Going forward, uncertain.

[Justaguy007]

So being a 49 year old male, always known I was gay but never wanted to accept it and fought hard to deny it. Married for 25 years to the most beautiful person in the world and have 3 incredible children who are well grown up, and am extremely proud of. Could not give my everything to my wife from a love point of view, even though I love her and always will. Over the years became more and more distant and eventually, 6 months ago, brought it out. And we had both known for 25 years and both wanted to deny it. So moved out staying alone, feel awkward around family and just simply don’t want to see or talk to anyone. It’s weird and hurts at times. Work keeps me sane and completely immerse myself in work and love it. Don’t want anyone else to know and only a very few do.

So my question is, does this ever get better, how can I stop hurting the ones I love, and what is best for the family , for them?

[Only_I_know]

Hey mate, yeah, so you sound fed up. don't blame you. You're trying to navigate some really hard stuff. You'd know that these things aren't any different whether gay or straight, but that doesn't matter.

You bringing it up is just the honesty in you. And perhaps nervousness and trying to keep a conversation going. If someone can't trust that all you did was look, then that's on them, and possibly indicates how things would be long term. You're new to this, so it only makes sense you'd be checking out everything. Maybe if you were in a long term stable relationship being on a dating site would hurt, but I don't think so when just meeting.

When you think you are ready, there are plenty of social clubs, Google "Team xxxxxx" (e.g. Sydney/Melbourne etc, depending on where you live). You'll find a heap of LGBT sporting clubs. I joined a walking / running club and the people were friendly and inclusive. Obviously at the moment you may not be able to go out depending on where you are or if you're in lockdown. There is also an APP called Meetup - it's a social app not a dating app. You can connect with all sorts of social groups from hiking, games, dinners (some will be dedicated LGBT). I've done that too, and met a heap of nice people.

Keep your chin up, you are on the right path for your own health. I get what you say about your work, you know it better than anyone else, and if it is keeping you sane then that's good. They don't need to know your private life.

take care

Daz