Hi N888
I have chats with my daughter about issues with drinking based on my own experience as an ex drinker. They're more so warnings about what can happen if relying on drinking or it getting out of control. I warn her based on not wanting her to repeat a lot of things I regret doing at that point in my life.
One of the things I warn her about involves alcohol being a mind altering substance. While it can alter the mind to the point of bringing the social butterfly out in us, we need to be able to recall exactly what that butterfly did, otherwise there can be a terrible sense of dread the next day. While relaxing us to the point where we feel free to speak and not worry about watching every little thing we say (so as to be liked and accepted by people), we have a filter for a reason. Too much alcohol and the filter can come off completely, leading to regret about what we've said that hurt someone. While it can bring the carefree part of us to life, there are things we need to care about, things we can't afford to not care about. Completely carefree can also come with a sense of dread and regret.
I mention to my daughter how while alcohol can be okay if managed carefully in moderation, in abundance it can lead to anxiety and depression based on dread and regret. I think developing natural social skills is important too, for social anxiety. While I've always been a somewhat socially anxious person (being able to feel my nervous system in challenging social situations), while I was drinking I never recognised the need for skill development in this area.
It's a tough one, especially for young people going through a process of self understanding and self development. Alcohol can offer them the freedom to be who they want to be - more relaxed, less anxious, less worried about what others think of them and so on. I found natural skill development in these areas and more led to me feeling no need to drink. I find drinking can actually get in the way of self development.
It's so tough for us when we witness our kids go through certain stages of life. When we can see them going off track in some way, the greatest challenge can involve letting them learn from certain experiences. All we can do in some cases is hope the lessons learned aren't too unbearable for them. If they are too unbearable to manage alone, that's where we come in, to offer some form of relief and guidance.
