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Toxic brother in law

Guest_07427988
Community Member

Hi all.. 

Me and my family have recently moved in with my toxic brother in law. It's been a few weeks since moving in and I have had alot of problems with him so far. I will.tey my best to start at the start but do bare with me as it's a very long story. My brother in law and twin sister has had a rocky marriage for the last few years me and my family decided to leave our home and move in with them to help them out. But it took alot of planning and organising to get us down here. In the process of this my twin sister ended dup leaving him and everything behind and now lives in a refuge. Because this plan was already in place we still moved down to help him keep his house and mortgage hoping my sister would return. It's been 2 months and she's not returning back. It has made the living situation bad for my family at his house. I recently got a casual job and paid rent weekly to him to keep a roof over my family. Myself and brother in law had a run in yesterday where I yelled and screamed at him for the right reasons. He then called the police and now he has an AVO against me. I am now staying an hour away from my family as I have nowhere else to go. My wife and kids are staying there as I don't want them to be homeless for my brother in law though am I able to take any steps to put in a complaint or report him for any reasons? His very possessive and controlling. I am concerned for my niece as she is his care. He has pushed my sister out of her home and now has pushed me away from my family. I am really concerned about the children's welfare. He works a rotating roster one week day shift next week night shift. It feels his using my partner to look after all his kids whilst his at work but yet he wants the youngest in his care just another child my partner will have to attend to whilst his at work. I really don't know what to do. I'm homeless and seperated from my family because of his choices 

 

1 Reply 1

Flowergirl97
Community Member

Hi, I saw no one has replied to your post yet and thought I should just say that there are certain charities that you can contact if you are homeless or your family is at risk of being homeless. There is the Red Cross, Mission Australia, and the Salvation Army, to name a few. It sounds like the priority in your situation is to find a safe place for your family to live away from your brother in law. 
My advice for you is to try and stay as calm as you can. I know this is a difficult thing to do when your brother in law’s behaviour has caused a lot of issues. No body would judge you if you feel angry, disappointed, or hurt by his behaviour. But my advice is stay calm as much as you can, believe me it is the best strategy to deal with a difficult situation like this. Remember to breathe and keep eating enough food and drink enough water which will help you think clearly and take steps to figure out what to do to find your family a safe place to live away from him. Ask for help from any people you trust that have been able to help you in the past, or phone the charities I mentioned. I hope this helps.