Am I a trans trender or really trans?

[AnotherOasis]

Hi y'all,

So I think i'm trans but I never showed significant signs in my childhood. One of the few times i remember thinking about my gender was thinking about why i use the female bathroom if i don't feel like one. As a kid I also had some trauma relating to my father and men in general, idk if this important or not. I first heard of being transgender in 8th grade and the video seemed to describe everything about me and how i felt about my gender. I couldn't come out at school or to my parents so, online i was a guy and went by male pronouns and a male sounding name.

Everything that i said kinda sounds like i am trans but from here I felt like a fake. I had come out to my parents during 9th grade and we saw a new paediatrician and my gp. On the first appointment they both said i wasn't trans because as a kid I didn't show enough signs and this was a phase to fit in at school, the all girls religious school, yeah ik. These doctors had spoken to my mother alone and me but only with my mother in the room as well.

I cant stop thinking about what they said, they had only said anything to my mother and not to me, and i feel like a fake. All of my feelings are real and it causes me pain but the doctors refused to offer me any help besides social skills to fit in more with the girls. They didnt believe a word i had to say and treated me like a little kid, i was 15.

What should i do? Am i a fake and creating some bs scheme to have more friends( im happy with my small group? Also how can i get help with my parents and on a tight budget?

Thanks guys,

Eli

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi there AnotherOasis,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum. It is great to see you here reaching out to get some support while working through this. You must feel isolated especially after your parents and your GP dismissed how your are feeling. You are not alone. We are listening.

There is some quite specific support for people who want some counselling about gender. You could try looking at QLife and finding out if there are local counselling centres near you that don't cost a fee. Their website is here https://qlife.org.au and it could be worth giving them a call.

There is also a website specifically for young people called ReachOut and they have an extensive list of links for each state on counselling services in each state. https://au.reachout.com/articles/lgbtqi-support-services

Reaching out here on the Beyond Blue forum is also a support place. It is so important that you are heard and listened to during this confusing time. The feelings and questions that you have real, and important. There are so many people exploring their gender and sexuality that I know you can get some support and hopefully for free. Perhaps by reaching out to your parents again and show them a few different support services available , you can get them to hear that you are serious and need to go further in this exploration.

Keep reaching out here and talk about it. We are here for you.

Sending you strength,
Nurse Jenn