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Worried about a friend

Community Member

Hi all,

I am really worried about a friend of mine who I have been best friends with for 8 years. We did a lot together and it was a very solid relationship.

During the course of our friendship she would often go quiet for a few weeks into what she called her 'hermit' stage. I learnt to accept this and just kept checking in. I wasn't overly concerned about it at the time. She was also very moody and irritable, but again I wasn't alarmed. The past year she was more distant than usual. We only saw each other once during the entire year, but I tried to keep up text conversations (From the beginning I always had to text first and she often didn't reply - so again this wasn't unusual behaviour).

I texted for Christmas and New years with no reply. Then messaged on other social media sites asking if she was okay and that I was worried. I still did not hear back. I decided to call this week and she was very rude. She said she was on her way out and so I asked if she could call me back later. She said "Maybe" and hung up. That is really out of character for her. I then texted asking if she didn't want to talk could she message me back because I was worried. She told me that she's good and that our friendship has run its course. Then she thanked me for the friendship. It was all very business like and very unlike her.

She has a family history of bipolar disorder and I am really worried that she is maybe suffering with mental health issues. I was hoping people who have more insight on this could give me some advice on what to do. I have been really flat and anxious since it all happened. It was so unexpected. Her friendship means the world to me and i'm really worried about her.

2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Sharkfin5, a warm welcome to the forums and the concern for your friend is out of care and respect for her.

It's always so difficult to thoroughly understand how a friend feels the way they do or actually know from what has been said what to believe, simply because any type of mental illness may prevent this from happening, so it can become very confusing.

Whether this friendship has 'run its course' can not be determined until medical assistance has been sort, because if your friend is not well, then her thoughts are going to change.

If you are able to suggest that your friend seek help, although this won't be easy, especially if she won't communicate with you, but perhaps mention that she goes and talk with Kids Helpline, 1800 55 1800, Sane, Reachout, Headspace or Beyond Blue.

These sites can be obtained online either by phone, webchat or on an online basis.

We'd be pleased to hear back from you if possible.

Take care.


Community Member

Thank you for the welcome.

Yes, it is all very confusing and was very abrupt.

I was thinking of giving it some cooling off time and then making contact again. I have been blocked from some forms of social media, but hopefully I will be able to send a text (If I haven't been blocked!).