Sex on premises venues - how is your mental health affected?

[Paul]

SOP (Sex on Premises) venues such as a gay men's sauna, a sex club or a "back room" at a club or pub...

I've found that sometimes a visit can be therapeutic and other times it can be challenging to keep myself from being negatively affected. If I meet someone and we have a nice chat, a great cuddle and kiss and not necessarily anything else it can stave off feeling lonely. Other times if I find the crowd to be pretentious or no one takes a second look at me it can be really difficult not to feel rejected and it can affect my mood and even lead to a depressive episode.

What are your thoughts (even if you don't visit SOP venues) would or does it affect you and in what way?

I know that some people just seek sex - I wonder how this affects emotional well being.

Are STI's a trigger or concern?

Paul

[Gruffudd]

About as close as I could get to that here would be down at the enchanted forest (where the fairies come out at night) in the park by the river. Mind you Grinder seems to have taken over and the forest is losing its magic...

Given that I am more interested in relationship than sex it is not the best way for me to engage with others and stay feeling OK, I have friends for whom it seems to be one way that they break isolation and feel good about themselves. I would love it if it were more often that we didn't need to have sex as the starting point or the only point of contact with others, because when we give it time there is so much that is good to be discovered.

Rob.

[justinok]

I've been a handful of times over the years to SOP venues, never to beats.. I find it strange in this day and age that guys would still use beats, they seem a hangover from the deeply closeted days to me, and I think a lot of guys do it just for the excitement and danger factor. 

I think the biggest risk is for guys who go to SOP venues totally off their faces and end up having anonymous sex with lots of different partners. Sex can be just as much of an escape for some people as alcohol or drugs. 

[Paul]

Hey justinok,

I guess if someone is a bit strapped for cash they might find a beat better. Interestingly a friend NEVER goes to a sauna because they are "dirty places" but will go to a beat. Show that our perceptions are so varied.

I agree with you on the risk of SOP venues and people off their faces it can only take one partner and an absence of judgement to go home with more than a grin where substances are involved.

I'd be interested to hear from folks who have experienced being under the influence and how it affects their judgement when it comes to firstly going to a venue and secondly safer sex. Also interested to know if difficult emotions led to taking/using a substance and concern for safer sex just wasn't there.

Paul