Alcohol Free Days (part 2)

[Neil_1]

Hi folks

April is fast approaching and as a result of the start of a new month I'm going to get off the grog again.  Made it through in February - just that little bit tougher in April though - cause there's a couple more days to get through!!  🙂

If any Beyond Blue poster/community member who reckons they'd like to give this challenge a go with me, I'd LOVE to hear from you on this thread - it'll all commence on Tuesday, so prior to then whoever is interested in trying this, just make sure you've got no more alky-hole in your home cause that'll remove any temptation.  Just a first tip I guess.

No dramas at all if there's no-one, but I just thought I'd put this out there for anyone who is thinking that now might be a good time to have a bit of a 'dry-out'.

ALSO, if any one "does" come on board, again absolutely no dramas if you drop off at some stage.  It's the process of giving it a go is the main thing.

Cheers beers (for a couple more days anyway!)  🙂

Neil

[Vera55]

Oh hello Scorch. Welcome back. And good on you for being able to observe your habits. Addictions are so hard. And I think you are totally spot on when you say about an addiction just going to another thing. It's the craving isn't it? Wether it's choc or sweet things, or salty .... You name it someone has an addiction to it.

if I could stick to moderation of all things I would be ok. Last year I picked up quilting as a past time and off I went. I have enough fabrics to sew for 3 lifetimes and more, sewing machines, cottons etc. and that's ok on its own. But I keep everything and because I love all crafts, you can just imagine the state of my house. Screen printing, woodwork, sewing, drawing and so on. Whole areas dedicated to crafts. Now I think, mmm welding, I haven't tried welding yet. Lordy. Save me.

yes social occasions and having a drink. If we could just talk self acceptance to ourselves. We are such complex creatures aren't we? Keep us informed how you go. Vera

[guest75]

I have been very bad at this...Im not even trying to give up alcohol, just stinking coke and even that i cant do

We are at the 11th today, and i think Ive had coke on at least 5 of those days (a few times i forgot as i had McDonalds for lunch at work) but other days i just felt like it so had some...I havent had any in the last 3 days, and hopefully i can get to the end of april without anymore

[Neil_1]

Vera,

The human person is a weird animal, that’s for sure.  Yes, we can give out advice and support and guidance to others, but to listen to ourselves is virtually impossible.  I guess that could fill an entire seminar/conference on that very subject and I suppose that people have done that in the past and no doubt will continue in the future.

Sounds like you’ve got some interesting plans ahead of you and decisions to make – from what I can make out though, it sounds like there’s no real urgency with them – as in some competing deadline that you have to have come up with answers by a certain time – and if that’s the case then that is a very good situation to be in.  Just to take your time and work out the best possible option(s) for you.

Scorch: 

With regard to your upcoming party – it’s a costume party so go as something really unidentifiable if you can and also something perhaps that make it difficult to remove the head-piece, I say that cause that’ll make it so much harder for you to have a drink. 

Having said that, it IS a party after-all and why not indulge just for the night??  That is a massive effort I must say though – if you’re going and the only people you know are the hosts.  I think that possibly DOES require intake of alcohol to assist.  Up to you Scorch on how you decide – but which ever way it is, it IS the right way – there are no wrong choices for you in this.

Another interesting phenomena with regard to the ‘off drinking’ but thinking about a cigarette – especially considering that it’s been such a long time since you’ve partook in one.  It’s that human body again with how it reacts to certain things.

Kind regards

Neil

[Vera55]

Hello all. Oh Mattyj if I was dealing with as many changes and issues as you are I don't think cans of coke would figure highly on my list of things I need to consider this month! What do you think? It doesn't matter in the big schemes of what you are dealing with. But if not having coke provides you with a certain feeling of control then that's ok. Good on you.

My god Neil. You are so spot on. I know I am heading towards some big decisions that have been percolating in the back of my head but I have no idea yet what they are. I just know they are gaining strength. I also know that I can't rush them. Decisions that is. I don't look up the mountain (I liked that in a past post) but plod along daily, day by day. I am lucky that I don't have to do anything if I choose not to. Worked really hard to get to this point. Your book is constantly in the back of my mind too, as I would like to do something like that just for my family really. And I might. Will have to improve my grammar though. Shocking.

till tonight dear travelers. V.

[Neil_1]

Matty;

Whichever way you decide for your coca-cola, it'll be the right decision.  In the greater scheme of things, what's the most important thing here is YOU.  Is your beautiful children - so do whatever you feel is right.  We won't judge you - and therefore if we're not going to, then you shouldn't do that to yourself either.  🙂

Vera

I love that phrase - percolating in the back of your head - it conjures up some images of real mind work and brain power.

Yes, that mountain quote is something that I've used to myself so many times - and more often than not when in the gym or out on a run, as I actually literally do it.  Ok, it might not be a mountain, but I'm running up a road with an incline and the first body reaction is to stop and walk.  But no, I tell myself get to the next letterbox or to the next light pole or to the next tree or to the next rock - all dependent on where you are out running.  And DON'T look too far ahead cause it can just destroy yourself and make you pack it in - when really you don't have to pack it in.  Just take it in little chunks - bit by bit.

My book.   Ahhhh yes, if only.  I say this cause it's really a manuscript at the moment and if (or hopefully "when") it gets to a book THEN I'll have something to be hellishly proud about.

Vera, I think you really should.  I started mine oh, a number of years ago, and it was firstly done by me just sitting down at the computer with a word document and typing my thoughts.  Typing down what depression was doing to me - what I was experiencing - how it was making me feel - for work, for home, for social, for family, for friends.   I'd do a bit and then save it.  Come back another time and either add to that OR start a new bit.  These bits slowly came together.  But they were really all over the shop  and that was ok cause at that stage it was just me putting my thoughts down - it was a kind of therapy for me.  To capture at a particular moment just how I was feeling and what my mental illness was doing to me.

Think about it - think about your past experiences and perhaps if you'd like to start up something - put little headings and begin to write under them.  Things that have happened to you, circumstances you've been in, how it felt, how you reacted and got through, etc.

This probably isn't the best thread to be chatting about this, but if you want to start up another thread somewhere I'd be heaps happy to give you more advice AND motivation to get something started.

Cheers

Neil

ps:  still 3 DOG days for me for April so far.  I'm aiming for 10 DOG's for April.  🙂

[Vera55]

You champion! Well done.

yes I am building up to actually starting a thread but I want my intent to be clear. Just something that is important to me. Or maybe I just don't have the confidence yet. I know it's silly but what if no one joins in? Yes we all have our little foibles. (?) 

Next week I will be starting to scan all my years of negatives and slides into my brand new iMac. That process will bring up so many memories that I will write about the photos and start putting something together. 

I have boxes of journals too. I don't like reading them and have thrown many out because they are a product of a sick mind and not helpful to anyone including myself.

[scorch]

Good job Neil!  I like your target of 10 DOGs. 🙂 

The party was interesting.  I didn't have a drink, which took a lot of willpower... but I think it was mainly because I actually met a nice married couple and spent most of the night hiding out with them in the backyard around the fire.  Usually parties are a nightmare for me, because I'm kind of shy and usually really bad at conversation.  Having a drink in your hands can give you something to do when the conversation dries up, or an excuse to get out of an awkward situation.

I just am not interested in most of the stuff that happens at a party, I'd rather be relaxing by a river somewhere, surrounded by nature and having a quiet chat with one or two good friends (though they are few and far between) - or even just sitting and not talking much at all.  Loud music, forced communication with strangers, remembering people's names, crowds... they set my anxiety into overdrive.  I came out of the party emotionally tired, but not at full break down mode - so I'm counting it as a win.

Yesterday we had a family function for my hubby's grandparent's 58th wedding anniversary.  That was a lot more awkward for me.  Talking with hubby's cousins and aunties etc... I don't know why I find it so hard. 

Anyway, to finish off.  This weekend was really difficult, I was so tempted to have a drink (or quite a few drinks) but somehow I managed to say no.  I'm feeling very drained today though, but proud of getting through a tough weekend. 

[CrashCoyote]

Hi Neil,

I must confess to having "screwed the pooch" tonight. I have single handedly knocked over a bottle of ouzo and, like many seasoned drinkers, am barely affected. Vera, it is all down to you girl.

Still, that is sixteen days with only one other slip, quite a milestone for me and I'm not giving up on the rest of the month. Today was just a tough day.

I am sorry for disappointing anyone if I did, but I won't say "die". To quote Lucy Montgomery,  “Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” 

Kind regards, John.

[geoff]

dear Vera, sorry I hadn't checked this post out and then it was pushed away, because of in activity.

Being at the cross roads for you really is because your emotions form because you have addictions and obsessive behaviours, so in turn these force you into the direction you take. L Geoff. x

[scorch]

John I really like your attitude, you're getting right back on that horse.  I think positive self talk is one of the best things we can do for ourselves, and you're showing a great example of that.

I caved in last night too.  I had a really bad day so my hubby took me out for tea, well I ended up ordering a few cocktails with my meal.  But like John, I recognise that sixteen days is a good effort, and I'll be starting my count over again.  If I can get through this month with only one day of drinking, I think that's a pretty good accomplishment.