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Gay or Bi......why am I making it so hard for myself?

Community Member

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum and have sat here crying hysterectivally after watching some inspiring online clips by Analiese and Shane. It was very  inspirational and I think it brought up many home truths for myself about self hatred and the way in which society views people and the way I view myself. I have been questioning my sexuality for the past 7 years after growing up believing I was straight until I hit my mid twenties. I now feel like I have been in a bad dream for this past 7 years and that I will wake up one day with a clear answer. Yet this may not happen....am I gay or bisexual or what? I feel like I actually dont fit anywhere and that makes me really sad and lonley. I dont know whether to search for a male or female partner as I have been in relationships with both sexes and neither felt right. When I was with my male partner I thought about being with a female and then a few yrs later when I was with my female partner I thought about being with a guy.

Luckily, I am surrounded by some many amazing family and friends who are so supportive but have no idea really what I am experienceing. I just want it to stop. I have since been diagnosed with depression a few months again after hitting rock bottom and not being able to function. As a health profresssional myself, I was good at hiding the symptoms from myself until eventually I couldnt anymore. I mean I care for other right? I'm not the one that needs help.....so I thought.

Anyway I don't want to bring u down with my woes, but just to say that I'm not sure where to go from here. I want to be the carefree happy person that I once was and know that I am the only one who can change this. But how I ask?


10 Replies 10

Community Member

is there not a shift in sexuality over a persons life? i am hearing all sorts of things, i know of lebians girls that say they have always known and some that have had husbands...

just be happy with who you are at the present time.

i thinklabels suck, but i does make it easier for the layman to know how to deal with you, maybe some blokes just want a label so they know if a person is a go... while i dislike the term bisexual tending to think it refers to people who eat sleep and breath sexual encounters, and that there should be sub catagories maybe. maybe just be a good person, have loving relationships and be positive and give back to humanity..... best of luck in finding your centre,