feeling sad...

foreigner_in_AU · ‎17-05-2014

Hi all,,

I hope you can help me. I feel sad very often and I don't sleep well. It's hard for me because I haven't told anyone about this, also, I migrated to Australia and my family is not here, I feel I never adapted completely to this country even I have been here for more than 7 years. I have been taking anti depresants and I exercise most days but still feel sad, well I am gay and don't have a partner, this is also affecting I think.

Cheers

Neil_1 · ‎17-05-2014

Hi there FIA (much easier to write than foreigner in AU's) Hope that's ok

I hope that it's the fact that you don't have a partner that is affecting you badly and not that you're gay (cause there's nothing wrong with that). Yes, that's a Seinfeld line, but it is true in the real world as well. Sorry, I just needed to produce a little light heartedness, as things are a bit tough of late.

Now, welcome to Beyond Blue and can I also say Well Done to you on coming here and providing your post.

I think there's some things to work with here. Ok, so you've been here for 7 years - and you've mentioned that you're on anti depressants, which means that you've been to a GP to discuss things. May I ask how long you've been on your meds for and with that, has your GP suggested for you to seek out any further professional help - perhaps a psychologist to help you work through some issues?

FIA, it's really great that you've mentioned that you exercise most days - may I ask what sort of exercise that you enjoy and do?? Is it gym or do you participate in any sports?

Being here for 7 years, me thinks that you may be also holding down a job, yes? If so, how is that and do you enjoy it?

Look I know I've probably fired a number of questions to you, but if you're able to get back to us with some further answers, that will definitely help us to be better equipped with being able to better advise you.

Thanx again for coming here to post - and I do look forward to your response back.

Kind regards

Neil

geoff · ‎18-05-2014

dear FIA, moving to a new country can firstly be strange in itself, and secondly not knowing where to meet someone who can be a partner is even harder, so I have done some searching on the net so google this 'where to meet gay men in aus', plus their are many personal sites to meet someone who you like, but the trouble with this is it costs money.

I'm not sure what state you live in, or whether it's a big or small town, but maybe look in the paper as well as the local paper, I'm sure that under personal ads there will be some contact numbers.

Even antidepressants don't solve being lonely or feeling as though you want company, and if you have been by yourself for 7 years it's a long time.

There's also the gay, Lesbian, bi section here on this forum where you maybe able to post the question of where to find a partner, but not quite sure if the site would allow for places to meet, but you can try. Geoff.

justinok · ‎19-05-2014

Hey mate, seven years and still not feeling welcome... sorry to hear that. It can be tough starting out in a new place and being away from your family. Do you have any gay friends? Do you go to any gay events or venues? Are you out to your family at all? Sorry for all the questions but would like to get a picture of what your social life is like. You're sounding pretty isolated at the moment. Fellow gay guy here so I know what it can be like to feel like you're all on your own.

foreigner_in_AU · ‎20-01-2015

Hi all,

I need to talk to someone, I am desperate. I was in the US and married a same sex person, I am 36 yo, he is 12 years younger. We met in July, and we married in October, very quickly, I thought it was the right decision, but things started to change: he started to hit me, threatened to divorce, he constantly checked my phone, email, he had all my passwords for the social websites, and constantly thought I was flirting with my friends, or if I was going out for a walk, he asked me to leave the phone cause he thought I was going to contact gay guys.

I swear to him so many times I was faithful but he kept doing this.

The thing is that we still love each other, I decided to return to Australia and he is in the US, he wants to get back together, but my mind tells me the abuse will continue, the insecurities and the jealousy behavior.

I need your thoughts, thank you.

justinok · ‎05-02-2015

Hey mate, so sorry, I didn't realise this was a new post, hope you're still around.

My opinion, the insecurities and jealous behaviour, that kind of stuff happens in relationships and can be worked through. But if someone is hitting you? Game over.

You can't let anyone treat you like that, no matter how much you love them. He needs help.Now that we have the option of getting married (well not in Australia but anyway, in most other Western countries), it can be easily to get carried away and rush into committed relationships. There's a lot to be said for the long engagement, I reckon.