Unable to feel connected to others

[gremz]

I'm mostly curious about this. Besides the occasional feeling of frustration and mild emptiness, this isn't really effecting me all too negatively.

I just can't feel connected to anyone. Its taken me a while to realize what it is, but I just feel like I am reaching out for something that isn't there.
My mental health is the best its ever been and I haven't really been depressed since February. I still suffer anxiety which fluctuates but isn't terrible. 

I just don't understand why I can't just feel connected to people anymore.  I feel like I just keep talking at people, rather than to them, with no goal for the conversation. 

My partner says he doesn't feel this distance that I'm perceiving and I keep getting invited to social events - so I think this feeling is all on me.

Its so dissatisfying reaching out to people and getting nothing back.
Does/has anyone else experienced this?

[Paul]

Hey gremz,

I think I understand what you mean. Let me provide an example and hopefully we're on the same page.

I'll be at a party talking to people and they're talking about superficial things, "Oh I went to the beach it was lovely, much better at Sorrento than Rye" or "Mate, that car is just a piece of shit". I'll be thinking how boring these people are. WHY is the car shit, what is it about the car that is shit. What made Sorrento better than Rye and who cares, I go to Sandringham anyway.

A lot of the time what people are saying is superficial crap and it bores me. I find it hard to relate to those people.

In some instances I'll come across someone who speaks about something and then invites a discussion instead of a pissing competition.

Sometimes I've felt no connection at all with anyone and have wondered what it is that I'm looking for, am I missing something? What part of me is unfulfilled?

I'm naturally introverted, so I prefer small groups of people otherwise my energy gets stolen and I feel emotionally drained. Small groups of people have to be interesting people. I feel safer when I can retreat home and recover my energy.

Am I understanding you correctly?

Paul

[gremz]

Yes I think so!
I haven't been able to understand what I feel I'm missing, as everyone else feels so fulfilled by all these conversations.
It makes sense that its just that I can't relate to them, as I have tried to surround myself with stable happy people - which is the opposite of what my life used to be. Thanks for giving me the words for whats going on!

[Paul]

Hey - glad I could help!

Keep in mind that most of us wear a mask and outwardly stable happy people may not necessarily be that. It sounds like a bit of your intuition is involved and it's telling you that stable & happy doesn't necessarily mean interesting, engaging and fulfilling.

Try meetup - groups of like-minded people meeting up because of similar interests eg group yoga, model aircraft flying, cycling, meditation. You name it, there's a group! google meetup, there's an app and a website.

Paul