GLBTI relationships -less rights than married folks.

[Paul]

Why do we need marriage equality anyway - we have the same rights as married couples. CRAP!

I read an article that detailed two guys who had been in a relationship for 5 years. One of the guys took his own life. He was estranged from his family. Once the death had been reported, the deceased's partner was locked out. He couldn't view his lover's body as he wasn't recognised as next of kin. The mother took over despite there being tension and the family relationship having ended.

The surviving partner was not allowed at the funeral, wasn't welcome to help with his lover's possessions and was effectively shut out.

How can we begin to grieve when this happens? what if it's one of us who suffers depression and it sends us in a spin or a panic?

This is bullshit and the right wing bible thumping government must act.

What do you think?

Paul

[TheSteve]

Hi Paul,

Good to hear from you mate, I know we've crossed paths a few times here on BB over the past few months. That is a pretty sad story, and I can see how that can be devastating to anybody - gay, straight, black, white - it does not matter. It is a human thing, and not being able to grieve or care for a loved one when sick, dying, or dead, is quite devastating.

This seems like a situation that was much inflamed by the family due to their views on the world, on marriage, on relationships etc. It was the family, not the law, that stopped the partner attending the funeral. Sad, unfortunately. But don't rely on the government to solve this problem. Government solves very, very little. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.....

I am a straight, white, married male. I'm not religious. I believe in your rights to equality. There are many like me who feel exactly the same way and would grant these rights in a second should we have the power to act. We don't. For better or worse, it is a fight. But with each fight, comes the stress, tension, and chance of win OR loss. Pick your fights, save your energy, and know that there are many people of all stripes who support you. 

All the best.

Steve

[justinok]

Hey Steve, I appreciate your good intentions but it's just not true the way you're framing that situation. This story (not unique by the way, there are thousands upon thousands of stories like it, you only have to look at the Australian story Holding The Man to see how a man gets shut out of his Catholic partner's funeral by the family). If this man had next of kin rights, the family would not be able to shut him out. Pure and simple. As someone who is able to marry, and is married, you may take these things for granted. Those of us without those rights are acutely aware that we are at the whims of often hostile family members and health professionakls.

It's great that you and others like you are supportive of equal rights for people like us, and would grant them in a heartbeat if you could. You're not powerless though. You vote for the people who make laws, just like we do. You have the power to lobby on behalf of friends and family members. 

With all due respect, talk is cheap when it comes to 'support' on these issues. 

[Paul]

Hey Steve,

Thanks for your kind words. I hear what you're saying and while the law does allow for same sex couples to have similar rights under the relationships act, I believe that a family member **by marriage or blood** can override the claim of next of kin. Next of kin rights can be granted to same sex couples and de facto couples after 2 years of cohabitation.

That aside it's still a tragic story that has happened many times. What inflames it is as you have mentioned, the family kicking up a stink just to be arseholes - most likely because their son was gay in the first place. this is a guess and is not stated in the article.

At the moment we the people have no control over what happens with regard to the marriage act being changed. As we've seen the government can delay it and manipulate the party to keep it sustained

Pick my fights - definitely, but whose figures do you believe in the percentage of Australians who want things changed to become equal?

Thanks again Steve, take care!

Paul x

[Gruffudd]

A law that discriminates is not just. The marriage act discriminates and was intended to when modified with that one man and one woman bit being added a couple of years back. That there are other better laws in terms of discrimination doesn't make that right. There is no justice until we are all equal - at least as far as I can see it.