30 seconds of survival during tough times: what is yours today?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I have a little survival idea that want to run by you all:

I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking:

If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds?

You can write as often as you like or as infrequently as you like. It also doesn’t have to be 30 seconds either. That’s just a number that I chose, because I thought it would be doable for most people. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival.

I would love to hear from you 🙂

I’ll start:

On my way to work, I spotted some Christmas decorations, and instantly thought “oh, that’s so pretty!”

30 seconds of relief from my troubles. 30 seconds of survival.

Background/inspiration for this thread:

I was inspired by a book that I’ve been reading. It’s based on real life events where a woman lost her husband unexpectedly, and was left both a widow & single parent overnight.

As you can imagine, she struggled with immense grief and loss, and was unsure when she would be able to see beyond it...reminders of him were everywhere, and she wasn’t sure when the pain would ever subside.

But during a work meeting, while giving a presentation (or maybe she was chairing a meeting?), in that brief period, she forgot about her loss as she was immersed in her work. Sure, of course, her grief returned (as it often does). But in that brief moment, she felt a sense of “normalcy”, if there ever was such a thing.

Okay, so maybe work won’t be your “thing” and maybe it’s not grief that you’re struggling with. Maybe it’s something else (that’s okay and valid).

What I’m getting at is recognising our capacity to survive by recalling brief moments of survival. It all adds up...

Moments when either your pain, heartbreak, loss, disappointment (whatever you’re going through) was temporarily forgotten or even subsided a little. Moments, however fleeting but nonetheless important, of survival 🙂

[felix mendelssohn]

Hi there, I'm new to this thread and forum (but I know Tayla! Hey Tayla!) so I hope you don't mind me barging in like this, but I had a think and thought of a 30 second moment that is applicable, although it's sort of weird...

So I was cooking a curry the other day and using way too much oil as I always do (total novice). When it came to cleaning up the saucepan, all of the excess oil formed a layer on the surface of the water (polar, non-polar bonds and such), which I suppose is pretty cool in and of itself. But then the really awesome thing was when I added some detergent, and in a ripple effect the layer of oil dissolved as it merged with the water. It was honestly fascinating to watch. It made me think about how beauty can be found in even the most mundane of tasks and for a moment rekindled a child-like admiration for the natural sciences! Anyway, hope you're all well.

Felix

[monkey_magic]

My 30 SEC of survival would be tucking into a row of Cadbury's dairy milk chocolate and letting it melt into my mouth....

[Guest_1643]

Thanks for sharing about the walk, Gambit. Sounds great. Hoping you are well. - Vanessa

[Gambit87]

Hi Vanessa,

I'm doing pretty alright actually - having a good run at things at the moment. I hope you're doing alright!

My 30 seconds today - I treated myself to a doughnut.

For years I never treated myself to much (debt and having a job that pays peanuts) so Ive always just lived on the basics only buying things when I needed them etc. I am now debt free - but I still live the mentality that I need to save money and not spend.

I'm slowly getting used to the idea that its ok to spend money and treat yourself sometimes.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

I've given myself a right treat and bought some noise cancelling headphones. I'm in my own little world now and gee it's nice in here 🙂

This thread is great. Love reading everyone's little pieces of joy ❤️

[Guest_1643]

My friends tried to help me today by giving me a new couch they heard someone was giving away. Didn't work out. But it was a nice feeling to see people follow through and go to effort to help. Circle of kindness!

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful people,

As always, thank you so much for sharing your moments of relief, respite or other insights here.

Everyone is most welcome here 🙂

Tayla: you’re most welcome. Thank you for your encouragement & support.

I hope your psychiatrist appointment went well. I like how you’re taking care of your own mental health.

Gambit: Like Sleepy, I’m also happy for you that you agreed to the walk. I think sometimes things can work out when we push ourselves a little.

Congratulations on your current debt free status. I know that would have required discipline & hard work to get there. Well done 🙂

I love how you’re learning that it’s okay to treat yourself sometimes now. That doughnut sounds absolutely delicious!

Sleepy21: thank you so much for your kind words. They moved me so thank you...

I think it was a very caring & generous gesture from your friends. Even though it didn’t work out with the couch, I think their efforts/actions showed their care.

Felix: a very warm & caring welcome to both the forums & this thread. Thank you so much for contributing here

Please don’t worry about “barging in.” That is not the case at all, as everyone is welcome here 🙂

It looks like you & I have that cooking novice thing in common. I’m trying to cook more these days, & let’s just say there is a lot of trial & error in my case.

You sound as though you were transfixed by the dissolving oil. What a beautiful sight & moment of wonder & awe.

I absolutely loved what you said:

It made me think about how beauty can be found in even the most mundane of tasks and for a moment rekindled a child-like admiration for the natural sciences!

monkey_magic: the joys of chocolate 😉

You clearly enjoyed it & I’m happy for that. I think sweet treats here & there can give us feelings of comfort & relief.

katyonthehamsterwheel: thank you so much. It makes me happy that this thread is resonating with you.

Oh yes, noise cancellation headphones are a wonderful invention. Your own little world sounds like just where you need to be sometimes.

It must be nice to have moments of peace from outside noise & chaos.

Thank you all for reading and/or contributing. You’re all appreciated.

Kindness & care,

Pepper

[Guest_1643]

Hi Felix and welcome. Hey MonkeyMagic, Tayla, Mark, Pepper, Gambit. Nice one Katy with the noise-cancelling headphones!! You're amazing that you take pleasure from reading these little joy-bites. It makes me feel less alone. Today was hard. I remembered a nice woman at BeyondBlue reminded me about music when you are anxious. My moment was listening to a great song in my car and getting lost in that moment. Really needed that space from my own thoughts.

[PhoebeWings]

I’ve just found this thread and have enjoyed reading your experiences with my morning coffee.

Especially Felix with the oil/water and soap - I love watching little universes form before our very eyes, in puddles, cobwebs or anywhere!

Here’s my experience this week..

Firstly, to be fair - I’m in a good space at the moment and have been for most of Feb.

Monkey-Magic and Peppermint especially wrote some thoughts that resonated for me on other threads - heads up and thank you!!!

Anyway, I went to see the cattle who come and feed in the fields at the bottom of our lane, and one special one has taken to coming when I call his name.

Yesterday, he flipped his funny cow tongue out and slurped over my extended hand and wrist.. then as I patted his head, he raised up his wet muzzle and showed me his wonderfully straight top row of teeth.

It was funny at the time.

Then he ducked his head down for more pats and scratches. A sweet moment.

So, last night, lying in bed, I was remembering this, and as his dear moo-head loomed in front of me (in my minds eye) - I realised I was grinning. Lying in the dark grinning. And a distinctly warm glow was in my heart and soul.

What is special about this is that despite many nice things that I experience or look for ( and enjoy) - it’s been awhile since I’ve felt a really good feeling that’s actually been as strong as a ‘glow’.

Sitting with my feelings is paying off - me thinks.

Simple beautiful things - right there, just there ❤️

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful people,

As I like to always say, thank you for being here. I’m grateful for all that you share here, & I’m also thankful if you’re content reading along.

Everyone is welcome here 🙂

Sleepy: things sound as though they’ve been a struggle for you...

I feel saddened about how rough things have been, but smiled when you said that you found solace in music. Losing yourself in music sounds like just the relief you needed.

Thank you so much for reminding us of the healing power of music. I’m thinking of you during this difficult time...

Phoebe: your words were inspiring & beautiful. It made me smile, as I’m sure others did too..

I agree that sometimes it’s unexpected moments that can be amongst the most powerful ones. What a special bond you share with the bull. He clearly trusts you...

I smiled again when I read that sitting with your feelings is paying off. That is something to be cherished...

What you’re saying makes sense to me...I think sometimes if we consistently try to avoid/ignore painful emotions, we (unintentionally & inadvertently) also shut off our capacity to feel the more pleasant emotions...yes, we might still be able to feel pleasant emotions, but it’s not as rich as it could be...

But I think when we start sitting with our difficult feelings, our capacity to feel pleasant emotions also becomes more enhanced...richer, more vibrant and deeper over time...

That is in my own experience at least...your special “glow” moment reminds me a little of my own recent moment of genuine peace.

Not necessarily the same emotion, but the common thread is I think both moments can be traced to practising sitting with our feelings, both the pleasant and unpleasant, over time...

Thank you for sharing such a precious moment with us.

Thank you all for reading 🙂

Kindness and care,

Pepper