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There must be something wrong with me!

Community Member

I was dating a guy, and we broke up. I tried to get back together for many months but he just wanted a sexual relationship. This was literally what we did, we didn’t even catch up for coffee / movies or nothing, zero! I tried ...

I carried it on with this until we decided to get back together, but then he slept with someone.

I was ready to move on, we talked and after a month or so decided to see each other. He said he just wanted to interact with me normally. I stood my grounds saying I didn’t want to go back to having sex only.
Then we ended up meeting, we kissed, etc... then I asked him if he had sex with other people without a condom, he said yes. He didn’t have a condom so I didn’t want to continue. I felt sad, and unsafe.
He got very frustrated because I didn’t want to have left, said I needed to take responsibility for this and left, very angry.

was it wrong of me ? Should I say I understand his frustration ? I really don’t but I m always feeling unworthy around him

4 Replies 4

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello MelRi, and a warm welcome.

What you have said I'm sorry to hear, because any relationship can't survive on sex only and for him not to even have any concern about not wearing a condom with other girls, not only creates a problem for them but also for him, if for some reason he becomes infected.

If this guy wanders around looking for females to only have sex with, then I suggest you shouldn't worry about him if, for example, you were to become engaged, then how do you know he's not doing it behind your back.

I wouldn't worry about him and find someone who loves you for what you are and wants to participate in building a future.

Take caare.


Community Champion
Community Champion


welco e to the forum. Geoff has given a helpful and support response.

if you feel unworthy when you are with someone who does nor respect you, that will not end well.

I think you know what he is doing is not being kind or respectful as I think that’s why you may have posted. if a person causes us to question our beliefs when they have upset us , I think it it is time to move on. it is your decision but there are men out there who will respect you and want a full relationship.
be kind to yourself.

Community Member

Hi MelRi,

Well done to you for refusing to have sex when this guy would not wear a condom. It's about valuing yourself and being valued by others. Nothing wrong with that.

I would encourage you to find someone who values your thoughts and feelings and shows you the respect you deserve. Someone who wants to build a relationship and be with you not just for sex. Or even just be with yourself, friends, family and do activities that you are interested in and that make you feel good about yourself. Know you are worthy and don't accept behaviours or people that make you feel less so.

You deserve better than what this guy is prepared to give you. Walk away and don't look back!


Community Member

Hi there.

You are simply setting your boundaries by implying safe sex and also that you want more that just a sexual fantasy with this person. I would say that you might need to value yourself more as in that you are letting him make the rules around your relationship. Get him to chase you .