Heterosexual Privilege

[Gruffudd]

There are certain things that I as a queer person have to think about, face up to, confront, suffer, that heterosexual people can live with as some kind of privilege and take for granted. Lucky them, so I thought I'd make a list of some of those things from my experience and the brains trust on the internet, just to say to other LGBTI people, you are not alone.

1. Expressing affection in most social situations and not expecting hostile or violent reactions from others.
2. Expecting to be around others of your sexuality most of the time. Not worrying about being the only one of your sexuality in a class, on a job, or in a social situation.
3. Living with your partner and doing so openly.
4. Expressing pain when a relationship ends from death or separation and receiving support from others.
5. Learning about romance and relationships from fiction movies and television.
6. Raise, adopt, and teach children without people believing that you will molest them or force them into your sexuality.
7. Not having to hide or lie about women/men only social activities.
8. Acting, dressing, or talking as you choose without it being a reflection on people of your sexuality.
9. Joint child custody or being recognised as the other parent on a birth certificate.
10. Going wherever you wish and know that you will not be harassed, beaten, or killed because of your sexuality.
11. Not worrying about being mistreated by the police or victimized by the criminal justice system because of your sexuality.
12. Legal marriage to the person you love.
13. Knowing that your basic civil rights will not be denied or outlawed because some people disapprove of your sexuality.
14. Expect that your children will be given texts in school that support your kind of family unit and they will not be taught that your sexuality is a “perversion.”
15. Belonging to the religious denomination of your choice and know that your sexuality will not be denounced by its religious leaders.
16. Knowing that you will not be fired from a job or denied a promotion based on your sexuality.
17. Talking openly about your relationship, holidays, and family planning you and your lover/partner are doing.
18. Immediate access to your loved one in case of accident or emergency.
19. Having positive and accurate media images of people with whom you can identify.
20. Having role models of your gender and sexual orientation.

​and I know there are more things that could be on the list... add them if you like.

[white knight]

Rob

Thankyou for your list. Several things there I never gave any thought to.

What about prisons. In oz one goes to the jail of ones original gender. I would think that to be horrendous.

Tony WK

[white knight]

I should elaborate.

Horrendous for those having had gender change.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hi Rob, the sharing of food or drink, like licking an icecream or sharing a drink, the clothes you might wear, reaction from a parent or family knowing that you are gay and being ostracised or teased or constantly being asked about getting a partner of the opposite sex, harrassed about why you don't want to play a physical sport, even though some people do play sport and why our politicians are so blatantly against accepting this, because gay relationships have been going on for centuries, but then do any politicians know what should be happening that's an enormous question mark, and why are there rules for hetersexuals and different rules for gay people, takes us back to the black and white days doesn't it. Geoff.

[pipsy]

Hi Rob. I couldn't agree more with you. Just because you have sexual preferences doesn't make you less of a person with feelings. Unfortunately, a lot of the prejudices that are prevalent today date back to the bible. People were taught that any sort of GLBT's were to be stamped out. It was thought and taught that these people are sick. If you ever enter a church, and people learn of your sexual preferences you will be ostracized and made to feel like a leper. I treat everyone as a person, as long as they respect me, I respect them. Certain areas of L.A, gays etc are accepted. When I was there a few years ago, I went to a café for dinner, when I emerged there was a young gay couple embracing and openly kissing quite passionately. No-one took the slightest bit of notice. N.Z now recognizes gay marriages I believe Elton John's marriage is also recognized. I must admit I am not comfortable with too much affection in public, but that's me. I'm okay with hugging/kissing, holding hands but open fondling in public, I do get embarrassed. Some things should be kept to your own home. Don't get me wrong, I would never say anything, but I do find it embarrassing for me. As far as children, the only thing I get concerned about is the impact on the children through bullying. I have no fears about GLBT's living with and raising children.

Lynda

[geoff]

dear Rob, I forgot to mention why is it that girls can kiss each other and walk down the street without anybody flinching an eye when they are holding hands or even dance together, yet if guys do it then it's frowned upon, it's that double dipping. Geoff.

[pipsy]

Hi Geoff. A lot of that is because of Queen Victoria who believed that women had emotions that men didn't have. It's more acceptable for women to show emotions/love than it is for men. I do agree that today we should be more liberated, but there's so many people who live in 'yesterday', I can't see attitudes changing in our lifetime. We definitely have double standards, unfortunately, it's about time people were accepted as people, first, their sexual preferences shouldn't come into it, but they do. Perhaps the next generation can educate more than ours did.

Lynda

[Kazzl]

Hi Rob, thank you, this is an excellent post!

As a woman who never accepted the conservative, religious-based, traditional view of what women should and shouldn't do, I see many parallels. We (women) are further down the track to equality than is the case for LGBTIQ people. But the power and impact of male hetero privilege still exists and affects us. And I say this not to change the focus of this topic but to support it.

Australians like to believe we live in an equal, egalitarian society. But only those who never feel the hurt of prejudice can live as if that's true, unaware of the discrimination and fear that LGBTIQ people, women, people of colour, people of religions other than Christian and no doubt I've left someone out, experience. (Oh, and Scott Morrison of course, poor discriminated against right wing nut job that he is.😄)

While any of us walk in fear and have to be always conscious of what others might think or do because of who we are, how we were born, we are not an equal society.

I don't experience the same things LGBTI people do, but I know the hurt of discrimination and the fear. Difference is, and I am very conscious of this, women now have a voice in mainstream media. LGBTIQ people don't yet. So I am very grateful that you and others share your experiences to help us all understand the true, insidious and vile nature of the inequality you live.

I stand with you, and I know you would stand with me. In my ideal world we would all stand together, with no one to stand against!

I hope (and believe) that if this hateful plebiscite goes ahead, it will not be left to the LGBTIQ community alone to raise their voices against the haters. I hope (and believe) there will be voices in unison loud and proud drowning out the haters. I'll be adding mine.

xxxx

[Gruffudd]

Thankyou Kazz. The change that women have fought for and won has helped make things better and continue to do so. One big thing right now is the changing language around domestic and family violence. If we can achieve change here it will have a ripple effect. Attitudes, and respect make the difference. Understanding what seems is like a butterfly effect between how we encourage our kids to play with others to how they have relationships as adults is about changing the inequality. Also getting all of us to stop, think, and respect. We are all different and when that is something we celebrate the world is a richer better place.

[pipsy]

Hi Kazzl. I too stand shoulder to shoulder with you. I would've thought in today's enlightened society of equal rights, GLBTI's would've been accepted in the same way as everyone else. We fought for years for equal rights for colored's other nationalities, why should GLBTI's be the exception. What makes me angry is everyone wants to watch the Gay and Lesbian Mardi-Gra, but before and after, these same people are still ostracized by the people who enjoy the Mardi-Gra. Geoff mentioned the double standard earlier where women walking down the street are ignored when they hold hands, kiss, hug etc. Why is it that when the Mardi-Gra is on, everyone turns out to watch it, but the next day these people are ignored and called names by the same people who watched the Mardi-Gra?. I don't think I'll ever understand people. Everyone has the same rights, John Lennon once sang, 'Give Peace A Chance', so right. Change that to, 'Give Them A Chance'.

Lynda