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Why am I feeling this way? Please help

Community Member

Hi Everyone,

How are you all? I am new to this forum and really need to let out my feelings that I has been destroying me this past few weeks. I feel so lonely. I have friends at work but I think I dont fit in. They are nice people but I cant help but feel I am not fitting in. I am just only an admin person and they are technical people so I feel inferior. Sorry if I dont sound coherent, my head and heart are not in a good place.

If I can share my problem and pls do feel free to tell me that I am being selfish and that my feelings are wrong.

I have a close friend in the office. He is in a senior role but he's been close to me and he was really good by being there when I had a tough few months last year. Anyway, our team expanded and I became close to a fellow colleague. Like my guy friend, she also holds a senior position. First few months we were getting close but I know she was also getting close to my guy friend. Now it seems that they are more close to each other now than to me. We have our group chat and i feel out of place because they talk about things i dont know. I admit they are quite sophisticated people with fancy tastes - while I dont. Most of the time, I think they are better off being friends and I should just keep my distance because they are just too good for me. Besides, I cant even contribute to their discussions. Plus Im just admin while they hold high positions. I know you'd think they dont care about my position but sometimes my guy friend who likes to joke around would jokingly call me "the help". I have been okay before but lately I take it personally and destroys my self.confidence and fuels my low self esteem. Lately i have been feeling extremely down and just want to leave my job because of this. I used to love my female friend but now i feel resentment and feel that she used me to get close to my guy friend. I know i am being paranoid but i just dont feel good about myself.

Please help me. Please be honest and tell me off if I am wrong. I would really appreciate it.

Thank you all.


1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Amity

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. It is hugely brave of you to write in here and tell us your story. Thank you for trusting us. We will help you as much as we can and there will always be support for you. I am sorry you are having such a hard time.

You said you have little self confidence and self esteem and the words and actions of your friends are making you feel worse. Well, I'm not surprised. They sound like two very rude and insensitive people. It is disgusting for anyone to refer to you as The Help. Obviously these people have no manners at all. To hold a conversation between themselves in front of you when you are unable to join in demonstrates their total lack of respect for you.

You say you are "only admin", but remember, without you all their technical skill would be lost. This type of person usually has no admin abilities and relies on people like to keep everything in order and running smoothly. I suspect they 'befriended' you because they need you.

Yes it's quite possible the female used your connection with the male to strike up a friendship. People do that sort of thing. Unless you really like your job I would suggest finding another. These people will only notice your absence when the admin work piles up.

It really makes me angry to hear this sort of thing. Really it's a form of bullying, but not one that you can complain about, technically speaking. so go and work in an organisation that appreciates your skills and where others enjoy your company.

I doubt you are paranoid and certainly not in the wrong. Amity, I am really sorry that you are in this position. Do you have any family or friends you can confide in? I find it helps to talk it out with someone you trust. We are always here to listen and offer support. Conversations take time because of the nature of the forum, but you will always get a reply.

In your situation I would also take it personally and given the inconsiderate actions of your colleagues I would feel my confidence would take a hit.

You cannot change these people. Find a new job and give them the flick. It's the only language they understand. Continue writing in here. You are a good person and deserve, at the very least, good manners from your colleagues.