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Worried about future relationships - issues resulting from DSP and the 'welfare trap'

Community Member

I am worried about what kind of future relationships I will have.

I am 40 years old and unmarried. I have PTSD and Clinical Depression (although the former is far worse). For years I have avoided going on the DSP even though I was likely eligible, and I was somehow managing to live. In my current circumstances I have no choice but to apply for the DSP.

I am concerned about this, however. How will I meet someone for marriage, or otherwise have a 'normal' life? If the person that I meet has a job, then my benefit will then pay zero and I am bringing nothing to the table at all. How do the other people here handle this? Alternatively, will I have to work out a situation in which my partner is my carer? Neither situation seems adequate.

I have come to accept my condition, and have also come to accept that it is unlikely to improve in the long term (its already been 10 years). However I would like to live as normal a life as possible, and do the kinds of things that 'normal' people do. One of those things is get married and possibly have children (I don't have any genetic issue - the children will be healthy). But I don't see how I can do that.

How does everyone else handle this?

3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Jack, welcome

It is a dilemma but lets look at this logically

The chances of getting the dsp mow is very low. By all means apply as its your right. Lets assume you do succeed.

Worry is counter productive but if the right petson came along you font know of the possibilities until that happens.

Eg. If you meet a lady cateer minded she might be willingfor you to be the homemaker stay at home dad. She would get carers allowance snd you could earn a moderate income in a part time job without losing some benefits like health card etc.

I have concern over you worrying begore the problem arises.

Google Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue


Tony WK

Hi, Tony.

Fortunately anxiety is not one of my issues. I am really interested in working out how to make this work.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi JackM, Tony is right, you're worrying before anything does happen and in hindsight, you needed to apply for DSP 10 years ago, however that time has passed and now we need to look at your other options.
As the government changes rather quickly, what they are always doing is make it harder for people who are suffering any type of depression to be harder to receive benefits, if only they knew what it's like to have depression then their view would change.
I'm sorry that you have been suffering for 10 years, because to have this illness for any short time is still debilitating, but as the time increases it becomes exhausting to even consider what lays ahead for the future, and as much as you feel it will never improve, the chances that it will are high, as soon as appropriate help is taken.
If however you are able to receive DSP then you meet someone, the rate will be pro-rata depending on how much your partner is earning, whereas if they are your carer then they will receive a carer's payment from Centrelink, so whichever happens first.
You've accepted that you have this condition, and that's good, so now you need to see your doctor and be reffered onto a counsellor. Geoff.