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how do i come out?

Community Member

hi. my name is Oliver... wow that feels weird? but good to say, i am a trans boy my pronouns are he/they and im 13. i dont know how to come out. its scary. i want to bind. i want to start T or even just hormone blockers. but i am not out ot my family yet and i honestly dont think i can come out to them.

i came out to my mum as pan about 9 months ago and she fully accepted me. my brother and dad now know but they dont really care. but i know my family i know my mum she wont understand the whole trans thing and i cant even imagine talking to my brother or dad once i come out, my relationship would be so unatural with my dad after and my brother is transphobic.

i hate being trans, why arent i cis? i was meant to be a boy anyway. i was the first 'girl' born in my family for 90 years!! why me why was i the one to come out the wrong gender

4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hi Oliver,

As I am not trans I don't understand completely what you're going through, but I would suggest that if you really want to start hormone blockers (anything else) then you should just do it. Maybe try separating them? Tell them one at a time, and maybe leave your brother for last, so you can get a good idea of supporters and who understands somewhat? Again, I don't completely understand but just go slow ok. I am pan though so I understand that part.

Community Member

Hi, Oliver.

I understand what you're going through, I'm having a similar situation with coming out as non-binary to my parents. It's completely alright to think you were born as the wrong gender, but don't think of it as a bad thing. Even if you were the first girl in your family for a while, don't think it's an obligation to stay that way!

Community Member

Oliver , you are brave and welcome here .

I am mtf trans and my journey is quite new . Your true self is so incredibly important , to know and to cherish . Safety for you mentally and physically is equally important . Peoples reactions will vary and that needs to be accepted and kept in mind .

I have come out to some people who are close to me ( and health professionals ) . Am happy yet surprised with some reactions .

Quite a while ago Mspurple had in a post a link to a you tube video . I have used it to help educate some that were unaware of the gender spectrum , that has opened some up to searching for more understanding .

LUKA " The Gender Code " . I have found this very useful .

Hope this helps a little ( or a lot ) we are here for you . Support is key right now .

Huge hugs and let us know how you are going .

Love and peace , Jo

Community Member
I am blessed to be the Aunty of a wonderful child born with both female and male chromosomes.
Everyday I see how marvelous and wonderful it is to share my life with my wonderful perfect friend who loves to love and be kind. Please know good kind people love you because they see your soul not your sexuality . Don't listen to the cowardly thoughts of ignorant angry confused dumb dumbs. Try and listen to the good kind people hidden all around . They like me, think you are perfect . You matter you will get through this. You deserve love and kindness. Stay strong. FTH