Gay or Bi......why am I making it so hard for myself?

[Kikki]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum and have sat here crying hysterectivally after watching some inspiring online clips by Analiese and Shane. It was very  inspirational and I think it brought up many home truths for myself about self hatred and the way in which society views people and the way I view myself. I have been questioning my sexuality for the past 7 years after growing up believing I was straight until I hit my mid twenties. I now feel like I have been in a bad dream for this past 7 years and that I will wake up one day with a clear answer. Yet this may not happen....am I gay or bisexual or what? I feel like I actually dont fit anywhere and that makes me really sad and lonley. I dont know whether to search for a male or female partner as I have been in relationships with both sexes and neither felt right. When I was with my male partner I thought about being with a female and then a few yrs later when I was with my female partner I thought about being with a guy.

Luckily, I am surrounded by some many amazing family and friends who are so supportive but have no idea really what I am experienceing. I just want it to stop. I have since been diagnosed with depression a few months again after hitting rock bottom and not being able to function. As a health profresssional myself, I was good at hiding the symptoms from myself until eventually I couldnt anymore. I mean I care for other right? I'm not the one that needs help.....so I thought.

Anyway I don't want to bring u down with my woes, but just to say that I'm not sure where to go from here. I want to be the carefree happy person that I once was and know that I am the only one who can change this. But how I ask?

cheers.

[DaneSaysYay]

is there not a shift in sexuality over a persons life? i am hearing all sorts of things, i know of lebians girls that say they have always known and some that have had husbands...

just be happy with who you are at the present time.

i thinklabels suck, but i does make it easier for the layman to know how to deal with you, maybe some blokes just want a label so they know if a person is a go... while i dislike the term bisexual tending to think it refers to people who eat sleep and breath sexual encounters, and that there should be sub catagories maybe. maybe just be a good person, have loving relationships and be positive and give back to humanity..... best of luck in finding your centre,