I feel like I'm in too deep....

[Jah-eva]

Hi,

I don't know where to start seems like there is too much but here goes...

My partner suffers from severe depression, bad anxiety, she had a lot of attachment dissorders, she selfharms, suicidal, she identifies as an a sexual plus she's on the spectrum.  She is in therapy and had been for most of her life plus on medication so everything is in place to help her cope.

so the issue is me,  lately I'm struggling to cope with keeping her up and safe and just living at the moment. It's a real hard spot at the moment.  I don't have any friends or family around me as I moved interstate to be with her so being able to debrief and have time to myself isn't happening so that's why I'm here to ask for some coping strategies to deal with this. 

It's hard for me to be the happy one keeping it all together when really I just want to curl up and cry but I can't cause she needs me to keep her happy and me being down will make her worse. 

[white knight]

Hi Jah-eva  welcome to beyond Blue forums

There is no reason why you cant justify yourself getting help. Trained counsellor consultation to teach you strategies.

Carers are under enormous stress. Dont be too hard on yourself. Everyone needs looking after sometimes.

Take care.   Tony wK

[geoff]

dear Jah-eva, thanks for posting your comment.

I wonder whether her therapy is working, although I must say this with my tongue in my cheek, because I was with my psychologist for 20 years, but eventually I had recovered so I only went to her just to talk about what has happened, and I didn't want to mention to anyone else.

There is only so much a carer can take, and yes you should be seeing a counsellor as well, not that she needs to know about.

We hope that you can get back to us and explain a bit more, and as you say she has 'attachment disorders', so this could involve a lot of problems. Geoff.

[Jah-eva]

Hi.

Thank you for the support. I do have my own therapist I see to help me with strategies to cope when it gets really bad. 

She has got a new therapist as well as she needs one who can help her with her gender issues at the moment as well. 

A lot of the issues come from her attachment dissorders. That's the hard part I find the most as when I try to communicate how I'm not coping it triggers her attachment.  She is trying so hard to get to a place where we both can have a balance. 

We are just going through a rough patch. It's got to get worse before it gets easier right?  🙂