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Trying to come out - My head makes no sense!

Community Member
Ok, so i came out to two friends when i was about 12 saying i liked one of the friends (I am female btw and so is she) it was a big thing for a few weeks but they soon forgot about it (seems like i forgot about it coz one friend still remembers it) I am now 17 and i am finally starting to realise i dont think it was just a fase of being Bi. But i still dont know... my brain just seems so all over the place i never know anything its trying to figure out. 

My main question is, how did you know yor sexuality was/is true. I know not all label themselves but it would be nice to finally work it out. 
4 Replies 4

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member


i kind of know how you feel. I am a male and came out to some close friends when I was around 13 but was very scared to make to commitment of coming out at a later time when I was in senior secondary school. I still wasn't sure at the time who I was or what I wanted to be. I dated a few girls to try and mask my feelings but at the end of the day I knew I was not being true to myself. My advice is don't come out until you feel as if it's the right thing to do. I still question how my life would have been if I had not chosen to come out but I am thankful that I did and for the life that I have. I know you probably won't like hearing this as I hate hearing it myself , but you are still young. Do what you think is right in your heart. 


Hi BL, welcome here to BB forums

I just thought I'd mention something.

Recently there was a survey taken at an old persons home.  Asked what there biggest regret in life was - it was that at times they werent true to themselves.  They had realised at their twilight times that life had gone so quickly that had they had their time again.....they would have done more of what they wanted to do, not based on what others think they should do.

Time will tell in your case, that in the end, say 5 years from now, you'll know more about yourself. Give yourself time to know yourself and be proud of what you find out.

Take care   Tony WK

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear BL, I too would like to welcome you to the site.

I'm not sure how big your support group is, however in regard to your question it's going to torment you everyday, the questions you will always be asking yourself 'do I like him or her', or 'who do you think I would be better off with him or her', well you go on looks first, then their personality and what they say to their friends, and this could change from person to person and will happen everyday.

One day you may give the male gender a tick, then the next day the female the tick of approval, so your still unconvinced and confused, or you maybe sitting with a group of people and someone takes your eye, or the same on what's happening on TV, so this is going to be an on going attraction.

Why don't you ask a male to go to the local cricket, or perhaps a female ten pin bowling, as you will no doubt watch them bowl.

I know that your anxious to find out, but don't rush into making a decision, because day by day it will build on you. Geoff.

Community Member

Hello Bunny_Love_1777,

This is my first post on a forum, but after reading your post, you are very courageous and 'being true to your yourself' is a positive affirmation to keep in mind when you feel life is challenging, WK putting into text of a survey really helps to ground this.  Maybe seek out some reliable articles that discuss sexuality and its fluidity. It may help to ease the sense of having to make a final decision, I honestly don't believe that sexuality for everyone is a black and white decision.

Keep safe