Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Bi / bicurious married woman

Community Member

Hi there

I am a thirty one year old woman in a hetero marriage. I have only ever been in hetero relationships but I have been attracted to both men and women since I was a teen and I am now talking to my husband about having a threesome with a woman.

my question is, are sexuality labels (gay, bi, straight etc.) based on attraction or experience?

i am attracted to women but have no sexual experience with them.

are you bi curious when you only have the attraction and not the experience?

Thanks. Just not sure if im bi curious or bi

5 Replies 5

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Betterfly Wings Of Hope...

I am so sorry you haven’t received a reply...Sometimes posts can get pushed back when in very busy times..it is no reflection on you post...

I cannot give you any suggestions myself as I have had only one relationship in my lifetime and even though it was for 38 years it wasn’t really good at all.....

I hope by me posting on your thread that it will bump your page to the front page and someone with lived experience can answer your question....

My kindest and most caring thoughts...lovely lady..


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Butterfly.Wings.of.Hope!

I have a few female friends who label themselves as bi, I really think everyone's experiences with labelling are different! You've really demonstrated that you are aware of those feelings which I personally think means you have really thought about the bi/bicurious labels. Which label do you feel more comfortable with?

I think the experiences may make it clearer for you about your feelings but otherwise I like to tell people to trust their gut instinct!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Community Member

Hi there,

I understand this is a late reply, but I've just read your message and thought maybe you'd like some support. I consider myself a bisexual woman, although I am in a long-term relationship with a man. When I was younger I had a few small experiences with women, but have never been in a relationship with one. I asked myself the same question, whether I can identify as bisexual if I'm not really experienced. My answer to that is that it all depends on what you feel in your heart. You can be sexually attracted to a gender, but not romantically attracted, and vice-versa. While it makes no real difference to my relationship with my partner, I feel that I want to be labelled as bisexual because it is part of my identity.

Not sure if this helps, but it's really just about accepting whatever it is you're feeling.

Best wishes

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Butterfly.Wings.of.Hope,

I wanted to check in and see how you were doing!

Community Member

Hello, I just saw this. l am curious, though I’ve never been with a woman. I’m not sure if l’ll 

ever be.

How are you going?