Wife left me and im lost

[BrokenB]

My partner of 12years and wife of 5 has left me. We haven't been great over the last year. I haven't dealt with my issues very well and she also hasn't dealt with hers and we both weren't there for each other. Since the split we are both dealing with our own issues. But i desperately want my marriage to work. But she doesn't. We also have two children 8yr and6yr olds. We are having children 1week each. I am miserable and struggling to keep it together. She has asked for space but i keep contacting her. It consumes every thought. I want to fight for my marriage and feel very lost without my family. Any advice?

[Odalisque]

Don't give up. Going through a breakup is hard. You need to get all the help you can from friends, family and health professionals. It will get better. There is always light at the end of the tunnel whether you reunite or not. However, I have found that it is almost impossible to have a loving, giving relationship with someone else if you have major issues that you haven't addressed. You need to fix yourself before you can re enter a loving relationship with someone else otherwise your unresolved issues will bubble to the surface when you are under stress. A therapist can help you understand how your past experiences shape the way you react to stress etc in a relationship. Stay brave and don't be afraid to go deep into yourself to help understand your interpersonal relationships.

[BrokenB]

Thankyou Odalisque.

I am currently seeing professional help and am exercising. I understand i need to work on myself which i haven't done before. But am so miserable all the time. I cry daily. I feel i cant better myself while i feel like this. We have mutual friends but no one i can talk to. I overthink everything. I also want to keep our house for our kids but i cant afford too. Sleeping is not great either. I really do appreciate your advice thankyou.

[PamelaR]

Hello BrokenB and welcome to Beyond Blue
I'm sorry to hear about your marriage.Odalisque has given you a good response. There are other caring, friendly, supportive and non judgmental people in our community BrokenB. It's good you've found your way here.

Relationship breakups are very emotional, so it's not surprising at all how you're feeling. Crying helps, it gets out all that pent up emotion you've been feeling, for some time I'd imagine too. Let it out as much as you want.
You're grieving for the relationship, and that's okay. It's normal! The grief process has no set time limit or set steps. As time progresses, you'll begin to feel better. Once that happens you’ll be able to think more clearly about who you are and the goodness within you.
Getting adequate sleep is so important to help recover and move on. There’s a great thread Sleep under the Staying Well forum you might find useful. You can go straight to the forum or do a search in the BB search field at the top of the page.

There are many who are experiencing the same situation as you. Come back and share more of your story, if and when you want to.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[BrokenB]

Thankyou PamelaR.