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When things fall apart how to put them back together

Community Member

Recently had a split with the Mrs the battle had been going on for sometime I tried so hard to get things to work but it didn't work out. To overcome her anxiety and depression and to live a life became difficult, she would come back to me anytime but when she does it doesn't work and now i feel like a broken man because I had to turn her away for health reasons and self care. I do love her but I didn't know how to fix the situation and it fell apart and I started developing mental health issues myself while with her. Also at the same time I had job issues I accidentally crashed the car and the company came after me for $1000 and I got lawyers involved because it was illegal what they where doing. They dropped it but then went after me at work so after another talk with with lawyers I decided to leave, currently studying 3 courses at the moment to try and fix the job situation.

I guess I do have to admit I do not feel confident at present and have lost my way big time. The internet dating is a lot of work and if it doesn't work I feel down after. I'm 32yrs old and was looking forward to the next stage of my life and going back 5 steps and things not working have brought back the past as well. Current situation isn't great and feel like I am at rock bottom, I am finding it difficult at present but I am fighting hard. My mum and her partner also had a split during this time so she is suffering from depression so it looks like I have no hiding place it's all around me. A family issue also raised it's head at this time as well it was about the money my grandad had when he died so I had to sort that as well I have been getting smashed. Courses are full on as well but are keeping me inspired to keep going and not to fall into a hole.

I have been getting counseling both with her which has stopped and by myself now, they tell me to be patient and concentrate on sorting things out and do my study. I also forgot I got scammed as well during this time and they opened 10 bank accounts in my name and it looks like a phone account as well after doing a check on credit check today worst 1 yr of my life ever.

Life can be difficult at times and my theory is just to keep breathing well I guess it works because I'm here and I'm training and pushing threw it the best way I can.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi there Out of This World. I see that you have posted a few times already, although I have only seen this particular thread of yours. In case nobody has yet welcomed you ... welcome to the BB Forums! Its always a pleasure to welcome new members, even though it is usually when people are at a low point in their lives that they first join the site.

I would suggest that you have a look at the extensive resources BB has to offer. Take a look at the section below, especially under the headings of "Get Support" and "The Facts". You may find this helpful.

You're right .... it does sound like its been a dreadful year for you, with one thing piling up on top of the other. It can overwhelm us. However it sounds as though you are doing everything right with regards to self care. In time, you will come out the other side happy again, and stronger because of all that you have gone through.

It is obvious that you are keeping busy, and thats a plus. But its also important to find time to do something just for you. Preferably something relaxing, given that you lead such a busy life. It could be reading, going to a movie, going to the footy with some mates, going for a night out with friends. Whatever makes you happy basically.

You havent mentioned any sport or exercise activities. Do you play any sport or go to the gym perhaps? It is very important to our mental health to take part in regular exercise or activity. Will your limited time allow you to do something along those lines? Even a half hour walk a couple of times a week is of benefit.

Its good that you are seeing a counselor, and I hope they are able to help you with some relaxation techniques which would help you. Have they suggested you practice mindfulness? Lots of people have great success through that, so it could be worth looking into. There are a number of online options available if you would care to google mindfulness.

Yes OOTW (parden the abbreviation), lots of people go through rough patches in their lives. And right now, you are going through a real doozy, being hit from all angles. But take heart in knowing that things can and will improve. I'd suggest you keep doing as you have been, and maybe make a few little tweaks along the way. If you still feel you are not coping, see your GP.

Meanwhile I hope you feel comfortable posting here on the Forums anytime you need some support. You may be interested in joining in some fun within the Social Zone threads as well.


Thanks for reply

Yes i have come on here as time has progressed in stages of events. I feel a little stuck and coming on BB and venting has been very handy at times had a bad day yesterday. The thing for me is I dislike drama and it has covered my life so I didn't handle it well. She was very demanding and stubborn as well so it seemed to me like I became a carer and it became difficult to achieve anything and I had zero experience with mental health. The background story is I also starting developing mental health issues from being around her and i got sucked into the life slowly but i didn't accept it and said we need to do something about this.

I will have a look at this social zone and see what happens but the experience has opened my eyes to a world i didn't know existed ( reason for my name out of this world). The counselor which i have 2 of both say there is no need to see a Gp at the present time. I have found that using all resources including this is handy in gaining control back slowly. I do some relaxation with my healer every 3 weeks as well they are fun and relaxing. The thing is she is not very understanding of the situation which doesn't help so I battle on and manage all things as well as I can at present and try to stay as positive as I can. It would be good to be just dealing with the relationship issue but life has a way of testing you.