. Prior to my wonderful father passing in 1992 I couldn't cope with death. Now I can. What has changed?. It would be easy to say " l learned that death is part of life". But while that is accurate, its more complex. I asked my father a month before he died "are you scared of dying". To which he replied " not at all". Both of us are atheists so I then asked him "dad, how can you not be scared ".(dad was 64yo and had had several heart attacks). He told me that apart from eating healthily and mild exercise he could only do his best to prolong his life...from then on, " its out of my control". We often mention worry here on this forum. Worry is non productive and in fact contributes to anxiety. So on the topic of death of ourselves or a loved one, if we accept we have no control over the outcome then can that give us some relief about coping with it?. It has for me, maybe for you also. The twist in this is, I'm still an atheist but I believe there is another dimension to life. Call it spiritual, its the closest word I can find. But that also has given me comfort that there has to be something else out there post life...we have to go "somewhere". In a sense I've joined the believers in some way and its helped me. Finally, I think aging sends us to a more relaxing mentality with death. As our friends and relatives more often pass on we attend funerals regularly. Another reason to feel that death is part of life. its comforting, but never easy. Tony WK

gld Mood and weather
  • replies: 2

Hi, Today i woke up and felt like the rug was pulled out from underneath me. The weather was very overcast and very chilly after a period of nice warm days and cool mornings/nights. Does anyone else experience this when we have a change in weather li... View more

Hi, Today i woke up and felt like the rug was pulled out from underneath me. The weather was very overcast and very chilly after a period of nice warm days and cool mornings/nights. Does anyone else experience this when we have a change in weather like this and what things do you do to pull yourself out of it? Love to know if anyone else has ever had this happen or if it is something that happens when you are feeling a bit flat already. Gen