Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

My homaphobic mother

Community Member

I am going through a tough time. I just got a girlfriend, and my mum knows about our relationship. My mum isn't happy about it she's saying that I should just be friends with her. My mum was saying she should tell my Psychologist about it. She can't even stop trying to talk me out of it. I just want her to accept that I'm bisexual. I'm not sure about what my dad thinks of it. 

2 Replies 2

Community Champion
Community Champion

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time with your relationship and your mum. It can be really hard when those closest to us don't support us, especially when it comes to something as personal as our relationships.


It sounds like you're feeling frustrated and like your identity isn't being accepted. Please know that you have the right to be in a relationship with whoever makes you happy. 


I don't know about your psychologist, but sure they would be on your side in this matter. They might also be able to offer you some support and guidance. I don't really have many ideas except listening ...

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Vlora123~

Welcome here to the Forum. I think it was a good move on your part as you will see many have faced similar problems with parents, and that way you will know you are not alone.


I was pleased to read you have found a girlfriend. Having somone close to you is one of the great things in life, and I'm hoping it works out well.


Your mother - as you say - does not seem to accept you are bi and tries to talk you out of it, which is downright silly. She may well be frightened you are making a mistake, however what is a mistake in her eyes does not match real life. It is probably more a result of her upbringing and I'd hope in time she may see things differently.


To realise parents have limitations can be pretty upsetting


If she were sensible and pointed out that some people in society give bi people a had time and offered to support you if that ever happened that would be more like it. Also be welcoming to your girlfriend.


If your psychologist did get to know that might not be a bad thing, as they would then have an idea of another  problem you were facing and I'd hope would offer support. You realise that apart from exceptional circumstances parents do not have the right to join in young people's consultations unless invited.


I would imagine it is also a problem for your girlfriend too. To be accepted by one's friend's parents is important, and  can otherwise make one feel rejected - do you know how she feels?


You do need people on your side who have a sense of perspective - is it worth talkng to your dad or anyone else in your family do you think? Having an ally does help.


I'd also suggest getting in touch wiht Qlife (1800 184 527) who are very experienced and offer phone and web-chat from 3pm to midnight every day


I hope we get a chance to talk more