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came out as gay and am dating a girl but i feel so anxious

Community Member

{for context a lot has changed in my life recently: i came out as gay to my parents, they didnt react the best but not the worst either. things at home got stressful everyday, so i moved out. now im struggling with that whole living independently situation so i might move back in}

Back in about July i got Tinder as i became more confident with the possibility that i like girls. So i wanted to start dating to see what it would be like. The dates were fun, but it seems that i kept putting myself in a friendzone because i feel this massive anxiety in my stomach whenever i sense something intimate-y is about to occur.

This caused so much frustration because i know i get turned on by girls but when im actually with one, it really scares me.

Currently ive been dating a girl for about a month and a half - i have loved getting to know her and i am happy to keep seeing her, but i still get crazy anxious about things getting intimate, every morning i wake up with anxiety because i have no idea what im doing, and i feel this terrible sense of guilt.

I don’t know if this makes sense, so ask questions if you need, but if theres anyone out there who kinda gets this or has dealt with this in the past, i would love to hear some tips.

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion
Hi, welcome

Guilt is likely the core issue for various reasons mostly expectations from others.

Other than that anxiety you're experiencing is no different to when I dated decades ago as a heterosexual.


Beyondblue topic guilt the tormentor