Unlearn Psychopathy

Federer · ‎27-10-2023

How do I unlearn psychopathy? Or prevent my kids on becoming psychopaths or sociopaths. After working in the corporate environment I have decided not

I was setup for failure it was such a toxic work environment and I can still feel the pressure in my eyes because of the psychopaths and sociopaths I was around and the narcissists I was around who manipulated and gaslighted me where I thought I was losing my mind.

So How do I unlearn this? Because I don't want my kids to become psychopaths (BTW I don't have kids)

therising · ‎28-10-2023

Hi Federer

I've found unlearning certain ways will often involve becoming more conscious of what belief systems/mental programs are up there in my head. The quest for significant change will typically come with a lot of questions. Some of them

Why do I think the way I do? Why do I behave the way I do? What are the influences?
What is healthy thinking/behaviour and what is unhealthy (for self and/or others)?
What parts of myself do I need to start bringing to life more? For example, could it be the adventurer in me or the part of me that cares deeply for others or perhaps my more imaginative self that leads me to think outside the square? What parts of me need to start taking more of a back seat?
How does my inner dialogue need to change? Can involve general dialogue or solid mantras such as 'Get them before they get me', for example

There can be such a massive list on the quest for change so I won't go on. Becoming conscious of the deep need for change is the first step on the path toward becoming the kind of you you're happy living with. The fact you've already begun asking question indicates you're already on the path.

As a mum, I'd say raising kids is somewhat about leading them to become more conscious too. Getting them to question their thoughts, behaviours and beliefs is so important. Grounding them out of certain destructive ways is part of the job. I found it works the other way around too. With my kids being 18 and 21 and having encouraged them to question me over the years, they've questioned the kind of stuff I wasn't always fully conscious of. In the process of them asking me for reasons as to why I think and behave in the ways that I do or why I dictate what I do, they've led me to become a more reasonable or reason able person. I never learned or developed some sense of reasoning from being the kind of parent I started out as, a 'Don't question me' kind of parent.

I have learned so much from my kids over the years; how to be more reasonable, more patient, more caring and compassionate, more adventurous, more open minded and so on. When we have kids in our life, they'll teach us a lot if we're paying attention.

Federer · ‎29-10-2023

Thanks for the reply, I have also lost my inner voice and a connection with my heart and the back of brain as well when I used to think and then react. Now, I just react or stay frozen when certain circumstances and when life throws me curveballs or when someone says something like my brother which triggers my anxiety and PTSD or anger. I truly want to unlearn it and reconnect with oldself once again. Will writing with a pencil and paper help me? I keep on seeing the number 41 and after that I see the same type of Ford Mustang car its becoming annoying how I've lost sign and I want to overcome my fears.

Federer · ‎29-10-2023

plus I feel numb and I feel like there is no inner voice there whether it be my heart of brain. It's just emptiness or numbness and some kind of depersonalisation.

therising · ‎30-10-2023

Hi Federer

I think we can definitely lose trust in our self at times, based on the people we've been interacting with, the environments we've found our self in and/or the headspace we're in. Regaining trust in our self and our ability to manage can involve a lot of exploration. Whether this is something you wish to explore on your own or with a mental health professional or maybe with a soulful kind of counselor becomes a matter or choice.

Some people find journaling helps a lot, in the way of making greater sense of things and in coming to better understand themself and their triggers. So, with you considering writing, may pay to trust your inner voice. There are a lot of different ways of journaling, perhaps worth some research. One way can involve simply recording your thoughts and re-reading them in a way that helps you make better sense of how you're feeling or thinking. Another can involve simply venting, getting it all out as a way of helping cleanse the mind, body and soul (the idea of 'better out than in'). Another way can involve a kind of dictation, known as automatic writing. With this one, some people will write a question to a part of themself they want to connect/reconnect with or they'll write a question for the powers that be (in a form of meditation or prayer) and then, without thinking, they'll start writing down whatever answer or guidance simply comes to mind.

With narcissists/gaslighters, one of their goals is to disconnect people from their inner voice, a trusted sense of self connected to heart and mind. They'll do it because they don't want people connecting with it and trusting it over them. Kind of like if they were to say to us 'You're hopeless and you're weak' and our inner voice suddenly pipes up with 'That is absolutely not true'. If they can put an end to that part of you that tells you the truth, then that narcissist's/gaslighter's voice becomes the trusted one, which can be incredibly heartbreaking.

Don't lose hope when it comes to regaining the inner voice you speak of and miss. You could always look at it in the following way... If it was something you used to practice listening to and trusting in, you could say you are out of practice. Certain people in your life had led you to stop practicing. Now the challenge is about returning or turning again to the practice.