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Want to have a romantic connection with someone, just anyone.

Ben_L
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey guys,

Im not new to this I've been here a couple of times, i really am looking for ways to connect with others as I'm very lonely and upset at this point. Just for anyones information, i am 16 years old and i am diagnosed with high functioning autism, as you may know autism makes things like this a real big struggle and challenge. I just really want someone to notice how hard i try instead of focusing on thee thought that, "he's autistic he doesn't know how i feel." but i really want to know how people feel and develop a connection with them

I need help guys. If anyone is willing to help please feel free, id really appreciate it

21 Replies 21

Nicumum
Community Member
Hi Ben,

For one it's fantastic you have reached out!
I have had multiple autistic men as friends who have mistaken my interest and care for them as romantic love, usually because they had never had a female friend prior and because of signals being missed it's easy to mistake those signals. For anyone at all it's difficult to get to know someone and then realise when and if you can transition the relationship into something romantic. Especially at your age it's the hardest because everyone is learning how to deal with sudden more adult feelings and interactions.
As a broad overview, girls your age are quite nervous and there are alot who wish a boy would speak to them or give them a compliment. Are there any you know who may be overlooked by others but have special qualities about them?
When you speak about pouring your heart out and another having that knowledge, that seems to be more common regarding the male's I know with autism. My best friend has it and he can get quite upset or mad at people if things don't quickly become serious but that's not how most people work. If it helps preplan speaking to someone, choose one or two things to open up about and then see what they would like to discuss and take it from there.
Ultimately whoever you date will have to learn how to change their views on interactions to better suit your needs as it's easier to accomplish them the reverse, so it's best to be upfront with people as I know for myself as a woman I rely on to many subtle movements and expressions to my husband that wouldn't translate.
I wonder if there are potentially teen dating forums? I'm 30 and honestly while it only feels like yesterday I was your age things have changed alot!
In conclusion, life is about learning and most of the time failing, it's how we recover from those failures that's important and not allowing the negative to define us. You seem very intelligent and self aware, both of which you should be very proud of 🙂

Ben_L
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey Nicumum,

Thank you for your reply,

This really helps me better understand that im not the only person who feels this way as youve said, im not the only autistic person whos poured their heart out,

really appreciate it

Thanks,