Issue 1: I’m feeling a bit annoyed with L__ right now. Every time I mention my motorbike she tries to shut me down. She has an intense dislike for ‘all’ motorbikes that is, in my opinion,, not rational. Just because her brother died on one – and I know that is a truly awful thing and extremely devastating – doesn’t mean that I too am a bad rider. But that’s how it feels; as though she thinks I am a ‘silly risk taker’ when I am NOT. For starters, her brother, she tells me, was drunk at the time when he crashed and died. I DON’T DRINK AT ALL! I wear ALL the gear all the time (maybe no gloves around town on the odd occasion) and I ride with caution. I do NOT ride if I am feeling at all anxious or distracted or not fully physically fit for whatever reason.
I feel like I want to say something to her like ‘back off’ or ‘stop judging me as being a bad rider’ but I love her and don’t want to hurt her. Losing her brother would have been awful, I understand that. But thinking that ALL riders are unsafe is ‘blanket’ thinking and unrealistic. It’s like saying ‘all men are 'nasty’ just because of one rotten egg ….. like T___ (my ex). I could EASILY say that all men are nasty, but I don’t. I know they are not, I know that is ‘blanket’ thinking and I now have PROOF they are NOT all nasty: I have a wonderful man in my life now! ❤️
Issue 2: I know T___ is a wonderful young lady and I know she means well, but I just don’t have the time she wants me to have. I don’t’ have the emotional energy to …… deal with her? I know that sounds awful ……. But really, I see her as more an acquaintance than a friend ….. and I think she sees me as a friend more than an acquaintance. I mean, sure, we worked together for a couple of years, but that was work. And it was a long time ago now. I tend to let go of work friends. Work friendships are not like personal friendships. They’re different. She keeps asking to catch up for coffee and I just keep saying no. I have tried the polite rebuff for a long time now and it’s not sinking in. Full time work is taking up huge chunks of my time and I barely have time now for my CLOSE friends and family, let alone those in a more outer-circle. I feel pressured by her to catch up when really, I just don’t want to. Maybe it's her disability that prevents her from understanding subtle social cues? I don't know. I do NOT in any way want to offend her or hurt her, but I really just don't have the time or the energy to maintain a 'friendship' that is outside of my energy radar. Anyway, any help or suggestions as to who to handle these two situations would be most appreciated. Thanks.
