Alcohol Free Days

[Neil_1]

Hi all,

I've been thinking for some time now that it's time for me to come off the alcohol.  Beer is my weapon (drink) of choice ... well it's not actually a weapon, it's more of a very close and comforting friend.  Yeah, that's it.

Oh and before I go on and drive some of you insane ... AFD is my abbreviation of Alcohol Free Days ... and each year I count how many I have.  Well, not each year, I've only been doing it for the last five years.  Is that kind of Obsessive Compulsive;  oh and the fact that I keep a daily diary for what happened in my day EVERY day;  and that's been going on for, wow, I'm coming up to my 20th year of keeping my daily diary.

And it's in my daily diary that I record down my AFD's.

So for the month of February (laughter I hear from my fellow readers - with exclamations of "Nice work Neil, choose the shortest month! - and you wouldn't be far wrong either!) I am going to chalk up 28 AFD's.  Of late I've been hammering it pretty hard of a night and I think my body is screaming for a dry out period. 

So it's cold turkey straight away ... with no easing into it.  I usually chip away at this kind of thing each year for the first 4 or so months ... and then come early May for the last 5 years, I stop totally - for a period of gee, well from early May to late September/early October.  This is because I compete in natural bodybuilding competitions and so I've gotta have that amount of time to work off the adorable beer gut that is associated with the elixer of the gods.  And it's amazing, cause each year I get rid of it, and I actually then see (for only a brief period of time) the most shy, timid and hard to spot creatures in the whole world - and they would be my abs!!  They come out for a short while, but then after a brief appearance they scurry off again, not to be seen again for another year!  Timid little creatures they are.

However it does cause me much sadness to know that my local bottle shop will suffer incredibly during February financially speaking.

So there you have it folks ... February the 1st and it coincides with AFD 1 for Neil - I'm actually glad that I've posted this cause it'll also keep me focussed and on track.  Because now that all you know, I can't be letting you down.

And I will sign off with a simple, bye for the time being (and I'll leave the cheersing till next month) 🙂

Neil

[Neil_1]

Hi Scott

Thanx heaps for this message and again, I can’t thank everyone else enough either … both here on Community Board and also Depression.  I am aware, cause those threads are getting longer and longer.  🙂

I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not … but I find if I post here, it helps to distract me from my demons – most of the time.

Yes, professional support is happening – though, I haven’t seen my psychologist for a period of time, but I’ve made steps to see her again and my first opportunity is booked in for this time next week;  next Thursday morning.  She’s great, but wow, she’s hard to see … considering she now only works “once” a week and that’s only on Thursday mornings!   Yeah, I think I would like that way to work.

Yes, Day 5 is done and dusted … dusted being the operative word there, because it was “dry”.  Get it … dusted … dry … oh some days!!!  🙂

Cheers with water,

Neil

Ps:  mate, I love your suggestion and please please do … though if you do this, you may be scared by the amount that you would be taking on !!!!

[JessF]

Hi Neil re Febfast yes you got it right, although you can also choose to abstain from other things like caffeine, sugar and even the evil internet haha. There's another one called Dry July as well I believe.

[scorch]

Neil, I understand what you're saying about quelling the demons in your mind.  I used to try to numb mine out with my harmful addictions - alcohol, drugs, self harm etc... but I found they always came back louder and angrier straight after I came off my high, and I would feel worse than ever.

Now I use poetry and music to rid myself of the crazy, and it works so much better.  Whether it be through writing a story, growing a garden or building muscles through exercise - when we channel our demons into positive things it helps us feel worthwhile and like we actually CAN accomplish goals... instead of disappointed with ourselves and feeling like failures.

I'm overweight (although I carry it quite well) and I feel very disappointed with myself because I know I can be fitter.  I am trying to get into a routine, but it's hard.  Once I get on an exercise machine I'll stay for ages, work hard and feel great afterwards, however getting there in the first place is the tricky bit.

Hopefully I'll establish a routine and it'll become second nature.  I like routine, it helps to contain my anxiety.

I just want to say thanks for being such a great example and sharing your experiences on the forum.  Your example and the example of others on these forums inspire me to keep going.  Hopefully as I grow healthier I'll be able to help inspire others too.  🙂

[Stephen123]

Hi Neil, just checking in for AFD 5 or 6 I,m losing count. Went to my gp for some support yesterday. I,ve set a goal with the rehab person that I will not consume any alcohol. I,m hanging in there but it,s bloody hard work. If I can get back to staying away from the elixir of the gods then stage 2 will be my special healthy diet and exercise but for now I just want to get to the end of Feb with you and hopefully into the future. I hope you,re doing ok Neil, has the urge subsided any? When I catch myself thinking about a nice cold beer I treat it like when I gave up smoking and change my thoughts to the horrible negative effects of alcohol. Good luck Neil, I,m there with you buddy.

[Scott_Depression]

Hi again Neil

Don't have much to say except to reinforce that I empathise with what you're going through.

Just keep in mind, you are unwell at the moment.  You've made your appointment - a great positive - well done!  This might be obvious, but keep in mind things aren't as bad as you think they are - it's this stupid disease we all battle with at times messing with you!  Know I'm preaching to the chior, but keep in mind IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.  Damn brain chemicals are out of balance!!

We're in your corner, mate!

Kind regards

Scott

[Jo3]

Hey Neil

Thinking of you and hope you're doing okay.  Not much for words this morning but have you on my mind.

Take care

Jo

[Neil_1]

Hi Scorch

Thank you for your post and your kind words … indeed, thank you to all with your wonderfully kind responses and words. 

It’s now not a struggle with the AFD’s, I’ve adjusted ok … but I guess it’s a little bit like the passion to want to cry.  The more you think about it, the more it won’t happen. 

So now it’s been a week (good enough) since I’ve had a beer, do I feel better for being off the grog – as in depression wise??  Excellent question Neil and I’d have to say the answer is “no”. 

In fact, I feel the depressive feelings are just as strong if not stronger … maybe it’s me ‘wishing’ or ‘hoping’ that now I’m off the alcohol that I should be better???   Maybe I haven’t given it enough time?? 

However, I will say that during each year when I normally do this in a much longer format – usually from early May through to end September/early October, I’m completely off the grog for all of that time and yet I still feel just as bad with depression through that time as I do when I’m having my nightly beers.

Anyone?  Can anyone possibly provide some kind of response or answer to that???  

Hi Stephen,

Mate, I’m stoked for you that you’re going along well with this … if you’re at home and you get the feeling for a nice cold one, that’s ok … just as long as you’ve got NONE in the house, that’s the key.  Don’t have any, don’t buy any and just keeping yourself occupied of an evening – not sure what you’re like with water, but I drink it all the time, all year round, so that’s a big help. 

 I’ve also used chewing ‘extra’ chewy gum as a thing to occupy myself (but that’s more so when I’m in my diet phase heading towards my bodybuilding comps), so extra chewy is a good deterrent … and it’s got the less sugar in it, that’s why I’m plugging that product. 

Another useful technique and this can be used for wanting to snack as the night goes by is to go and brush your teeth.  Give ‘em a good clean with toothpaste and then go about your business;  watching tv or reading or whatever it is.  With a nice mouthful of deliciousness caused by the toothpaste, your mind/brain thinks, well I can’t possibly be having anything now – I mean, I’ve just brushed.

Keep rocking along Stephen … 6 AFD’s now … keep ‘em coming.  

Thanx Scott for your message to me … we might need to add Stephen into this post for those providing the support seeing as he’s belting out the AFD’s with me.  🙂

You know the more I think about it, the more I just don’t know.  I mean I’m on this heavy cocktail of different meds and yet, I’m still feeling the way I’m feeling – which overall isn’t very good.  I’m in a work area that is so awfully bad for me and that’s where my psychiatrist (my prescriber of my meds) says that if I can get out of that area, he thinks I’ll be in a much better state of mind.  I kind of agree with him – but only time will tell.  There is news afoot that I could be moving from where I am – so that’s something.  Not just yet though. But if I do end up moving from here to another place, then it’ll be the monitoring of how I am then as to see if these meds are doing what they should be doing.  I’ve been on them for quite a number of years now and along with that they’ve been kind of steadily increasing in their intensity as well.

Cheers to all with water

Neil

[Stephen123]

Hi Neil just checking in for some positive reinforcement. I,m still hanging in there hope you are 2. Just heading of to the fridge now for a nice cold sparkling mineral water. 

Cheers with water

[Neil_1]

Hey Stephen,

Yes, cheersing with water is still happening.  And we're 'almost' half way there.  I feel like I'm in the groove now and have no inkling for a quiet one - I guess when my mind set kicks in, it's really strong.  Hence why I can't beat this depression either.  But that's another story.

Good on you pal, you're doing great ... I hope you're not having cravings.  If you are, then I hope my last post was helpful.  I'm also getting into some "Lipton Ice Tea Light green tea Lemon flavoured" at night time ... damn, it's a tasty drop.  I have some of that and then a bit later, I'll make a pot of green tea and have that ... that's about a litre of that.

Hey, I was going to tell you my plan as well ... and that is, I'm planning on keeping this little sobriety period going till the NRL footy commences, which I believe is the 6th March.  The following week the AFL commences as well;  and nothing more enjoyable than sitting having a beer watching the footy.  Well there probably is but this is a family show!   Just kidding folks ... I think having a beer near the ocean or when it's raining and you've got a tin roof is also brilliant.  Damn I digress far too much.

Back to my plan Stephen ... so as far as I can tell or advise, I'll be back having a few quiet ones from 6th March to the end of March.

I will then jump either on or off the wagon again ... I can never determine which one it is ... and so for the month of April I am again planning on being "dry" for that month, so another good lot of 30 or so days ... all hopefully with the plan of giving me some time off it, possibly let the tummy come in a few centimetres and perhaps a bit of weight off as well.

My first week off it revealed a loss of 600g ... nothing huge, but a head in the right direction.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Neil

[Scott_Depression]

Hey Neil

Just a quick note to say hi!  Wow, mate, you really know how to set a scene - sitting under a tin roof, watching the ocean...can almost smell the sea!

How's your mood going?  Any effect from getting off the beers?

I really hope you're getting into happier territory - yell out if there is anything I can do to help

Kind regards

Scott