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Want to have a romantic connection with someone, just anyone.

Ben_L
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey guys,

Im not new to this I've been here a couple of times, i really am looking for ways to connect with others as I'm very lonely and upset at this point. Just for anyones information, i am 16 years old and i am diagnosed with high functioning autism, as you may know autism makes things like this a real big struggle and challenge. I just really want someone to notice how hard i try instead of focusing on thee thought that, "he's autistic he doesn't know how i feel." but i really want to know how people feel and develop a connection with them

I need help guys. If anyone is willing to help please feel free, id really appreciate it

21 Replies 21

_trophyeyes
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

It's my pleasure πŸ™‚

Video games can be a good outlet for distractions and for when you feel like zoning out just for a little while, I understand that. I am going to call it a night though as it's getting late, though it was nice meeting you and I think reaching out in a space like Beyond Blue is really fantastic of you, and I'm sure we'll chat again soon!

Stumblingon
Community Member

I think one of the challenges with autism is not picking up on body language. Sometimes people might be trying to show interest in you but if you’re not good at reading those signals you remain oblivious to their interest.

I think maybe taking the romance out of the equation and focusing on friendships in general might be helpful. Maybe finding social clubs or something where you can just meet other people who share your interests?

Stumblingon
Community Member
Just to clarify my last post, I don’t mean forget about romance I just mean if you go in with that as your focus it can put more pressure on the situation. If you start with friendship over shared interests it can allow people to get to know you and sew the seed for romance to develop.

Hi Ben,

Hope you're going well and the above responses have been of help.

I've had the same issues in my life, I listened to the eBook "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay, which you can listen for free on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C52g27WUr7M

If it's not for you I totally understand, as we're all unique little snow flakes. I hope it makes you smile.

Regards,

Doran

Ben_L
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi stumblingon, thank you for your reply,

i completely understand what youre saying as its much easier for me to read something and comprehend it than to talk to someone head on and comprehend it correctly. i completely agree that friendships need to be developed before relationships and will take that into mind,

ill be posting regularly on here so ill be in touch if you are willing to continue chatting.

Thanks,

Ben_L
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

i totally agree that this is a place where you can express how you feel and not make eye contact which is something that i find very difficult to do when comprehending one's body language and emotions.

I really am glad that so many people are willing to help me and that makes me feel really welcomed.

Really appreciate all the replies i'll be keeping frequent updates to how i'm going.

Thank you all for your help!

Ben_L
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

hey doran, thank you for your reply,

i will definitely check this out really appreciate it,

ill be keeping frequent updates as to how im going, i really appreciate your help

thanks,

CalmCat
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

No need to thank me Ben. Find your strengths, define your values and your journey of life will take a path like no others.

Keep smiling and reach out when ever you wish.

Regards,

Doran

Juliet_84
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Ben,

I’m glad your found our responses helpful. You have such a great attitude, very positive and upbeat, it’s refreshing πŸ™‚ I don’t know a whole lot about common struggles people with autism face (excuse my ignorance) but you mentioned that you find eye contact and talking difficult, that writing is a lot easier. Would a dating app be easier in that case do you think? You could talk to someone via message, and that may give you time to get to know someone and explain your situation before you meet up? I think Doz is right, life is about finding ways to play to your strengths.

Ben_L
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey juliet,

I agree that maybe this is something i should try as it does give me time to build up a connection with someone, i think its better to progress slowly and learn about someones traits before meeting them in person, i understand what some people say might not necessarily be true, but i think this idea will help a lot,

Thanks,