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Toxic sister

Ann776
Community Member

My sister the drama queen has struggled with her life since she was 17 , me 15 only the one sibling . she went off the rails young they tried to help her the best they could. She dabbled in drugs wrong crowd… bikie clubs .. dropped her to rehab she ran off. She has always had problem

Had her first baby when she was 19, the father was my dads age and then she met another guy who was a bike club member.. in/out of jail… got pregnant to him. I think they were both doing drugs at this time also. Domestic violence involved
There is always a drama with her. You cant have a normal interaction as I believe she doesn’t want to. she always seems to be attracted to the bad/trouble.
she is 47 now and we are still struggling with her… never had a job really, always losing her car licence for one reason or another so many times.. living in housing commission.
Her daughter is 24 ( has been arrested twice for assault andhad drug issues despite being in navy).. I had my neicestay with me and my husband for about 6 months to try to help her…
Her son who is 19 has been in jail for assault not first offence…(always whilst drunk). I have had him here on bail to try to help him.

My parents.. my father likes to put his head in the sand and sort of pretend that she doesn’t have issues and always trying to save her, my mother cant handle her outbreaks. And me I ended up blocking her again as she was sending me messages every week that she cant take life anymore and shes going to end it all. (she has been threatening suicide since she was 20)

She never contacts anyone to see how we are.. you will just get a random ranting and a thousand text messages at strange times. I do know that she still smokes drugs… I know she was taking another kind of illegal drug for a lot of years…
I had tried to tell her many times not to send me those sorts of texts and to go see dr for antidepressants etc. but she wonthelp herself and keeps unloading onto me …
Her rants will be..
*someone stole my car, someone broke in, ATM stole my money, Im ugly I cant stand aging, I cant live anymore I cantstand our mother etc…

My neice has given birth to a son (to unknown father ) and didn’t know of pregnancy till 6 weeks before due and seems cycle repeating itself.. child protection has taken child as my neice was drink driving with baby in the car.
Now my sister is raving on about her lose as a grandma… has anyone else had similar…
She has never taken responsibility for her life or lack of and loves to play victim

2 Replies 2

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Welcome Ann776,

Thanks for joining us here. It sounds like it's been a frustrating relationship with your sister with the difficulties beginning a long time back. We can hear how much this has impacted your life and understand how burnt out this might have left you feeling. We're so sorry to hear that it's been so difficult. We think you've been so strong and a great support for your family.

You might consider getting in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships.

We understand that these stressful experiences may have taken a toll of your mental health and wellbeing. If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

Please feel free to reach out here anytime to keep us updated on how you're going.

tranzcrybe
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Ann,

Sorry to hear of the burdens that family can place on other members. I hope you can find support and reassurance from the many friendly bb community members.

Your sister has made many poor choices in her life - that has always been her prerogative and I feel sorry for her struggles to find happiness. You have offered help wherever you could and extended yourself to be of assistance in times of need.

Although family should look out for one another, it is not an obligation; and I hope your support is without pressure or guilt attached. There is always a risk of you becoming taken for granted to the point where you may be enabling the behaviour - sometimes you need to make a stand for your well being and for the betterment of your sister. You do have your own lives to lead and it would be nice to feel appreciated with a friendly call or visit.

And yes, I think it is common in many families as we all have our individual strengths and weaknesses, ambitions and doubts, wins and losses.

Take care.

Regards,

t.