Why are women allowed to tell men to kill themselves?

[shope93]

I've been pushed to the absolute limit. Now I'm going to ask these hard questions. Why do women get away with telling men to kill themselves? I put up with being told I'm a useless, weak and pathetic man and I should die. Is this a normal thing? Why am I automatically a bad person for being male? Why is this happening? Is there no hope left for us?

[shope93]

I'm sorry if the topic is very confronting. I know women put up with a lot of abuse as well and I speak for them also. It's not fair either way. From my perspective I am on the recieving end so I guess that's why I worded it the way I did.

[Scared]

Yes it is a confronting post mainly because there are women on this forum whom have been abused and some may even have a distorted view of men because of this abuse.  Also the male has been sterotyped in society especially now with domestic violence campaigns in the media so prevalent and men are targeted in these campaigns and not women.  But all this media awareness is one thing but where does that leave the innocent men.  A fact that I do know is women can and are as abusive as their male counterparts and to deny this would be quickly discredited in a court of law.  I am hyper aware also of the growing trend in TV ads that use men as the punch line as the idiot and several come to mind as I write.   Im offended on a daily basis of how women portray men as the idiots on tv commercials.  Recently at at political event on womens issues at the end they made a joke about men as the idiot and I was outraged and walked out.  So yes men are under attack from every angle and you are not dreaming all this.  You see women are not men so they dont walk a day in the shoes of the innocent man and more than likely never will and as a result have no understanding of what we innocent men are bombarded with as their awareness may not be as high as the innocent victims is.  My father was never a bully or abusive or violent but my Female Mother was.  Again where does that leave you and I.  Assertiveness is the answer.   You need to stand up to whoever is a bully whether female or male and say you dont deserve this from them and they need to begin their change towards you now.   I personally wouldnt put up with what you are telling me for a minute and I would defineately make big changes if it didnt stop.  You can explain to them how much it hurts you and could they please stop belittling you.  But in saying all this I have met beautiful hearted women as well as the bad.  Both genders can be abusive it just comes down to finding the right person for you and appreciate them everyday .

There is alot more i can say but beyond blue is not about gender its about all inclusive to all.   Your post maybe too hot to touch for some but I hear you.

[therising]

Hi shope93

It's a shame that there are such extremist views in this world. This makes it so difficult for people who can suffer in a lot of ways, including the ways of mental health. As a mum to a 19yo son and 21yo daughter, we have open conversations about highly questionable attitudes, including extremist attitudes. Sexist attitudes toward men, not just women, occasionally come up in conversation.

I think of how, a few years ago at one of my son's school assemblies, there was a political guest speaker (a female) who wanted to point out great injustices in history. What she did was get all the white males in the assembly to stand up, so she could point out to everyone these were typical of the type of offenders. Needless to say, a sh** storm ensued once the parents found out. The guest speaker lost her job. To shame conscious and considerate young men and make them an example is offensive, especially to those young men. It is guilt through association and encouraging sexist views.

I tend to question equality and liberation for all these days. While amazing people have worked so hard and so tirelessly over the years when it comes to establishing domestic abuse shelters for women and their children, where are the shelters for men and their children (when it comes to escaping domestic abuse)? This is one of many examples of how good people in need of help can be neglected, based on gender. And when it comes to double standards, oh my gosh! When you have talk shows where the male presenters of prizes are dressed in little skimpy outfits and the female audience is all whooping, whistling and cheering, I can't help but think 'You are of the gender who fought to stop objectifation. What is wrong with you?!'. You could imagine the uproar if the gender roles were reversed in that situation. Anyhow...now I'm starting to rant a little. I just can't help it sometimes, once I get started. I think it's partly based on the fact I have an incredibly conscious, considerate, kind and thoughtful young man as a son and I can't stand the thought that he is hated, discriminated against and abused simply for being male.

There are a number of things wrong with how men are treated these days and a lot wrong with how women and kids are treated too. When the liberation of a certain group of people (not just gender based) comes at a cost to others, it ceases to be liberation for all.

[Sophie_M]

Hey shope93,

We’re sorry to hear what you’re going through. It sounds incredibly challenging. We’re glad you had the strength and bravery to share this here. We understand it can be a really tricky topic to discuss.

For anyone experiencing abuse, we recommend having a chat with one of the lovely people at 1800RESPECT, who are experts in supporting people who have experienced, or are at risk of, family and domestic violence. They are available on 1800 737 732, or you can reach them on online chat, here: https://chat.1800respect.org.au/#/welcome. 

Thank you again for your strength in sharing here and for the community for generously and respectfully sharing their responses. 

Kind regards,  

Sophie M 

[Fiatlux]

Hi shope93,

Let me start by saying that nobody, male or female gets away with inciting someone to end their life. This is not just a vile thing to say to someone, but I think not legal in many states, especially if the victim follows through with this. 
 

Whoever is telling you that you are useless or weak or pathetic, should not be in your life.

This indeed a very hot subject. I am a survivor of domestic violence and survived an attempt to end my life.

In my case my abuser knew that I was broken. I was being held together by a cocktail of medication. When I was at my very lowest, my GP wouldn’t prescribe more medication or increase my dosage, as this would have been dangerous. My abuser knowing full well that I was on the brink, sourced meds for me on the black market.

The fact that you are here and wanting to talk to others about this subject, just shows you that you are not what that person has called you.

I know abusive narcissistic woman and they are very harmful to everyone around them. They don’t have to physically assault you to be abusive. Hence why we recognise, mental and psychological abuse as being just as harmful and dangerous and certainly unacceptable.

You need to remove abusive people from your life. Gook luck and all the best. Fiatlux 🙏🏼